Damn, I Hate You

I ran until I collapsed in the most obvious of places. "Hey, Jaimie?" I said as she picked up her phone. I didn't see any cars in the drive-way, but it was nine-thirty and I didn't want to disturb her sister or anyone else in the house.

"What's up, Deryk?" she asked me excitedly.

"Uh, I'm kinda outside your house right now. Can I come in?" I asked pathetically.

"Of course! I'll be there in a sec." she said and I heard the phone disconnect. In seconds she was in the doorway to hug me. "Come on in." she guided me in after a suffocating hug.

I stepped in and was a little disappointed to find her sister glaring at me from the couch across me in the living room. "What're you doing here?" she asked me, not even looking at Jaimie to see how happy she was to see me.

"Chillin' with your sis. What does it look like I'm doin'?" I asked her. She was honestly the biggest bitch at our school. My reputation made her unhappy to see her; personal experience of her starting a rumor about me getting arrested made me unhappy to see her.

"Why do you hang out with him?" she asked Jaimie, emphasizing the 'him' with venomous hate. I gave her a disgusted look filled with ire.

"Why do you talk shit about people when you can't even fight for yourself? We can do this all night, honey. Don't start." I warned her and Jaimie stepped in front of me.

"Just go to your room, please, Ashley." she ordered.

"No, it's my house, too." she replied like your stereotypical brat.

"Wow, never would've guessed that. I always considered pets as property, not house owners." I said. Ashley stared at me in utter disbelief as I just smiled darkly, knowing damn well I'd hurt her and displaying in every feature of my face that she shouldn't mess with me.

"Ashley, please." Jaimie begged. Then she turned to me. "Try to be nice."

"Alright, alright. But she started it last year when I was absent for a week." I rolled my eyes, remembering all the people who swarmed me after I'd been released from the hospital thinking I had gotten arrested for drugs or violence. What a bitch. Jaimie gave me a knowing look. She understood me on this one. Ashley probably bugged her every minute of her life.

"I'll go to my room, but don't let him touch anything." She warned Jaimie as she stormed up the stairs.

"So what's wrong?" Jaimie asked, leading me towards the couch she had been directed not to let me sit on. I sat on it anyway and began talking.

"Can't I come over here to entertain you? Or does my visit always mean something's wrong? Maybe I just wanted to finish the project?" I distracted her.

"Right. That would explain the backpack." she remarked. Oh yeah, I had forgotten I was wearing that. "You want something to drink?" she asked.

"No, I'm good." I replied and she relaxed on the couch. She leaned over and rested her head on my shoulder.

"Well if you're not going to vent to me, I'm going to go to sleep." she yawned.

"Dude, it's only nine thirty! Are you for real?" I was surprised at this.

"Haha, I haven't been sleeping well. I'm fuckin tired." she said, wrapping her arms around mine and burrowing her head in the space between my neck and my shoulder.

"Where are your parents?" I asked, worried they'd get the wrong idea if they walked in.

"Outta town 'til Sunday morning." she replied. She nuzzled closer into me.

"If you're going to sleep, why don't you change into something more comfortable?" I suggested, noticing she was still wearing jeans and her shoes.

"Because I'm comfortable enough just like this." She looked up for a second and smiled at me. I picked her up and returned us to the position we had been in on my couch just the day before. My arm hung over her but she was hugging it like a teddy bear, so I was leaning a little bit over her. She started playing with my fingers when finally she asked me, "So are you going to tell me what happened?"

I sighed heavily. "I left." was my simple reply.

"Elaborate, please."

"Well, he came home and I was really really calm. I mean, I haven't been that calm since I'd smoked marijuana. Anyways, I'd been listening to some reggae and I was way too chill to care what he was saying when he got home. Sadly, I was also too tired to care to watch my mouth and as a result, he started beating the shit outta me." I began. She gasped and hugged my arm tighter. Strange, you'd think she'd be used to hearing about this.

"Anyways," I continued, "I finally just thought, 'I've beaten up people twice my size before. Why do I take this shit?' and so when he punched me really hard in the stomach, I just lost it. I kicked him in the balls and got him in the face while he was down. I would've beat the crap on him right there and just made him bleed to death so he could feel half as much pain as he's made me feel, but something shocked me into fear. Like, I just got worried that at some point he would flip me or regain control of the fight and kill me or something! So I got up and ran. And I ended up here." I finished. She sat in silence for awhile to digest what she'd heard.

"So you just got scared and stopped?" she asked.

"I know, I know, I don't understand exactly what made me do any of that anyways. I don't know why I started fighting, I don't know why I stopped. All I know is I went ape on his ass and ran out of there." I said. She rolled over to face look at me.

"Honestly, I think it's about time you finally do that." she said, looking at me proudly.

"Huh?"

"Well, you've been suffering this for years. It's about time you show him you can fight back. Maybe now he'll think twice before he does shit." she smiled.

"No! No, you don't get it. Had I continued fighting until some neighbor broke us up or called the cops, it would be one thing. But I chickened out and ran away. Running away proves I'm still a weak defensless little kid. Running away screwed me over. I'm actually scared to go back." I admitted.

"Don't be. Just don't go back." she said, looking at me seriously. "You can stay here with me as long as you need. In fact, stay with me forever. I love you more than he ever could even pretend."

"But.. I don't even know your parents. That's unrealistic, baby." I replied. She's way too optimistic. I wish I were a girl so I could be nearly that hopeful.

"No, it's not. They probably wouldn't even notice. And for all you know, they'd love you anyways."

"Not by the way I just treated your sister. I can't live with her." I groaned.

"She leaves for college next fall. You can survive a year, can't you?" she pleaded. Did she want me escaping my house or me to just be with her forever?

"I dunno. I'll think about it." I replied quietly.

"Think hard." she said, and snuggled back into me, telling me that she was too tired to pursue the conversation. I wrapped my arms around her defensively and pulled my jacket over the two of us as I had done yesterday. Eventually my eyes closed and before I knew it, I was in a sweet, deep, sleep, her safely tucked beneath my arms and me safely in her heart.