My Knight in Shining...Ah, Screw It. He's an Egotistical Asshole.

The rest of the day was a blur. I couldn’t even find it in me to tell Blaire all that had happened. It was almost as if my brain were refusing to comprehend it all.

I couldn’t help but wonder if that was normal? Normal for people to be in love, and reject the thought of being rejected. Ironic, wasn’t it?

I could feel Jake’s presents in History. To think the one who had stolen my heart and crushed it eternally, was only a few feet away.

Max was silent as well, except for every once and a while when he would shoot be sympathetic, and apologetic glances. But none of this was his fault; he didn’t make Jake love Bridgette.

I pushed him away. I couldn’t just suck it up and tell him how I felt all along; maybe he liked the type of girl whom would throw themselves at him.

But… would I change for him?

As much as I wanted him back. I needed my dignity. That’s one thing a Montgomery girl always kept close to heart. Her dignity, and changing myself just for him to fall in love with me would be pointless.

Of course I came close to tears many a time. But I bit my lip painfully until the tears went away.

Pain seemed to help in these situations. I didn’t end up breaking my knuckles, which I suppose was a good thing. I did have to wash them off in the bathroom and wait for the bleeding to subside though.

Everything was so much harder. The saying ‘you don’t know what you’ve got till its gone’ never really registered to me until now.

I felt like a part of me was missing. As if Swiper the Fox from Dora The Explorer took it, and I can’t find it.

It completely sucks.

It felt like I was being enslaved all day. It just didn’t feel right, not being able to talk to Jak- Jacob every other second. A part of me didn’t want to, for I was mad at him for using me. But the other was limp with hunger.

Hunger for his laugh, his smile, the feeling of him kissing me, the feeling of his skin against mine. Everything about him.

I just lolly-gagged to the bus. Actually excited to be able to go home and cry.

I plopped down in the seat, shuffling so I would be able to look out the window. I could see Jake laughing and talking to Demitri, Kevin… and Bridgette. I gulped.

He had already moved on that fast?

I felt the seat sink in beside me.

I lazily turned to see Max sit beside me. He probably read the letter too. Now he was here to feed me some pore pitty speech, on how there are ‘plenty of fish in the sea’. Like I needed that. All the other’s were meesily crawfish, while Jacob was a prize Bass.

Nothing else would do, because nothing else could compare.

“Look… Toby I’m sorry about Jacob and you.” I rolled my eyes, here it goes.

“It’s fine. It’s not like it was your fault.”

I heard him gulp loudly. “Yeah. Not my fault…” He trailed off.

“Hello love. So sorry about the news.” I stiffened at the sound of Cody’s voice.

“H-how did you find out?”

“Everyone knows how he betrayed you. Looks like everyone saw it coming but you.” The look on his face made me sick. It was that pitiful look, when you feel sorry for someone. A look I tried to avoid my whole life.

“Shut the hell up Cody!” Max yelled, and it surprised me. I expected him to be right there with Cody… pitying me.

“Uh-uh Maximillion. We wouldn’t want to do something so rash now would we?” His voice threatening. Max just rolled his eyes, and sat still.

“I’m sorry.” He said to me, but at this point I was confused. Why was Max sorry, and why was Cody threatening him?

I didn’t know.

When I got home, I was thankful to see my mom’s car there. I ran inside, breaking down crying.

I heard her high heels click on the floor.

“BABY! What’s wrong!?” The horror in her voice was easy to detect.

“J-Jacob p-played me. He d-doesn’t l-l-l-love me like I t-thought!” I said between sob’s.

“Oh… my honeybee’s first heartbreak.” She cradled me there on the floor, letting me cry into her shoulders. This was normal for us. We were tough around everyone else, but once we were alone, we were normal… weak, heartbroken girls.

My mom didn’t push me for questions that night. She just let me cry in her arms, whispering sweet things such as ‘it’s ok.’ And ‘you’ll get through this’. It faintly reminded me that night with Jak-Jacob, and it only made me want to cry harder.

I fell asleep crying that night.

A few weeks had gone by. But the worst part was that the pain never went away. I never got that missing part of me back.

The first time Jake actually said hi to me was incredibly painful, because I couldn’t just reject it anymore. The sight of him so close made me weak. Although it was just an “Hi, excuse me.” While he passed I felt emotions pour out of me.

I felt the same-mirrored pain in his eyes, but I could have mistaken his pain for pity. Pity… why was I so scared of that?

My mom had raised me to fear pity, because it was a breaking point to losing your dignity, having people look poorly upon you.

I had to tell Blaire eventually, and she threatened to cut off his ball sack, but I told her that it wasn’t worth it. Because as much as I hated the thought of him with Bridgette… I just wanted him to be happy.

I guess your partner’s happiness is the only thing that matters to you once you’ve fallen in love. Especially as hard as I did.

Sucks. Because after all the heartbreak I’ve gone through, he should lose much more than just his ball sack.

Max and I had been talking more. He was very comforting. A really good friend; we even went on our first date. I made sure he understood that I wasn’t ready to go any further than a friendly… FRIENDSHIP.

The days were coming near to the end of the semester, and therefore, our theater play. I usually refused to practice it on stage with him. He didn’t complain or celebrate it at all. He was simply unemotional around me.

I was still debating whether or not I would continue, and do the play on stage with him. The romantic lines, the fake smiles, and the… kissing scene.

I was currently sitting a seat near the back of the theater room, watching Demitri and another girl from our class act out their part of the play.

“We only have three more days until the play people. I need you to give your best efforts.”

He paused.

“Tabitha… are you going to participate in the play? If you don’t you will get a D for the semester…”

Well that sucked.

“Can’t I get a differen’t part… in the play that is?” I asked, hesitantly.

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST DO WHAT A NICE GUY WANTS YOU TO DO?”

“OR DO YOU NOT CARE HOW OTHER PEOPLE FEEL!?” Jacob exploded. Coming towards me at the opposite end of the Theater.

Yeah, that’s right, we sit on opposite ends now.

You’d think I’d be upset, close to tears, but no.

I was pissed. He had the fucking nerve to yell at me after HE was the one who played me like a rag doll? Really…? That was the last straw.

“NO, UNLIKE YOU. I DO CARE HOW PEOPLE FEEL. NOT THAT MY PART IN THE PLAY WOULD MATTER! WHY DON’T YOU GET BITCHETTE TO PLAY JULIET, HUH!??” I screamed back, walking towards him as well, so that we met in the center of the theater.

Bridgette’s face kept flashing from happiness, to hopefulness to shock to amusement.

“Yeah, Jakey I’d love to-.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!” I screamed. She fell out of her chair in fear. Any other time I would have laughed my freaking socks off, but I wasn’t really in the mood.

Jake’s stance did not falter as I cussed out his little girlfriend.

“YOU’RE THE ONE TO BE TALKING TOBY, WHY DON’T YOU GET MAX TO KISS THOSE SOFT LIPS OF YOURS!?” He thinks I have soft lips…? No. Bad brain. Don’t think these things, you and him are OVER.

“WELL AT LEAST HE’D BE TRUE TO HIS FEELINGS!”

“WELL GOOD. I’M GLAD YOU ACTUALLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO WOULDN’T KEEP THEIR DISTANCE AND NOT TELL YOU THINGS!”

I didn’t know why I did it but I did.

I slapped him across the face.

The whole class sucked in their breath and went silent.

All that kept running through my head was: you just slapped him… you just slapped the only guy you’ve ever loved across the freaking FACE!

But it was worth it. At least I didn’t do what Blaire suggested and cut off his ball sack. Bastard should consider himself lucky.

“Tabitha… principles office.” Mr. M instructed.

“Gladly… “I whispered hatefully into Jake’s face. He was holding the spot where my hand had forcefully made contact with his cheek. I could see the edges turning red.

His eyes held multiple emotions though. Hurt, remorse, regret, pain, longing? I didn’t know. All I knew is that I was starting to feel bad that I slapped him. Which was stupid, because that’s what a weak girl does. But Tabitha Montgomery wasn’t a weak girl.

I sat in the waiting area, until I was called into the unfamiliar gray office.

“Sit.” The principle instructed. He was an aging man that I heard use to be a teacher at the school. His hair was graying, and he had a glare permanently attached to his face.

“I do not tolerate such behavior as slapping a fellow classmate in the face.”

“BUT HE DESURVED IT, HE YELLED AT ME AND CHEATED ON ME!” I protested.

“I do not care. You do not hit another classmate, male or female. Boyfriend, or brother.”

“I will have to suspend you for you-.”

“Wait.” I heard a familiar voice call out.

What was HE doing here?

“Yes Mr. Naughtingham?” The principle’s glare suddenly changed.

Into a flipping smile. He smiled for the enemy.

This would happen to me.

“I don’t feel like you should suspend Toby. Is there any other punishment we could be given?” He… defended me? Again. Didn’t you have… CARE about the person in order to do that?

Whoa. Deja’vu.

He also said ‘we’ as in him and me. He wasn’t being a selfish, cold-hearted emotional reject!

BAD BRAIN! STOP FORGIVING THE ENEMY!

This inner conflict is becoming rather annoying.

“I suppose that your punishment is to be forced to complete the play as the parts your were assigned, and GET ALONG!” The old man scolded.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. His glare returned before looking at me.

“If you do not attend, in a peaceful manner Ms. Montgomery, I will be forced to suspend you.”

This. Was. So. Unfair.

I nodded. “Ok. May I be excused?” I asked in the politest manner I could manage at the moment.

“Yes, you may.” At that note I got up out of the office chair and stormed out towards the parking lot.

Great, tinfoil man made me late for my bus.

Egotistical Asshole.