Filthy little things
two.
Standing here right now I can hear the sounds of her laughter buzzing in my ears, almost giving me the butterflies and the same feeling of that high I had when I first rested my eyes on her, or felt the warmness of her hands on mine..or the feeling I got when I was in that ride. I was at an ultimate high, the lights..swimming in my eyes and drowning my sight with them, the feeling of the cold air hitting my face and sucking me down into the cold metal, a smile played across my lips ; the other kids on their looking terrified and like there going to be sick. The only thought in my head was when I got off this ride, I got to see her face ; the sickness in my stomach stopped.
Before I go on with this, I feel like I have to tell you about myself. My name is Lucas, I am nineteen years old, and I'm a recovering addict. Cannabis, cocaine, crack, heroin, LSD, all those things. My life was a mess before I met Taylor, she made everything seem okay. I spent my whole life trying to kill the pain, but nothing helped. And along the way of trying to figure out when I was going to get my next fix, I lost myself. Taylor discovered me. When I was at the age of eight years old, my mother was itching for her next fix of the drug, crack, so she sold me and my sister to this man. My sister was at the age of five. Me and her were so confused, and we didn't know where we would end up. He seperated us..I remember her face, reaching out to me for help as he pulled her away from my death grip.. I never saw my sister again.
That was the night where I was forced to put a needle into my skin and take my first drug. Heroin. The man thought it would be funny to watch me cry, and react. I was little, I didn't know what was happening to my body. I broke free when I was fourteen. I ran away from that drug addict, not knowing I was one myself. I thought I was running from the dangers of that house, but I never noticed it was myself I should have ran from as well. I would sit in alley ways, rocking myself ; not eating, sleeping, or drinking for days. I was honestly scared for my life, and I would do anything for more drugs. One morning, I was having trouble breathing, I was sweating, and my sight was going in and out when this little old lady touched my arm. 'Son, are you alright?' she asked, in a sweet gentle voice. I don't remeber what happened, but I do remember she took me in. The moment I walked into that house, it smelt like home. You know, that home smell like when you smell it you know you're safe. Nothing nothing could hurt you, as long as you were home.. It took me fourteen years of my pitiful life to smell that smell. Her name was Dotty, but to me her name was mom. Though I was fourteen, we did everything together, and I was clean for two years untill when I was sixteen, one morning she just didn't wake up. In her will, she left everything for me. Money, the house, and everything she owned. I left everything the way she wanted it..and sometimes if I close my eyes real tight at night, it still feels like shes sitting at the foot of my bed telling me everything is going to be alright.
I know live with my best mate, Jack ; still in Dotty's, my mothers, house. I got back into drugs. Jack and myself were very heavy into them. Even I didn't understand it. During the days I would go to work, and when I got home I would do a line of cocaine, and smoke my pot, and whatever drugs I got my hands on. I was spinning out of control, and I never thought for one second it could have gotten better, but untill one night when I went to the fair, and I saw her there.. and thats how it all started. Thats my life, Lucas. I am now nineteen, burring the only thing that saved my life.
Before I go on with this, I feel like I have to tell you about myself. My name is Lucas, I am nineteen years old, and I'm a recovering addict. Cannabis, cocaine, crack, heroin, LSD, all those things. My life was a mess before I met Taylor, she made everything seem okay. I spent my whole life trying to kill the pain, but nothing helped. And along the way of trying to figure out when I was going to get my next fix, I lost myself. Taylor discovered me. When I was at the age of eight years old, my mother was itching for her next fix of the drug, crack, so she sold me and my sister to this man. My sister was at the age of five. Me and her were so confused, and we didn't know where we would end up. He seperated us..I remember her face, reaching out to me for help as he pulled her away from my death grip.. I never saw my sister again.
That was the night where I was forced to put a needle into my skin and take my first drug. Heroin. The man thought it would be funny to watch me cry, and react. I was little, I didn't know what was happening to my body. I broke free when I was fourteen. I ran away from that drug addict, not knowing I was one myself. I thought I was running from the dangers of that house, but I never noticed it was myself I should have ran from as well. I would sit in alley ways, rocking myself ; not eating, sleeping, or drinking for days. I was honestly scared for my life, and I would do anything for more drugs. One morning, I was having trouble breathing, I was sweating, and my sight was going in and out when this little old lady touched my arm. 'Son, are you alright?' she asked, in a sweet gentle voice. I don't remeber what happened, but I do remember she took me in. The moment I walked into that house, it smelt like home. You know, that home smell like when you smell it you know you're safe. Nothing nothing could hurt you, as long as you were home.. It took me fourteen years of my pitiful life to smell that smell. Her name was Dotty, but to me her name was mom. Though I was fourteen, we did everything together, and I was clean for two years untill when I was sixteen, one morning she just didn't wake up. In her will, she left everything for me. Money, the house, and everything she owned. I left everything the way she wanted it..and sometimes if I close my eyes real tight at night, it still feels like shes sitting at the foot of my bed telling me everything is going to be alright.
I know live with my best mate, Jack ; still in Dotty's, my mothers, house. I got back into drugs. Jack and myself were very heavy into them. Even I didn't understand it. During the days I would go to work, and when I got home I would do a line of cocaine, and smoke my pot, and whatever drugs I got my hands on. I was spinning out of control, and I never thought for one second it could have gotten better, but untill one night when I went to the fair, and I saw her there.. and thats how it all started. Thats my life, Lucas. I am now nineteen, burring the only thing that saved my life.