My Knight in Shining...Ah, Screw It. He's an Egotistical Asshole.

“Give that back. The deal is off.” I roared at Cody.

“Bro, are you kidding me right now? You don’t even have to convince Jacob or Toby anymore. All you need to do is blackmail her into loving you.”

“Or me…” I thought I heard him say.

“No. I’m not going to blackmail her, and I’m not going to let you do it either.”

“Your right, she’s too feisty to blackmail, it would end up bad. She’s got to be convinced that Jake doesn’t love her anymore.”

“What? No. You obviously don’t listen. Did you not hear me just say that the plan isn’t set anymore, its done, finoshto, complete. No more.” I spat, all my anger that was once pointed towards my cousin, now redirected to Cody.

“Then I’ll just have to mail this letter to child services.”

I felt my knees go weak, threatening to give out.

“E-excuse me?” I said, turning back around and looking him dead in the eyes. Triumph was easily portrayed along with a impermeable smirk across his lips.

“I made copies, and if you don’t continue with the plan, then I WILL mail them. Kepis?”

I didn’t know how to respond to that. How does one respond to that?

“You… fucking asshole, you’re going to blackmail me into hurting my best friend on purpose!??”

“I believe that’s correct. I texted Jacob saying that you would let him see Toby’s paper if he came over. Now you better cooperate, because I’ll be close by, and if Jacob doesn’t storm out of the house sad, and pissed off, then I’m mailing that letter, and the whole school will know about her pore past, including Jacob. Then she’d know that it was all your fault, because you set up the assignment, and you didn’t discretely handle the paper like you said it would.”

His smile was like a rip to my heart. How could he WANT to bring pain to the girl he supposedly ‘loved’? I should have never gotten involved with this.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. I hesitated, not knowing what to do, but then I knew it was final, I couldn’t risk anyone finding out like that. She’d understand that I did it for her, wouldn’t she? I gulped as Cody snuck out the back door. I made my way to the computer, and scanned the paper’s in. I switched some pronouns and the names, putting Jacob in her hate note, and me in the loved one. Like I had originally thought up.

The doorbell rang annoyed a few more times. I swallowed the last time as an innocent, what I was doing was a sin. The biggest sin I had ever committed.

Jacob’s POV.

Max’s text pissed me off. He was probably going all googily-eyed over Toby’s letter, wishing it were him. I knew it wasn’t though, the way she had teased me in History made me almost certain that it was me.

He answered, looking kind of pale.

“You ok?” I asked. He shook his head, sorrow and regret across his features.

“Yeah. You uh… want that paper?” I was expecting him to be a little bit more jerkish.

“Yeah. Thanks.” I said waiting in the hallway of the familiar home that belonged to my aunt and uncle.

He came back with a plain sheet of paper. I could see the led words on the paper glimmer under the light. Sweet words, written to me… by the one girl I have truly learned to love.

“I hate for you to find out this way…” He paused, as if fighting with himself.

“But as my cousin, I felt like you should know her true feelings.”

What the F*ck did that mean!?

I snatched the paper from his hands.

My heart bursted in my chest, my breathing haulted to a stop. I had never been in so much pain in my whole life. That was her handwriting… and every word on it was directed towards Max. It even said how she adored his black shimmering locks. Not blonde, not even brown. Black.

That’s what she was hiding all along. That she didn’t love me. That’s why she had had so much trouble telling me she did. Because she didn’t. She loved him, my cousin. He was the reason she had become so distant from me.

How could I have been fooled so long? I felt tears rim the corners of my eyes. I wanted to die. The pain tearing at my skin was killing me, slowly. The pain was nerve-damaging.

I gasped for breath. As Max put a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry…” He apologized.

“I DON’T WANT YOUR FUCKING SYMPATHY!” I roared, because nothing he could say or do would change the way I felt about him now. He was dead to me. She was dead to me. They could both go jump off the empire state building. I would feel no sorrow.

Believe me when I tell you this: Love isn’t worth shit.

I threw the paper in his face and stormed out of the house that once held family. But only reminded me of the destructing betrayal and all the pain that goes along with it.

How would I face her now?

I wouldn’t. She would become nothing to me now. I could care less about her.

But the truth was, that that was a lie. She would never be dead to me, because I still had these immense feelings for her. That was why this pain was here.

If I didn’t care anymore this heart would be healed. But because I loved her, I would suffer… and suffer… and suffer.

I stormed through my house, dodging questions from the staff, knowing my parents were working. I threw everything on the floor in my room.

Everything, until I was exhausted and the only thing left was desperation and sorrow to devour me. I cried. For the first time in my life. I cried, and it was because of a girl.

Toby’s POV.

I woke up that morning ready for the day. My mom gushed to me all about how great her date had gone on the car ride home. I laughed, coming down the stairs.

My mom was wearing her fuzzy pink slippers with toe-socks and her black silk pj pants, with her teenage mutant ninja turtle shirt on.

She only did this when she was really happy. I was glad, because I was happy for her.

“So I guess this means that you’ll be going to work a little earlier this morning?”

“OH TOBY! He was so charming, and so funny. You would really like him. He’s so great. He completely understands how it is to raise a girl too.”

I looked at her, holding in my laughter. She was reacting how I would to a boy.

“Love-struck much?”

“Why not? Love is great.”

I couldn’t disagree with that. It was great, superfantastic, amazing, gorgeous, dreamy. Well… you get the picture.

I looked at the time while mom was getting ready.

7:35 AM.

Hm.. five minutes late? That wasn’t like Jake. He was either really early, or right on time.

I walked outside, waiting for him by the side of the road. A few minutes later my mom came outside ready for work

“Jake giving you a ride to school?”

“Yea, he should be here any second. He probably just woke up late or something.” I yelled back.

She got into her red jeep. She had put lipstick on this morning. Now that she had a new fling, she was dressing fancier every morning.

She pulled out of the driveway and rolled down her window.

“You sure?” She hesitated. I just gave her a reassuring smile.

“Yes mom. Now go, you don’t want Mr. Davis having to call you to his office.” I winked.

Her eyes went wide. “TOBY! At work it’s strictly professional.” She scolded.

“Oh, of course…of course.” I joked.

She only ‘humphed’ and waved me goodbye as she drove off.

I pulled out my chell phone and checked the time

8:25 AM

Great I was late for school. Where the hell was Jake?

I hope nothing bad happened to him….

My gut seized at the thought of that but I brushed it off.

After it hit me that he wasn’t going to pick me up, and I as of right now, had no ride to school, I walked towards downtown to hitch a ride on the community bus.

It’s times like these I wish I owned a car.

FML.

I walked, and walked…. And walked. When was downtown this far!?

My feet ached by the time I got down there, my head throbbed from all the thinking it was doing, and I felt very, very fatigued.

Then I had to sit on a stinky street bench for twenty minutes, waiting for my ride.

So saying that I was pissed was an understatement. What… was he on his man period or something?

Oh was he going to get it when I got to school.

I sat in the only seat that didn’t have an occupant, because honestly… would you want to sit next to some random hobo? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Anger boiled in me. I couldn’t wait till I got to school.

I pulled out my phone, selected the ‘bf’ contact, and started typing.

“Where the hell are you? I had to walk to a bus station to get to school, couldn’t you have warned me or something?”

I texted.

I put the phone in the empty spot next to me. Only a few seconds later, it buzzed.

I checked it a little worried myself for the reason to why he had an abrupt absence.

“I’M SORRY THE NUMBER YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH, HAS YOU ON THEIR BLOCK LIST. YOU MAY NOT CONTACT THEM AT THIS TIME.”

It was from the cell phone company.

He blocked me!? WTF is going on here???

I stormed through the doorways of the old brick building. I took a left, then a right, and another left, knowing Jacob’s locker was getting closer and closer, and I would plop my little butt beside it, until he came and talked to me.

But when I rounded the corner I bumped into a familiar black head.

Max.

“Sorry Max. Let me get those papers for you.” I said reaching down to grab the papers he had dropped on the floor.

“Uh… I don’t-Toby WAIT!” He shouted, but it was too late.

I had read all that the paper showed. It was Jake’s letter he had written, but I couldn’t deny the pain in my chest as I read the letter.

Such deep feelings, intamite and desperate feelings towards…

Bridgette.

I started to cry, right there in front of Max, and in front of the whole school. I’ve never cried in front of people before. Especially not because I just read some stupid love note.

That wasn’t directed towards me…

I couldn’t help but repeat that sentence in my head.

Everything he felt had been a lie. Max had been right about him the whole time. He was a womanizer, and that’s all that he was good for. Stupid heartbreaking, love-using, life-wasting, egotistical ASSHOLE!!!

I punched the wall when I was safely in the girl’s bathroom, making my fists bleed. The crying had only gotten worse. My vision became blurry; full of tears.

The throbbing in my hand took some of the emotional pain away, but the truth was that my soul was breaking apart. One square centimeter by the next, and the worst thing was that I could feel every bit of it doing so.

He had been so convincing, how could I not have known. The way he didn’t mind Bridgette flirting with him, or coming up to him in the hallways.

Who was I kidding; he probably needed her rich silicon ass for the image. He needed people to know that he was dating someone just as rich and stupid as he was.

But no matter what I did, no matter if I broke my fist or not.

The truth was that I had let him trick me, I let him love me, and returned that same love- but obviously, I ACTUALLY MEANT IT.

When had I let my guard down? When had I learned to trust someone other than my mom?

But most importantly:

When had I fallen so hard?