My Knight in Shining...Ah, Screw It. He's an Egotistical Asshole.

“Toby.” I felt his voice yell behind me.

“We need to talk.” The same voice spoke again.

“No, we actually don’t.” I replied to its soft melody.

“Did you feel that, back there?” He would not just shut up. Hearing him talk, and liking the way it sounded was painful enough.

“I felt annoyance, and that was it. In fact… yep, it’s still there I think….” I paused, “Yep, hasn’t left.” I said in an angry voice.

“Listen, I know I’m not Max, but you had to feel the electricity between us.” I did feel electricity, but what was he talking about with Max? Don’t tell me he’s being a hypocrite. He dumped me for some other girl, and he’s still pissed I hang out with Max?

Pfffff. I was wrong, he isn’t just an egotistical asshole; he’s an EXTREMELY egotistical asshole.

I took a different route to History, having learned the school by now. I took the busiest hallways, to weave in and out of the crowd, avoiding any further conversations with Jake. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. I kept wanting to be hopeful. He had acted like he cared back there…

What am I saying? If I give in now, it’s like I’m flashing a big bright sign saying: I’M A SUCKER FOR WOMANIZER’S, COME AND BREAK MY HEART AGAIN.

And that’s obviously not what I want. I sat down in my seat and took deep breaths.

“You ok? You look kind of flushed.” Blaire stated as she pulled her binder out of her book bag.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” For now… I thought. Knowing my heart would win again, and I’d eventually get heartbroken… again.

The whole day was a drag, and not only that but I had to constantly avoid Jacob, fearing another awkward conversation that might fight it’s way back into our mists.

Does that really suck, or is it just me? Even AFTER heartbreak, you still have to put forth the effort to avoid the jerk that broke your heart to begin with.

I met Blaire at the parking lot.

“You wouldn’t believe what happened today.” I told her.

“What is that?” She said, unlocking the car door.

“Jacob tried to… I don’t know what you’d call it. I mean he just tried to convince me, maybe?”

“Explain.” She instructed.

“I don’t know, well you know I’m in Theater class right?”

“Yeah, I’m coming to your play tonight.” She said, putting her sunglasses on and smiling at me.

“Oh, thanks. Yeah, I’m Juliet, and guess who’s Romeo.”

“NO WAY!” She said, coming to realization at how terrible

“Yes way, and we had to rehearse, and do the kissing scene today.”

“So. How’d it go?” She pressed.

“I don’t know. I just pecked him really fast. I was scared that it would hurt if it lasted any longer.”

“So. He talked to you after that? What’d he say?”

“He asked if I had felt anything back there. If I felt the electricity in the kiss…” I trailed off.

“Whoa. Why’d he say that? That’s so giving you the wrong signals if he’s still into Bitchette.”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought. But what if it’s another scheme, and it ends with another heartbreak. It’s like, why risk it?”

“I agree. But sometimes… it’s worth the risk.”

Whoa. She was right. What if it was worth the risk?

I mean hadn’t he said something about Max? What was that all about?

Ugh. Unanswered questions suck meatballs.

“So what time’s the play start?” Blaire asked, thankfully changing the subject, my head was hurting from thinking.

“8:00. But I have to be there at 7:30.”

“Oh, do you need me to drive you?”

“If you don’t mind…” I smiled innocently.

“Alright. Just be ready on time.” She said, reluctantly.

JACOBS POV

These thoughts would be the death of me. She was everywhere I went, in my head.

The moment our lips touched again, I felt like everything that had been missing was back again. With a more intense effect on me, because all I wanted to do, was scoop her up and never let go.

What did Max have that I didn’t?

These past few weeks have been torture. No one could replace Toby. I didn’t even have the need to have sex with random girls anymore. To me, they were all disgusting. Couldn’t she see what she’s done to me? And the worst part is that she hasn’t even talked to me about it. Not even an ‘I’m sorry I broke your heart” or anything. It was horrible.

Every time I would hear that her and Max went on another date, it was like a pile of bricks being dropped on my head. It was like a grenade in the heart, and time bomb eating me away.

I had to confront her about it, and after she avoided me at school, I knew that before we went on stage, I would tell her how I felt, and ask her why she didn’t feel the same way.

That was the plan, and it was going to work.

TOBY’S POV.

“Ouch.” I whined, as my mom pulled my hair up in a tight bun (http://www.primped.com.au/images/uploads/primped_loves/loosebuns/84313624_Detail.jpg)

“Hold still I need to hairspray it.” She scolded as I had a sudden urge to scratch my scalp.

“There, all done.” She said finally.

“You look beautiful.” I grabbed the little desk mirror in Blaire’s room, to look at what she had done.

Wow. I looked strange- in a good way… I think.

It wasn’t like how Blaire had done it, all dark and sexy.

It looked natural and pretty with red lipstick.

Juliet would be rolling over in her grave if she saw how fresh I look.

“Whoa baby, your hott.” Blaire said, coming into the room.

“Thanks?” I cocked an eyebrow. They were both looking at me with a weird sparkle in their eyes.

“GOSH! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU PREFORM!” My mom beamed.

“Remember, you guys get there at 8:00.” I said, gathering my purse and stuff I might need for the play.

“We will be there.”

“You ready to go?” Blaire asked, slipping on her sandals.

“Mhmm.” I nodded, and followed her downstairs. She grabbed a bag of gummy worms before heading to the car.

I just gave her a skeptical look.

“What? I’m hungry.” She defended.

I just rolled my eyes and laughed at her.

****

I gulped as we pulled up to the back parking lot- the one closest to the Theater room. Hardly anyone was parked back here. It was all dark and creepy and stuff.

Blaire shut off the car, and we got out.

“You excited?”

“This is your big break… like your Miley Cyrus, or even SELENA GOMEZ!” She beamed.

Weird, I always thought I looked nothing like Selena. (teehee, I thought that part was funny, anyways…)

“Yeah, I bet they didn’t have to put up with jerk-faces like Jacob though.”

“Well, I don’t know, they had that whole shi-bang over Nick Jonas…” She trailed off, thinking.

“… Ok. You know what, never mind.” I said, sick of how the subject kept lingering on all of those Disney Channel stars.

“Anyhoo. I have a pocketknife. So the cutting-off-his-ball-sack option can still be a go.” She said, feeling her front pocket, and smiling.

“We’ll see how tonight goes, ok?” I asked

She grinned. “As long as you’re considering it, I’m happy.”

We opened the doors and the warmth inside felt good, considering it was the middle of September and it was kind of getting cold outside.

“Tabitha! I’m so glad you’re here!” Mr. M said, smiling and opening his arms as if inviting me to a hug.

I just stared at there opening length as if he were crazy.

His eyebrows furrowed and he put his arms down.

“Tabitha?” Blaire whispered beside me, in a confused tone.

“Don’t ask.” I replied.

I said goodbye to Blaire, as Mr. M asked her to help student council give out pamphlets for the audience, as they came in. Faculty had to work late anyways, so some familiar faces came in, like our math teacher, and our sports medicine teacher and such.

I was beginning to become a little nervous. Would they be able to tell that I actually had feelings for Jacob, even though I was acting like I didn’t, while acting like I did for the play?

Wow. That was confusing… I must be over thinking this.

For the next ten minutes, all of us were busy finalizing props and scripts, and re-reading the most confusing lines. I could spot people from my class, and unfamiliar people from the other three Theater classes, all backstage with me.

I felt calmer knowing that I hadn’t seen Jake yet, and my plan of avoiding him and his awkward conversations was working.

“Toby?”

Shit. There was that voice. That voice that use to make me weak, and still does.

“Mhmm?” I asked, turning around but avoiding eye contact.

I felt lighting surge through me as he grasped my wrist in his hand, leading me to a more quiet part of backstage.

“I’ve been driving myself crazy and I just wanted you to know. That I’m sorry if I’m not anywhere close to Max, but I do know one thing.”

“That no one in the world could care about you as much as I do right now. No one. I meant it when I said I love you, because I do and these few weeks haven’t changed that. I just want to give us another shot. I’ll be the guy of your dreams, even if I have to take lessons from my cousin- I will do it.”

He paused for a breath.

“Even though that sounds crazy, I don’t care- because that’s just it. I’m crazy about you Toby. A stupid letter like that one, won’t change my mind either.”

First off: WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT MAX FOR??

He didn’t think I… liked Max did he? What letter? What about Bridgette?

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!???

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. What letter?”

“The one you wrote in class… the one about Max…”

“WHAT!?? I NEVER, EVER wrote a love note to Max.” I argued.

“Oh yeah, then who was it to??” He said, now turning from desperate to angry.

“What about you, and your new little girlfriend Bridgette!?”

He scoffed. “Bridgette was never my girlfriend. I don’t want anything to do with her.”

“That’s not what YOUR letter said.” I said squinting my eyes at him.

“I wrote my love letter about you, not her.” My eyes widened. How could that be?

I felt butterflies swarm in my stomach at the thought of that personal and companionate letter written for me.

“Well… I wrote mine about you… not Max.”

“That’s not what it said…” He trailed off.

“Well, that’s not what yours said either.”

“Then, who would have changed the letters?” My mind flashed back to the day in history. How Max didn’t want me sharing my letter with anyone, how the teacher’s paper’s suddenly appeared on her desk. How he collected the papers and put them into his backpack.

“Do you think Max would have… tampered with our letters in order to break us up?” I asked, astounded of how I could have been so easy on him, how I could have leaned on him through this whole thing.

I was even astounded as how he could sit back and watch me break down, piece by piece- knowing he was the cause of it.

What. A. Scumbag.

“I don’t know-.” Suddenly my phone went off with the song “Something.” By Escape The Fate. Yes, I got this song to help me get over Jacob in case you were wondering.

“And now you wish that you meant something, to somebody else.”

In the corner of my eye, I swear I could have seen Jake flinch at the realization of the lyrics.

“Hello?” I asked seeing as the number was my mom’s.

“Oh thank god your alright! Iwassoworriedthatyouwerehurt, thatitcouldhavebeenhimandhetookyou!” My mom said sobbing through the phone.

“Mom- mom. Slow down, what are you talking about?” I asked, feelings the adrenaline run through me veins. It was never good when your mom called you crying.

“Toby, the police just called. Someone broke into our house. They think it was your father…” I gasped, feeling my feet give out from under me.

He couldn’t be back in my life. He just couldn’t…. not now.

“W-what? Are you Ok?” I choked out. Jacob’s eyes were burning holes in my back. If he did still care about me, like he says he does, then seeing me like this was probably killing him.

“Yes, I’m fine. I went out to dinner with Mr. Davis. We’re going to go to the police station and see if they can’t retrieve our things, and then we’re leaving Toby. I’m not about to let him hurt us again, not now.”

“Does Mr. Davis know?” I asked ,wondering if like I- she was around other people as she told me these things.

“Yes. I told him, and he’s willing to help us out. Him and I are going to come pick you and Blaire up. We’re going to take turns driving all night. We’re thinking of heading up to your grandparent’s new vacation home. A place your father never knew about.”

“Ok. What about my play?” I asked, feeling guilty for leaving everyone after we had worked so hard.

“You will be done by the time we get there. Just wait in the back parking lot for us, we’ll be there as soon as possible, but we’ve still got to pack everyone’s things, ok?”

I gulped again. We were running out of fear… like we always did. He was ruining our lives.

Again.

“O-ok.” I said, feeling a single tear roll down my cheek.

I’m not going to lie. I was scared. My father was the one thing I have- and always will be scared of.

“Ok. Be strong honeybee, do your best at the play, and have fun! Don’t worry about a thing. I promise he won’t hurt you.”

The line clicked, but I held it to my ear a few more seconds. Reality slowly sinking in.

I can’t explain to you how scary it is, to know that a drunk lunatic is after you.

“Who was that? Are you Ok? Are you… crying?” Jacob’s voice became strained and concerned.

“Toby, answer me!” He said.

I jumped a little, not realizing how close he had gotten.

Was this the time? Should I tell him about my past?

Or would the city want to keep it a secret?

What if I never got to see him again, would it hurt less if I just got up and ran away? Or should I tell him that I love him, and I’ll be back again someday, and have him wait for me.

But would that be fair to him if I made him wait? When he could move on and be happy?

After all, when you love someone, all you care about is their happiness.

Happiness I couldn’t promise, knowing my father would always be out to get me.

“N-nothing. It’s just that my uh…” I paused, knowing I had to lie to help him.

“My mom can’t make the show.” I heard him let out a breath.

Suddenly we heard footsteps.

“Guys! Come on! We’ve been looking for you two FOREVER! The play’s about to start, and Toby… your up first.” Demitri said, giving Jacob and I skeptical glances.

“Don’t worry, you’ll do fine, and I think they’ve got it recorded so you can just bring it back home with you and let your mom watch the tape.”

“I know I’m getting one, just so I can remember this night, and how we could at least pretend we still loved each other…” He trailed off feeling sad.

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know if I can commit to you right now.” I said, lying through my teeth, knowing I wanted nothing more than to tell him how I felt, and tell him about my father and say I’ll be able to stay.

But this was for the better. He would understand eventually.

I put on the best smile I could manage as I went to the center of the stage and the curtains slowly pulled back. The spotlight hit me as I realized how hard this play could actually be, when you knew that tonight was your last night to remember all of their faces.

Because I might not ever see them again.