Tears are pouring off my face
Tears are pouring off my face
I’m running like there’s no tomorrow. Tears blur my vision, they’re making colours run into each other, like rain on a painting. I don’t know how, but somehow, I’ve managed to run to my house, up the stairs, into my room. I throw myself upon my bed, and I keep on crying uncontrollably. Brendon called me today, telling me he wanted to talk to me. We met in the local park…
“What’s wrong?” I asked him. I could see the fire in his eyes was gone, extinguished. His brown eyes looked straight through me.
“Nothing… I just wanted to talk to you.” Brendon replied, looking away from me.
“About what?” I asked, trying to get his eyes to look at me again.
“About us.” He said and my stomach clenched. Blood started rushing through my veins as if there was a guy holding a gun against my head.
I swallowed the bulge that was making its way up in my throat. I hoped and prayed that this wouldn’t be the end of us.
“You’ve noticed that I was quiet and distant.” He started. I closed my eyes and my ears at the same time, trying to make him say something else.
The only thing I was able to do, was nod.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately… About us… And… well Ry… I don’t think we made it through that holiday of yours.” He says and the first tears were welling up in my eyes.
“What do you mean?” I asked, not understanding shit of what he was saying.
“We’re through, Ryan. I don’t love you anymore.” He said. His words stabbed straight through my heart.
The only thing I did for a while, was standing there. My eyes stared straight into the ground. Everything we had built, everything we had been through… it’s all over… I reached my hand up to him, but he slapped it away.
“I’m sorry, Ry.” He apologized and I started running away from him.
For the umpteenth time that minute, I scream his name into my pillow. Why did he have to do this? Everything we had… it’s gone… Absolutely gone… I don’t know how I’ll be able to survive without him.
I turn around, looking at the ceiling. Everything we had in here, every beautiful moment we shared… It’s all gone… With tears in my eyes, I fall asleep. But my dreams are filled with Brendon.
When I wake up, I feel lost, cold and alone. There’s bitterness and anger of not knowing why. There’s sadness and loneliness because I know I’ll never feel his arms around me again. My stomach clenches again and I walk towards the bathroom. I take one of dad’s razor knives out of the wrap and put it to my wrist. Without Brendon, my life isn’t worth a dime. I cut and the first drips of blood make their way out of the vein. I don’t stop and keep on cutting. Soon, I’ve made a deep cut, and my face becomes pale from the amount of blood I lost. My tears won’t fall anymore, not for him, not for anyone else. I fall down onto the ground, my eyes look at the white ceiling of the bathroom. I once swore he was the first and last thing on my mind. The last word I manage to speak out…
“B-Bren… B-Brendon.” I stutter before closing my eyes. My body grows colder by the second and soon, everything around me becomes numb. I don’t hear a thing anymore, I can’t see, but I’m falling into a black hole…
“What’s wrong?” I asked him. I could see the fire in his eyes was gone, extinguished. His brown eyes looked straight through me.
“Nothing… I just wanted to talk to you.” Brendon replied, looking away from me.
“About what?” I asked, trying to get his eyes to look at me again.
“About us.” He said and my stomach clenched. Blood started rushing through my veins as if there was a guy holding a gun against my head.
I swallowed the bulge that was making its way up in my throat. I hoped and prayed that this wouldn’t be the end of us.
“You’ve noticed that I was quiet and distant.” He started. I closed my eyes and my ears at the same time, trying to make him say something else.
The only thing I was able to do, was nod.
“I’ve been thinking a lot lately… About us… And… well Ry… I don’t think we made it through that holiday of yours.” He says and the first tears were welling up in my eyes.
“What do you mean?” I asked, not understanding shit of what he was saying.
“We’re through, Ryan. I don’t love you anymore.” He said. His words stabbed straight through my heart.
The only thing I did for a while, was standing there. My eyes stared straight into the ground. Everything we had built, everything we had been through… it’s all over… I reached my hand up to him, but he slapped it away.
“I’m sorry, Ry.” He apologized and I started running away from him.
For the umpteenth time that minute, I scream his name into my pillow. Why did he have to do this? Everything we had… it’s gone… Absolutely gone… I don’t know how I’ll be able to survive without him.
I turn around, looking at the ceiling. Everything we had in here, every beautiful moment we shared… It’s all gone… With tears in my eyes, I fall asleep. But my dreams are filled with Brendon.
When I wake up, I feel lost, cold and alone. There’s bitterness and anger of not knowing why. There’s sadness and loneliness because I know I’ll never feel his arms around me again. My stomach clenches again and I walk towards the bathroom. I take one of dad’s razor knives out of the wrap and put it to my wrist. Without Brendon, my life isn’t worth a dime. I cut and the first drips of blood make their way out of the vein. I don’t stop and keep on cutting. Soon, I’ve made a deep cut, and my face becomes pale from the amount of blood I lost. My tears won’t fall anymore, not for him, not for anyone else. I fall down onto the ground, my eyes look at the white ceiling of the bathroom. I once swore he was the first and last thing on my mind. The last word I manage to speak out…
“B-Bren… B-Brendon.” I stutter before closing my eyes. My body grows colder by the second and soon, everything around me becomes numb. I don’t hear a thing anymore, I can’t see, but I’m falling into a black hole…