Filthy little things
three.
"Ms. Jones?" Those were the first words I've said in a long time, and to my own surprise, my voice was shaky, and my throat dry.
"Yes dear?" Taylor’s mother stopped sobbing for a moment to answer my little question.
"Do you think I could go into her room?"
We both looked at the door down the hall, many of nights I would sneak in here because Taylor's mother didn't like the fact I would spend the night.
"Yes, of course dear. You were her best friend, her everything. She wouldn’t mind you in her room.” I turned away from her to go start walking towards Taylor’s room.
“Oh, Lucas.” I turned back and faced her.
“Yes, Ma’am?”
“This time I actually give you permission.” A little smile came across her face and I faked a smile back at her and I scoffed.
“Thanks.” I went to turn back around to wipe the smile off my face, because without her here, it just seems wrong to smile.
“Honey, I know this hard on you. It’s hard on everyone. We,” She paused. “Well, you, did everything you could to save her. It was out of your hands, Lucas.”
I stopped and turned my head. “If it weren’t for me, she would have never became an addict.”
She paused and did a pre-cry breath. “She’s free now.” Tears ran down her cheeks and she turned away and went outside. I closed my eyes tight and tried to feel Taylor next to me, but my body just went cold. How I wanted to feel her warmness run through my veins just one more time..
She was holding my hand so tight in the dark room as we tip toed through her living room to get to her room. She was giggling and putting her finger to her lips, looking back at me to make sure I knew to be quiet. The drugs wore off and I still had this feeling inside me, an amazing feeling when I was next to her. She lead me down this dark hallway, and all the way at the end, to the left was a door colorfully painted like a five year old lived inside. I smiled to myself and she opened the doors to a colorful room. Right in the middle of the room was a giant bed with a bright yellow bed sheet over it. The walls, once white now splattered with paint of all colors. Black, blood red, deep sea blue, pink, Halloween orange, tulip yellow, purples, greens, everything. Hand prints, everywhere and the rest just splats. I was amazed, my head was reeling with all the colors. I looked all around the room. Art paintings hung up on the colored walls, paintings laying on the ground undecided where to be placed, and a blank canvas with paint bottles resting on the end table next to the canvas. There was also a television on another tall dresser in the corner, and a big glorious book shelf to the left, filled with art books, books from all other the place. Though we’ve been dating for a little over two weeks, this was the first time I have ever seen her room. She always came to my house.
“Wow.” I said, whispering. It was the only word I could think of. I loved the room. Her facial expression got saddened.
“You don’t like it.” She looked at the walls and sighed.
“No, no! I LOVE it! I’ve never seen anything like it.” I said with a smile. An even bigger smile came across her face and she ran to me and jumped on me, both of our bodies falling onto the bed. Laughing and smile and me holding her tight in my arms while she was ontop of me. She looked in my eyes and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
"I want to know everything about you." Her angelic voice said to me. I stopped smiling and I sighed, gently placing her on the bed and off me.
"No, thats not a good idea." I put my elbow on the bed, propping myself up, looking down at her and her facial expression was confused.
"No? Why not?"
"Because. Even I haven't figured myself out."
She smiled at me and she clung to my chest. "We'll figure out together."
I smiled and kissed her forehead and began my story.
That was the night that Taylor helped me find myself.
I already entered her room, and I could picture her laying on the bed, smiling at me and laughing. Or her body dancing side to side as I watched her paint. I heard her laugh and it made me collapse to the floor. One thing is for sure, I can’t do this without her.
"Yes dear?" Taylor’s mother stopped sobbing for a moment to answer my little question.
"Do you think I could go into her room?"
We both looked at the door down the hall, many of nights I would sneak in here because Taylor's mother didn't like the fact I would spend the night.
"Yes, of course dear. You were her best friend, her everything. She wouldn’t mind you in her room.” I turned away from her to go start walking towards Taylor’s room.
“Oh, Lucas.” I turned back and faced her.
“Yes, Ma’am?”
“This time I actually give you permission.” A little smile came across her face and I faked a smile back at her and I scoffed.
“Thanks.” I went to turn back around to wipe the smile off my face, because without her here, it just seems wrong to smile.
“Honey, I know this hard on you. It’s hard on everyone. We,” She paused. “Well, you, did everything you could to save her. It was out of your hands, Lucas.”
I stopped and turned my head. “If it weren’t for me, she would have never became an addict.”
She paused and did a pre-cry breath. “She’s free now.” Tears ran down her cheeks and she turned away and went outside. I closed my eyes tight and tried to feel Taylor next to me, but my body just went cold. How I wanted to feel her warmness run through my veins just one more time..
She was holding my hand so tight in the dark room as we tip toed through her living room to get to her room. She was giggling and putting her finger to her lips, looking back at me to make sure I knew to be quiet. The drugs wore off and I still had this feeling inside me, an amazing feeling when I was next to her. She lead me down this dark hallway, and all the way at the end, to the left was a door colorfully painted like a five year old lived inside. I smiled to myself and she opened the doors to a colorful room. Right in the middle of the room was a giant bed with a bright yellow bed sheet over it. The walls, once white now splattered with paint of all colors. Black, blood red, deep sea blue, pink, Halloween orange, tulip yellow, purples, greens, everything. Hand prints, everywhere and the rest just splats. I was amazed, my head was reeling with all the colors. I looked all around the room. Art paintings hung up on the colored walls, paintings laying on the ground undecided where to be placed, and a blank canvas with paint bottles resting on the end table next to the canvas. There was also a television on another tall dresser in the corner, and a big glorious book shelf to the left, filled with art books, books from all other the place. Though we’ve been dating for a little over two weeks, this was the first time I have ever seen her room. She always came to my house.
“Wow.” I said, whispering. It was the only word I could think of. I loved the room. Her facial expression got saddened.
“You don’t like it.” She looked at the walls and sighed.
“No, no! I LOVE it! I’ve never seen anything like it.” I said with a smile. An even bigger smile came across her face and she ran to me and jumped on me, both of our bodies falling onto the bed. Laughing and smile and me holding her tight in my arms while she was ontop of me. She looked in my eyes and brushed the hair out of my eyes.
"I want to know everything about you." Her angelic voice said to me. I stopped smiling and I sighed, gently placing her on the bed and off me.
"No, thats not a good idea." I put my elbow on the bed, propping myself up, looking down at her and her facial expression was confused.
"No? Why not?"
"Because. Even I haven't figured myself out."
She smiled at me and she clung to my chest. "We'll figure out together."
I smiled and kissed her forehead and began my story.
That was the night that Taylor helped me find myself.
I already entered her room, and I could picture her laying on the bed, smiling at me and laughing. Or her body dancing side to side as I watched her paint. I heard her laugh and it made me collapse to the floor. One thing is for sure, I can’t do this without her.