Damn, I Hate You

It was one fourty when I woke up. It shocked me at first, to find her burried in my chest and snuggled up close. It was cold in the appartment, though, so I could understand why she was there. I pulled her in closer and wrapped my unzipped jacket around both of us. I was about to go back to sleep when suddenly she made a little noise. SHit, don't tell me I woke her up!

"You alright?" I whispered, probably sounding a bit too concerned for her to be comfortable.

She looked up at me and smiled, her dazzling eyes staring softly at me. "Yeah." she nodded. "What time is it? I don't wanna miss my phone call." She admitted. Oh right, it's a school day.

"Don't worry. You have prolly another three hours." I assured her. She let out a relieved sigh and raised her head up to kiss me. God, it's so sweet to feel her lips against mine. She's so gentle with it all. She's so warm and comforting. I think... I think I love her.

My smile was hard to hide. I didn't want to hide it from her. I didn't need to hide anything from her. Here she was, expecting me to protect her from the cold and me to hold her from the world, and yet she sees how she saves me. She's perfect.

She rolled over and we started searching for something to watch on tv. It wasn't that we were bored of one another, we just needed some background noise.

I heard a noise. What day is this? He shouldn't be home yet... No wait, Tuesday he gets off at five thirty. No! I should be safe right now! It's too late for him to come home for lunch. What's going on? No, no, NO!!!

"What the fuck are you doing here?" my dad bellowed as he stormed in.

"I should ask you the same!" I said back. Fuck Deryk, what the hell was that? He may be interrupting the first time you've ever felt love since you were seven, but come on, this guy can kick your ass! Calm the fuck down!!! Don't do this Deryk. No, wait, don't do this dad! Shit.

"Who the fuck's that bitch?" he asked, gesturing towards Jaimie.

"Dad! She's a girl, not a bitch, and her name is Jaimie. Care to introduce yourself now?" Fuck, am I even trying to control my mouth? I was instantly regretting everything right after I said it. I regretted correcting him. I regretted bringing her here. I regretted showing her my life. I regretted allowing her to win the arguement in English and not just doing the project by myself. I would give up love if it meant I could save her from this now!

"You don't talk to me like that!" He said, racing towards me and smacking me so hard in the face I fell off the couch. Fuck, he's close to her. Hide Jaimie! Go to my room! Don't see this! Please, and yet all I can do is think. Suddenly I can't speak. Well, I can't say the right things, at least.

"Sorry, dad. It's just I have company over-"

"You have a bitch who was stupid enough to ditch school with you." He yelled and kicked me in the ribs. Oh come on, if you're going to hit someone at least don't hit them in a fresh bruise from yesterday!

"She's not stupid. She's my-" I was cut off by a kick in the face. Then his strong arms lifted me off the ground and he pulled me up to his face.

"What? Your little girlfriend? No one fuckin' loves you, little boy!" He said and threw me against a wall behind me. Where's Jaimie? Did she leave? Is she hiding? I had no time to search for her as my dad started rushing up to me.

"You have an attitude problem." He said, kicking me hard in my side. "You don't do anything right." He continued, smacking me in the face. "You're fuckin' stupid." And a fist landed in my chest. The warm spot where her head had left minutes ago was now full of pain. I thought I heard a crack, but I forced myself to believe it was all in my head. "What the fuck's your problem, you little prick?" He said, lifting me again and pushing me away. God, you ditch one day of school and this is what happens, I guess! No, don't try to make yourself feel good, Deryk. It'll hurt to laugh!

My dad calmed down- well, he left the apartment at least- and slammed his way out the door. I lied on the ground for awhile. Every part of me hurt. That's when I finally heard the stifled sob. "Jaimie?" I asked. I found my strength and stood up. I almost fell instantly- my head was spinning and I was in insane pain.

"Oh my god!" She said as I approached her. "Are you- wait, of course you're not ok!- do you need something?" She asked, trying hard to help even though she knew she couldn't. I shook my head.

"Are you ok? I'm so sorry he said all of that. I should've known bringing you here would end up terribly." I said. Crap, even my voice sounded like I was having trouble breathing and was in pain. She can't think you're hurt. Don't make her worry so much.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just... That was horrible. I mean, I've seen what he's done, but my God, that was painful to watch." She said. "I... I heard something crack. You sure you're ok?" She asked.

"It was prolly just his knuckle or something." I assured her. I knew it wasn't. Fuck, I'm screwed. "I think he's gone for now, if you wanna watch tv." I said.

"How are you so casual about this?" Her eyes were close to another crying fit. Don't do this to me, please!

"It's been my life since I was seven. If I weren't used to it by now, there'd be something wrong with me. If you're alright, I'm alright. It only hurts a little." I said, a slight smile coming across my face. She stared back at me.

"Are you sure?" she asked. I nodded, a look on my face that just screamed confidence and "of course I am", so she believed it for now.