Damn, I Hate You

I pulled the poem out of my folder. "So where are we supposed to do this? Like, a podium or do you want us to stand here and act it out or what?" I asked, trying to be serious.

"However you two want to do it is fine." My teacher replied. Oh really helpful. Thank you so much.

"Alright, I guess we'll just stand here and read it." I told Jaimie under my breath.

"Who goes first?" She asked me.

"Follow my lead." I said. "Would You like us to start with a summary of what it's about? Like, the way Shakespear would have a sonnet at the beginning of each act? Or would you prefer we just begin and have the class interpret it?" I asked my teacher again, making the question clear enough for her to give a solid answer to.

"I don't care."

"Well how are you going to grade us? This is important information." I was getting extremely annoyed. Why did Mrs. Rodriguez insist I come?

"I'm just grading the poem. I want you to read it aloud, though." she informed me.

"In that case, I'll just start reading." I said. I lifted my paper and started reading. I was shocked at the reaction to the end of just the first poem. Some people were leaning over their desks trying to get as close as they could as if it would help them understand and love it more. Others were making those cute little "aw" faces as if it were so sweet or something. Then there were the guys who were leaning back and listening. The whole class was intent in listening to the entire story as Jaimie started reading hers.

By the end of the compilation, the entire class was absorbed in my words. Then suddenly everyone started clapping. A couple over-dramatic girls were crying (though I don't know if the tears were real or what) and even a few guys looked touched by it. I smiled a sly little smile to myself and Jaimie gave me a huge smile full of so many different emotions. I guess the poetry made her remember the week and remember us and... wow, did all of this change really occur in just one week?

"Thank you." Mrs. Frankford was trying to hide her emotions as she spoke, not wanting to give me the satisfaction of accomplishment. "You may turn your poems in over there. Now, since they were the only group that didn't present on Friday, it's time to move on to the next unit. ..." I tuned out once she said that. This was complete bullshit! Jaimie and I were the only presenters? I was ready to bet that no one else had presented. It was probably extra credit to do it, now that I thought about it! Damn it. I hate this bitch!

"You're going to be swarmed by fangirls after class." Jaimie whispered to me.

"Yeah, I know." I smiled. "But I always am. Same 'ol, same 'ol." I joked.

"Oh really?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Mhmmm. But it doesn't matter. There's only one girl I'm actually interested in." My smooth talk was getting better and better. Shit, it might over power my shit talk if I don't practice telling people off more. Hmmm. Yet I don't feel mad enough to start an arguement with the teacher. And I don't want to get in more trouble. Then again, it would get me into detention...

Jaimie must've read my mind. "Be good, Deryk. You can talk to Mr. B after school and everything will be better." She reached over and rubbed my hand. I smiled.

"What are you, psychic?" I asked.

"I've seen that look you gave the teacher. Calm your ass down and just go to sleep or something. You look exhausted."

******

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"Go, Deryk." she pushed me towards the detention room once I met her after seventh period.

"Or what?" I said, stopping my feet and leaning all my weight onto her. She pushed as hard as she could to keep the two of us from toppling over.

"Or... I'll never hug you again." She finally said.

"As if you could resist me. You know you love me." I said and leaned harder. She must either be really strong or I'm lighter than I remember, because she's still holding me up!

"I love guys who help themselves." she remarked.

"How about I help myself to some ice-cream instead." I said. Why was I suddenly so scared to do this? I was so ready this morning. School dragged the enthusiasm straight from my soul! Sex Pistols are so right when they say all schools are prisons.

"Do it Deryk. Please!" she begged. I leaned forward and got off of her. She staggerd forward and almost fell over when I suddenly got off of her. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, alright. But only because your a persistant little one." I said and opened the door. Mr. B was just getting up, grabbing his bag and getting ready to leave.

"Hey, glad I caught ya, Mr. B. Uh, I gotta talk to you." I said.

"What's up, Deryk? I missed your company today but I heard you got a day off because you needed to present. How'd that go?" he was making small talk.

"Ugh, it was so annoying. Everyone got so emotional about my poetry, and Jaimie's part only made it more realistic. I swear, everyone's a hopeless loser or romantic in that stupid class." I mocked them.

"Your so harsh. Just because you're so afraid of love and can't accept that other people feel emotion differently-"

"Oh you swear. I wrote it. I think I have an idea about it. They just love drama." I scowled. "Oh, but that's not what I'm here about."

"Ok. What's up?" He leaned against his desk and set his bag down on the floor by his feet. Jaimie was standing against a wall in the back of the class, urging me with her eyes.

"I think you know..." I said, looking up from the ground momentarily.

"You ready for this?" Mr. B. asked.

"Yeah. Mr. B, my dad is... abusive, and I need your help. And I was wondering if you could help me with the legal issues and... become my foster dad?" It came out as a question. I felt like a sissy as tears welled in my eyes. But I didn't care anymore. I was in a room of people who understood me and loved me, and even if there were only two people in it, I was suddenly unafraid to cry or admit all my past.

"Come here." he said and pulled my head into his arms and into his fat stomach. I was heaving but trying to be quiet as the tears rolled down my face. "I'm gonna help you, and if you want, after a year or so, I'll adopt you. I'm happy you finally decided you were ready to tell me, though." he said.

Jaimie came over and patted my back. She was right. I may be crying my eyes out in front of people and I may be in my weakest and most vulnerable state since elementary school, but I could feel already that my world was better.