My Knight in Shining...Ah, Screw It. He's an Egotistical Asshole.
(21) My Knight and Shining...ah, screw it. He's a
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Chapter 21: A Slow Recovery.
Being in that room with Cody, being weak made me flashback to when I was a little girl. I felt in a way, that he was like my dad. But I didn’t understand how people like both of them could seize to exist. If anyone, people like them should be the one’s dying, not little kids like my brother, and cancer patients. Pore innocent souls that didn’t even have a chance at life. How fair is that?
I sat in the shower for a long time. Thought’s like these running through my head. Having drastic, and petrifying things like this that happen to you, makes you think twice about how the world works.
Yes, indeed I was being selfish by pitting myself like so, and sitting in one of the Naughtingham’s showers for hours on end. The party had ended only a few minutes ago though. It wasn’t like everyone was waiting for me to return, and even if they had been, I would have refused to of gone.
And yes, I was sitting in Jacob’s shower, knowing that it was late and I was suppose to be sleeping over with Blaire.
And yes, to let you know, I’m driving my friends crazy by my absence.
I sighed heavily, before I heard the door click. My heart jumped. I had suddenly become more skittish of any quick and unexpected movements. I’m learning slowly to expect the unexpected. I feel like the children from the series of unfortunate events. Because nothing in my life is good, things just keep getting worse for me. But what’s worse is that I’m completely helpless to it, too.
“Hey, you in there Toby?” Blaire’s soft voice came from the toilet seat next to the shower.
“Mhmm.” I mumbled, my throat burning from my current state of depression.
“Alright. Jacob offered us to stay the night here, so you’d feel safer with friends.”
“Max is staying here too… I mean, we’re all really worried about you.”
I almost laughed. I wonder why that would happen? I thought sarcastically.
“Oh. Sorry.” Was all the effort my mind was putting into human conversation.
“Even Adam.” She said, her tone almost perking up a bit from its funeral-like ring.
“Do you need anything what’s so ever, though? It’s killing us to see you like this. You’ve been in there for hours.” I sighed, she was right. I was completely sulking in myself. My hands were turning all prune-y like an old ladies.
I clutched the wet towel I had cried in earlier. I could see the mascara stains scattered across it. I was thankful for the size of the bathtub. It allowed me to lay down in it
“Uhm, clothes? I think I’m….” I hesitated, finalizing my decision. “I think I’m coming out.” I said, gaining the little shreds of composure and strength I had left.
“Oh. Good! I’ll be right back!” Her voice lit up immediately. I smiled to myself half-heartedly; I was lucky to have friends like them. I don’t know what I’d be doing at home right now if that happened. Heck, if that happened, I wouldn’t have even been saved. I had many “thank-you’s” to give out later.
“Here ya go.” She said, as a ‘thunk’ hit the toilet seat.
“I’ll leave you to your privacy.” I heard the door squeeze shut, and I grabbed a fresh towel to dry myself off. Steam covered the shower mirror, and the whole bathroom was humid.
I glanced at the comfortable long, plaid pajama pants on the toilet seat, along with fresh underwear (probably Blaire’s) and a big Cambell High Lacrosse t-shirt. It was most likely Jacobs. Pictures of him flooded through my mind again. He was one person who physically protected me. I’ve never had that before, I’ve had enough emotional support by my mom and her friends to drown in. But no one’s stood up like that. It made me feel less scared near him, because for some reason I was certain that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. I felt pretty safe with the rest, and almost as safe with Max there, but something about Jacob really felt…felt “right” if that makes any since? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, who knows.
I wiped off the mirror, to uncover the fresh bruises forming on my jaw line and arms from Cody. I felt the need to throw my guts up at the memory of it all. I needed to hurry and be with the others so I wouldn’t think about it as much. Other bruises were faintly there as well. A one bigger than my fist on my rib where I broke three of them, by being kicked down the stairs. I also had a scar on the back of my neck that was made when I was thrown through a wall and had to have stitches to heal it.
I sighed tenderly slipping on the articles of clothing Blaire left. I pulled my wet hair, that I ended up washing, into a low ponytail. I took one last look at my teary-eyed reflection, and opened the door to our room. I was shocked at everyone in there. Adam, Max, Blaire, and… Jacob. I tried my best to smile, but I didn’t know if it was more of a disturbed frown. Max, Adam and Blaire had been talking. Max standing in the doorway, Adam on the edge of the bed, and Blaire near the headboard. My eyes looked at Jacob as his slumped figure stayed silent and still in the chair at opposite side of the room.
His knuckles had dried blood on them and his hair was ruffled in a mess. But it was ruffled in a way that he could pull off, and make it completely adorable. His tie was asymmetrical and on either side of his shoulders. I couldn’t see his eyes yet, and quite frankly, I was scared of what I would see. I was scared they’d mirror the pain that was held within my own. All the other’s went silent as I hesitantly sat on the bed.
“Hey.” Everyone said after a while.
“Hey.” I replied, not knowing if I sounded ok or not.
“Thanks for being here for me, you guys.” I said, looking down at my hands, trying to hang on to the thread of strength I had left.
“Anytime, Of course, your welcome.” Adam, Blaire and Max said at the same time. I smiled half-heartedly again.
“You missed out on the rest of the party, we missed you and your awesome dance skills.” Max said, smiling at me. I let a low, incoherent rumble of laughter be heard.
“Yeah. You guys must have been lost without me.” I said, trying to sound like myself again, but I felt more like a stranger than ever. I knew right then, and there it would take me a while to heal from all of this.
The room got quiet again.
“We got rid of Cody for now, but I have no idea if he’s coming back.” Jacob said now, finally picking his head up and scaring me in the process. I didn’t dare look at his face. I was scared to. Besides, his voice was painful enough to understand what he felt.
“Oh. Alright.” I swallowed hard, everyone but him was pretending like tonight never happened.
“Uh…” Blaire paused. “I got my stuff too, so I’ll be sleeping with you in here tonight. I mean, if you want to sleep in here, we could go back home if it makes you feel more comfortable.” She said biting on her cheek, uncomfortably.
“No.” Max and Jacob said at the same time. I looked up and sadly rolled my eyes.
“No, no. It’s alright, I’d feel safer here anyways.” I said, calming the two demanding boys in front of me. Their chest’s heaved down and they sighed, relieved.
“Well.” Adam spoke. “I think I’m hitting the sack. Beating up weird kids tires me out.” I chuckled a little, beginning to feel a tad bit better-not a lot, but yes, better.
“Yeah. I’m going to go finish packing for tomorrow.” Max said, and them two filed out of the room.
It was silent for a moment, before Jacob spoke again; his voice was strained and harsh, cutting to the chase. I felt guilty that by being in here with me, made him so uncomfortable and upset.
“I’m going to sleep outside of your door, I’m not risking something like this happening again.”
I risked a look at his face. But I regretted it immediately. His eyes were glazed and cold. But like a frozen lake, holding all his emotions in place. He was sad, concerned, mad, confused, distraught, guilty, and fearful. All the feelings I didn’t want him to have to feel. I fought the urge to reach out and hug him. The need to comfort him over took the pity on my own self.
“You don’t have to do tha-“ I began.
“I want to.” He interrupted, looking at me as his face went a little soft. Jacob half-heartedly gave me a sideways smile.
“I’ll be fine.” He promised and got up to leave.
“Thanks Jacob.” Blaire said, and I gazed after his retreating figure, daring to use his nickname.
“Yeah, thanks Jake.” His muscles tensed at the sound of my voice using his name, but nonetheless he went across the hall, into his room.
“Well, I’m going to go change in the bathroom. Here’s the remote to the TV. “ Blaire said again in her low voice as she got up to enter the humid bathroom.
I flipped the channel on to vh1 back to the 80’s. It distracted me enough, and I began actually laughing to the funny jokes the comedians were saying about a bunch of 80’s stuff. Jacob appeared in the doorway though, not long after I turned on the TV.
“Hey. Come get me if you need anything, anything whatsoever.” He said, staring at me from where he stood. I gulped being brought to reality and nodded.
“Will Do, thanks Jake.” I said, using his nickname again.
“Anytime Tobbes.” He said, returning the nickname gesture.
He had a pillow and blanket in his hands, as he shut the door behind him.
Blaire came out a moment later with pink boxer shorts on, and a Rolling Stones T-shirt on.
“DUDE! I LOVE THIS SHOW!” She squealed, running and hopping under the covers with me. We watched the show until it ended.
“Ha. So true, they’re so blunt Toby. I just love it.” She said shaking her head in approval. I just laughed at her figure. She was really silly.
“Alright. I’m tired. I think I’m going to head to sleep.” I said, shifting under the warm covers, and laying my head on the pillow.
“Ok. Wake me if you’re scared or something, because I honestly don’t mind.” She said, flipping through the channels again. I nodded and closed my eyes, praying that I wouldn’t relive the memories of tonight.
But of course I was wrong.
I was running down a street and Cody was in a car chasing me. I was just walking home from a school play that had been put on by my class in Theater. I could hear his sadistic laughing as my sides ached in pain. I gasped for breath, running for the monstrous house at the end of the street. Knowing that if I could just make it there, that Jacob would protect me. I heaved as I ran. The house seemed to be retreating the closer I got. I began to feel wet tears spill from my eyes, as the engine to the dreaded car became louder in my ears. I fell to the ground as headlights came rushing to my head. I screamed bloody murder, scared of what demise may lie ahead for me.
HERES THE LINK! http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd97/cccnala/selenalucas.jpg
=]]]]]]] yayyyy. thanks to all of you that comment & subscribe & read (of course) & rate.
I LOVE YOU GUYS.
**Please check out my new POEMS! <33
Chapter 21: A Slow Recovery.
Being in that room with Cody, being weak made me flashback to when I was a little girl. I felt in a way, that he was like my dad. But I didn’t understand how people like both of them could seize to exist. If anyone, people like them should be the one’s dying, not little kids like my brother, and cancer patients. Pore innocent souls that didn’t even have a chance at life. How fair is that?
I sat in the shower for a long time. Thought’s like these running through my head. Having drastic, and petrifying things like this that happen to you, makes you think twice about how the world works.
Yes, indeed I was being selfish by pitting myself like so, and sitting in one of the Naughtingham’s showers for hours on end. The party had ended only a few minutes ago though. It wasn’t like everyone was waiting for me to return, and even if they had been, I would have refused to of gone.
And yes, I was sitting in Jacob’s shower, knowing that it was late and I was suppose to be sleeping over with Blaire.
And yes, to let you know, I’m driving my friends crazy by my absence.
I sighed heavily, before I heard the door click. My heart jumped. I had suddenly become more skittish of any quick and unexpected movements. I’m learning slowly to expect the unexpected. I feel like the children from the series of unfortunate events. Because nothing in my life is good, things just keep getting worse for me. But what’s worse is that I’m completely helpless to it, too.
“Hey, you in there Toby?” Blaire’s soft voice came from the toilet seat next to the shower.
“Mhmm.” I mumbled, my throat burning from my current state of depression.
“Alright. Jacob offered us to stay the night here, so you’d feel safer with friends.”
“Max is staying here too… I mean, we’re all really worried about you.”
I almost laughed. I wonder why that would happen? I thought sarcastically.
“Oh. Sorry.” Was all the effort my mind was putting into human conversation.
“Even Adam.” She said, her tone almost perking up a bit from its funeral-like ring.
“Do you need anything what’s so ever, though? It’s killing us to see you like this. You’ve been in there for hours.” I sighed, she was right. I was completely sulking in myself. My hands were turning all prune-y like an old ladies.
I clutched the wet towel I had cried in earlier. I could see the mascara stains scattered across it. I was thankful for the size of the bathtub. It allowed me to lay down in it
“Uhm, clothes? I think I’m….” I hesitated, finalizing my decision. “I think I’m coming out.” I said, gaining the little shreds of composure and strength I had left.
“Oh. Good! I’ll be right back!” Her voice lit up immediately. I smiled to myself half-heartedly; I was lucky to have friends like them. I don’t know what I’d be doing at home right now if that happened. Heck, if that happened, I wouldn’t have even been saved. I had many “thank-you’s” to give out later.
“Here ya go.” She said, as a ‘thunk’ hit the toilet seat.
“I’ll leave you to your privacy.” I heard the door squeeze shut, and I grabbed a fresh towel to dry myself off. Steam covered the shower mirror, and the whole bathroom was humid.
I glanced at the comfortable long, plaid pajama pants on the toilet seat, along with fresh underwear (probably Blaire’s) and a big Cambell High Lacrosse t-shirt. It was most likely Jacobs. Pictures of him flooded through my mind again. He was one person who physically protected me. I’ve never had that before, I’ve had enough emotional support by my mom and her friends to drown in. But no one’s stood up like that. It made me feel less scared near him, because for some reason I was certain that he wouldn’t let anyone hurt me. I felt pretty safe with the rest, and almost as safe with Max there, but something about Jacob really felt…felt “right” if that makes any since? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t, who knows.
I wiped off the mirror, to uncover the fresh bruises forming on my jaw line and arms from Cody. I felt the need to throw my guts up at the memory of it all. I needed to hurry and be with the others so I wouldn’t think about it as much. Other bruises were faintly there as well. A one bigger than my fist on my rib where I broke three of them, by being kicked down the stairs. I also had a scar on the back of my neck that was made when I was thrown through a wall and had to have stitches to heal it.
I sighed tenderly slipping on the articles of clothing Blaire left. I pulled my wet hair, that I ended up washing, into a low ponytail. I took one last look at my teary-eyed reflection, and opened the door to our room. I was shocked at everyone in there. Adam, Max, Blaire, and… Jacob. I tried my best to smile, but I didn’t know if it was more of a disturbed frown. Max, Adam and Blaire had been talking. Max standing in the doorway, Adam on the edge of the bed, and Blaire near the headboard. My eyes looked at Jacob as his slumped figure stayed silent and still in the chair at opposite side of the room.
His knuckles had dried blood on them and his hair was ruffled in a mess. But it was ruffled in a way that he could pull off, and make it completely adorable. His tie was asymmetrical and on either side of his shoulders. I couldn’t see his eyes yet, and quite frankly, I was scared of what I would see. I was scared they’d mirror the pain that was held within my own. All the other’s went silent as I hesitantly sat on the bed.
“Hey.” Everyone said after a while.
“Hey.” I replied, not knowing if I sounded ok or not.
“Thanks for being here for me, you guys.” I said, looking down at my hands, trying to hang on to the thread of strength I had left.
“Anytime, Of course, your welcome.” Adam, Blaire and Max said at the same time. I smiled half-heartedly again.
“You missed out on the rest of the party, we missed you and your awesome dance skills.” Max said, smiling at me. I let a low, incoherent rumble of laughter be heard.
“Yeah. You guys must have been lost without me.” I said, trying to sound like myself again, but I felt more like a stranger than ever. I knew right then, and there it would take me a while to heal from all of this.
The room got quiet again.
“We got rid of Cody for now, but I have no idea if he’s coming back.” Jacob said now, finally picking his head up and scaring me in the process. I didn’t dare look at his face. I was scared to. Besides, his voice was painful enough to understand what he felt.
“Oh. Alright.” I swallowed hard, everyone but him was pretending like tonight never happened.
“Uh…” Blaire paused. “I got my stuff too, so I’ll be sleeping with you in here tonight. I mean, if you want to sleep in here, we could go back home if it makes you feel more comfortable.” She said biting on her cheek, uncomfortably.
“No.” Max and Jacob said at the same time. I looked up and sadly rolled my eyes.
“No, no. It’s alright, I’d feel safer here anyways.” I said, calming the two demanding boys in front of me. Their chest’s heaved down and they sighed, relieved.
“Well.” Adam spoke. “I think I’m hitting the sack. Beating up weird kids tires me out.” I chuckled a little, beginning to feel a tad bit better-not a lot, but yes, better.
“Yeah. I’m going to go finish packing for tomorrow.” Max said, and them two filed out of the room.
It was silent for a moment, before Jacob spoke again; his voice was strained and harsh, cutting to the chase. I felt guilty that by being in here with me, made him so uncomfortable and upset.
“I’m going to sleep outside of your door, I’m not risking something like this happening again.”
I risked a look at his face. But I regretted it immediately. His eyes were glazed and cold. But like a frozen lake, holding all his emotions in place. He was sad, concerned, mad, confused, distraught, guilty, and fearful. All the feelings I didn’t want him to have to feel. I fought the urge to reach out and hug him. The need to comfort him over took the pity on my own self.
“You don’t have to do tha-“ I began.
“I want to.” He interrupted, looking at me as his face went a little soft. Jacob half-heartedly gave me a sideways smile.
“I’ll be fine.” He promised and got up to leave.
“Thanks Jacob.” Blaire said, and I gazed after his retreating figure, daring to use his nickname.
“Yeah, thanks Jake.” His muscles tensed at the sound of my voice using his name, but nonetheless he went across the hall, into his room.
“Well, I’m going to go change in the bathroom. Here’s the remote to the TV. “ Blaire said again in her low voice as she got up to enter the humid bathroom.
I flipped the channel on to vh1 back to the 80’s. It distracted me enough, and I began actually laughing to the funny jokes the comedians were saying about a bunch of 80’s stuff. Jacob appeared in the doorway though, not long after I turned on the TV.
“Hey. Come get me if you need anything, anything whatsoever.” He said, staring at me from where he stood. I gulped being brought to reality and nodded.
“Will Do, thanks Jake.” I said, using his nickname again.
“Anytime Tobbes.” He said, returning the nickname gesture.
He had a pillow and blanket in his hands, as he shut the door behind him.
Blaire came out a moment later with pink boxer shorts on, and a Rolling Stones T-shirt on.
“DUDE! I LOVE THIS SHOW!” She squealed, running and hopping under the covers with me. We watched the show until it ended.
“Ha. So true, they’re so blunt Toby. I just love it.” She said shaking her head in approval. I just laughed at her figure. She was really silly.
“Alright. I’m tired. I think I’m going to head to sleep.” I said, shifting under the warm covers, and laying my head on the pillow.
“Ok. Wake me if you’re scared or something, because I honestly don’t mind.” She said, flipping through the channels again. I nodded and closed my eyes, praying that I wouldn’t relive the memories of tonight.
But of course I was wrong.
I was running down a street and Cody was in a car chasing me. I was just walking home from a school play that had been put on by my class in Theater. I could hear his sadistic laughing as my sides ached in pain. I gasped for breath, running for the monstrous house at the end of the street. Knowing that if I could just make it there, that Jacob would protect me. I heaved as I ran. The house seemed to be retreating the closer I got. I began to feel wet tears spill from my eyes, as the engine to the dreaded car became louder in my ears. I fell to the ground as headlights came rushing to my head. I screamed bloody murder, scared of what demise may lie ahead for me.