The Missing Frame

Chapter 3

It is Thursday morning, and I have just kissed my mother good bye.

There is a twinge of guilt in my heart.

How could I say I love you to my mother when I am about to leave and do something bad?

Something she never would have wanted me to do?

“Watch my back for me,” I tell my fourteen year old sister.

Her dark eyes are wary, and they seem worried.

“I’ll be back around…Five thirty, maybe six,” I say.

“Okay…”

I can’t think of anything else to say, so I head out the door.

I seriously have never been this scared in my life.
I have only had a few scary moments in my life, but this was no dream.

I see car lights in the darkness of the early morning.

He is already here.

He goes past my driveway to the spot where I had shown him.

I quicken my pace and before long, I am headed towards him.

Brendon’s car backs out, and heads down the road, the headlights catch me; strangely, I feel like a deer.

“Hey,” he says when he rolls down the window.

“Come get in,” he beckons his head towards the passenger seat.

I walk around the car and open the door then clambered in.

“So what’s up?” Brendon seems to be enjoying this.

“Not much…I haven’t slept all night. What about you?”

I will admit it; I have a feeling I cannot do this.

“Same here. I stayed up all night talking to you…I figured you’d freak on me and not wanna do anything,” he reveals.

“Oh. What makes you think I’d freak on you?” I am struggling with myself.

“Because you’re nervous right now,” he says.

Is he laughing at me?

“Why are you laughing at me?” I ask.

We park in the little drive way.

“I’m not. It’s just pretty funny,” Brendon smiles.

“So what’re we gonna do?” he rests his hand on my thigh.

Of course, I know what I’m going to do, but it’s hard when I am still terrified.

“What do you wanna do?” I reply, inching myself closer to him.

“We could play a game.”

“Leap frog?” I smile.

Now I am a freaking centimeter from his face and I am wired up from no sleep.

How could I even do this?

This was so unlike me…

I push myself forward and our lips meet.

His hands go to my hips, guides me onto his lap.

Our mouths never leave each other.

This was the second time we have split.

It seems like a never ending merry go round for us.

Always breaking up, then returning to each other.

He says it is not me.

He claims it’s him, that there are things within him that can never be put to rest.

“I’ve gotta go see Mitch, Mom…I have to talk to him,” I whisper.

“Fine, Laken. But this shit’s gonna stop. Why can’t you just let go of him?” she retorts, keys in hand.

I think about that question the whole way to Mitch’s new house.

He has moved in with a friend.

“Don’t stay too long, Laken. I don’t feel like waiting on you either,” Mom says.

I nod and walk slowly to the front door.

I ring the doorbell and wait.

When he opens the door, I sense he wants to just shut the door.

I bite my lower lip hard.

“Hey baby,” he says.

“What’s wrong, Mitch? Why can’t you tell me?” my voice is cracking.

“Baby…It’s not you, I swear. It’s difficult for me to tell anyone…” he takes me in his arms.

“I hate that it takes you away from me…” I whisper against his mouth.

He just kisses me harder.

He nuzzles my neck, and his hand travels into my pants.

Is this how he wants to make up?

Is this honestly how he believes things will patch up?

By just having sex?

Yet, I can’t tell him no.

“Mitch…” I softly say.

“Just a little bit, baby,” he says, going to sit in the chair.

I follow and I settle onto his lap.

“Just a little bit,” he murmurs into my hair.

I let him enter me, the feeling the same as the numerous times we have already done for a year and a half now.

“Mitch,” I whisper, tears well in my eyes.

Suddenly, Mom honks her horn, and I don’t wanna let him go.

“You gotta go?” he says, his eyes different than what they normally are.
“Yeah…”

“Alright,” he holds me to him with such a fierceness, it kinda hurts.

But I don’t care.

I just want to be held in his arms…

I wanna stay here for the remainder of my days.

“I’m really tired now,” Brendon says as I rest my head on his massive shoulder.

“Me too…”

A quiet blankets us, nothing can be heard but the birds and some crickets.

The sun is starting to rise and I feel weird.

I debate on going to school or not.

“How is Mitch?” I feel like I need to ask.

Mitch has been living with Brendon for a few weeks now since our split.

“Mitch?…Ahh, well…He’s just Mitch. Kinda lazy, doesn’t sleep much. Plays video games,” he smiles.

“Why? Has he been talking to you?” he swipes at sweat on his brow.

“Not really. Just every now and then…I just worry about him,” I whisper.

“Well, don’t. Ya’ll are over with; there’s really no going back,” he reasons, his coffee brown eyes more caring than he has ever acted towards me.

Except I want something to go back to.

I want him back with every ounce of my body.

It burns and the longer we stay apart, the bigger the hole in my heart gets.