Hope Filled Sorrows

Frequent thoughts of him crossed his mind. Like little drops of light bringing happiness upon this shadowed world. The loss of his familiar figure, held close to his own, was one Ryan couldn't seem to live without. The warmth radiating off his skin, heating his own. Ryan sighed lightly as the memories of Brendon danced, dragging Ryan deeper into subconsciousness as he watched them in a play-by-play motion. He was oblivious to his surroundings and the cold that held war against his body. Shivers racked his body, yet he felt no cold, he buried deep inside his mind, warm at the thought of seeing Brendon once again.

A scarf was wrapped tightly around his neck, different from those he normally wore. It was a deep maroon shade, two solid black stripes made home at the ends. Ryan received it from Brendon before he left. A parting gift he called it, a gift to let him know that he may be gone for the time being, but it wouldn't be long until he returned. Ryan kept the scarf close at hand, the thought of it being lost created thoughts of mass destruction in his mind. Though he knew the scarf was nothing more than a scarf, it held more than that. It kept Brendon alive in his mind. Every memory fresh as though it had happened moments before.

Ryan opened his wide, brown eyes to the world before him. A light layer of snow was all that lay before him. Winter had come short this year. Not much snow had fallen, yet the frigid weather remained. A small cloud of crystallized particles escaped his lips as he exhaled.

Brendon had been lucky enough to escape the cold's icy bite. His family forced him to leave on vacation. Ryan didn't know where too, his mind went blank when he first heard those few words leave Brendon's mouth. Those few words that sent small icy daggers to his heart. It was not that they would be apart forever, it was the fact that he told Ryan he was leaving and wouldn't be back until Spring arrived. It was then when Ryan tuned Brendon out, his thoughts stopping in their tracks. He couldn't even remember where Brendon said he was leaving to or when for that matter.

Ryan only figured out the when days after when Brendon left a small post-it note upon his window. The time he would be leaving the next day and the day he was to return. A cry escaped his lips at the moment he read the note aloud. A small wrapped box lay not far from the note. It was wrapped in maroon wrapping paper, held shut a midnight black ribbon. The decorations and design matched the scarf that was sealed inside.

With that thought, Ryan hugged the scarf closer to his body. He was currently seated at the base of the tree nearest to his house. The clothes he wore hugged his body loosely as they became damp due to the snow. Shivers continued to rack his small frame. Ryan could do nothing to stop except stand up from his spot at the tree. The snow had all but melted beneath him as he turned to look at where he had sat. A frown found itself upon his face as he realized he had to return inside where heat would gladly welcome him and melt the small flakes of snow that gathered upon his hair.

Days past and all anyone could see of Ryan was his silhouette against the same tree. Face ridden with sorrow and pain; Ryan grew lonely as time flew by alone and yet no sign of Brendon. The scarf still remained, wrapped tight around his neck as he waited for any sign of Brendon's return. Spring had not yet arrived, but it was not enough to keep Ryan inside when the fact remained that he might arrive early. The cold chilled his bones, a sniffle clearing the silence as the sun raised to its peak. It allowed the snow to sparkle and shine at its best as it danced before his eyes. Ryan hugged his knees to his chest as he searched for warmth.

The middle of January proved to be the most difficult to remain warm in as he waited. A sneeze shook his body and lurched it forward as his head slammed back into the base of the tree. His eyes dampened as a few tears threatened to escape his ducts. A small laugh rang through the bitter cold air. Ryan's back went rigid, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. That laugh was one he knew all too well, the fact that he was able to hear it nearly brought the tears back to his eyes.

Ryan sniffled and wiped his nose with the back of his right near-numb hand and stood without bothering to wipe the snow that stuck to his clothes. It took a massive amount of courage to look behind him, his feet wanting to stay in place. The hopes he held were high and Ryan didn't think that he could take it if it wasn't him. He closed his eyes, intending on having his hopes shattered.

Ryan gulped down the clog in his throat as he slowly turned in place only to open his eyes to view nothing. Nothing but the stillness that is winter. His heart nearly stopped, a cry lodged in his throat as he realized what heard was nothing but his own imagination playing tricks on him. Could life really be this cruel?

Ryan's eyes bulged when a sudden warmth entered his body, two long armed wrapped around his body from behind. His body became limp as he accepted the warmth. Brendon had returned to him. Ryan smiled as Brendon rested his head upon his own. Ryan exhaled, ignoring the cloud that formed in front of his face, and inhaled Brendon's scent.

He couldn't believe that he had returned and early no less. He turned and faced Brendon, a smile planted on his face, one that could not easily be torn from it. Ryan's stomach churned as he felt that oh-so-familiar feeling he got when he was in Brendon's presence. "You're back." It was all he could seem to say as he lunged forward to envelope Brendon in a hug. Ryan felt as though he were in a stage of vertigo, on cloud nine. It was all he could to prevent himself from tackling him to the ground never let go. He felt Brendon nod as he returned the hug.

Ryan sighed as he embraced Brendon. The bliss was incredible and he wished he could never let go but in the end he had to peel his body from Brendon's. Brendon smiled and gripped Ryan's hand and tugged on it, informing him to follow. Ryan returned the smile and laughed, tailing close behind Brendon. Ryan stumbled along after Brendon, hands locked, attempting to stay afloat on top of the snow while heading up a hill. A grin broke out across his face as he recognized the route Brendon was leading him along.

Minutes after they arrived at a clearing, the same clearing they came across when they first decided to go traveling. It wasn't long after that their relationship blossomed. Brendon halted in the middle of the clearing and turned around, releasing Ryan's hand as he did so. "You don't look too good Ryan."

Ryan stared at Brendon in silence as the words processed in his mind, a chime of laughter broke the silence as Ryan broke down. After waiting so long for Brendon to return he never thought those would be the first words he said. "Wow, I don't have much of a comeback to that. I'd be lying if I said you didn't look too good." Ryan smiled slightly and stared down at the blanket of snow that covered the clearing. Still staring at the ground, he spoke once more, "You're back so early. Why is that?"

He noticed Brendon's feet shuffling forward. "Aren't you happy? I can always return back to--"

"No!" Ryan lifted his head to meet Brendon's eyes. His eyes held a fierceness in them that they lacked before. He wouldn't be able to handle it if Brendon left once again. Ryan sighed and pulled at the end of his scarf. Brendon's eyes traveled down to the scarf and a smile lit his face. Behind them, snow collapsed off a dead tree branch and the wind quickly carried the snow towards the couple. Brendon hugged Ryan once more, the warmth of his body enclosed in his own. Two puzzle pieces finally finding their match. The snow encased them in a light cover, only melting when it met the skin of the two.