Heartbreak Is Falling in Love Again.

“Drew baby, you look so cute right now.” I said squeezing his cheeks. Everything was Dizzy, and I didn’t know what I was saying, but words seemed to be pouring out of my mouth every second. I had called him after a few shots with Cole and Lè bîtch and convinced him to come and party with me.

“You’ve had a little to much to drink don’t you think?” I wasn’t really paying attention to his words as much as I was paying attention to his eyes.

“No, no, no.” I thought I had silenced him from the topic but then I blurted out a question, a very stupid one. “Why don’t you loosen up a bit, have some fun? Why aren’t you drinking?”

“Because someone needs to be able to drive you home, and I have a volleyball tournament tomorrow, coach just told us today that the seasons ending early.” I didn’t much care for his words, mostly because I didn’t really understand him. So I wrapped my arms around his waste and went on my tip toes and kissed him.

“So ugh Cole went home, we got into an argument. Do you think you’d have time to drop me off too, which I don’t think should be a problem, seining as I live with you?” Morgan said standing in front of us. She lived with him now? What the hell is with that? Yeah sure I just met her only hours ago, but her words after school still echoed in my head, and I really hated her. Suddenly my mind clouded a lot more, and before I knew it I was in the passenger seat in Drew’s car getting dropped off.

“Drew.” I said “Why is she living with you?” He didn’t seem to want to answer, or maybe he just didn’t know the answer.

“Cole and I are getting a house together.” She said grinning. “I came up for the weekend so we could go pick out one.” I couldn’t let Cole live with her, no matter how happy he has said she makes him, she was just kissing my brother not too long ago, and threatening to steel my boyfriend away. What the hell is wrong with her?

“Trust me.” I began. “There is no way in hell that Cole is getting a house with you, miss kiss my brother only a few hours ago.”

“What do you mean she kissed your brother?” Drew asked.

“She’s drunk Drew; she doesn’t know what she’s saying.” Morgan answered. I wanted to yell and scream and throw a hissy fit, but that wouldn’t get me anywhere except for a room with white padded walls and no windows. So I stayed silent knowing that eventually it would be brought up, but then a thought occurred to me.

“Drew can I stay over tonight?” I asked. It was definitely random, but I was drunk, and so far that was my excuse. I had only spent the night a few times, but nothing ever happened, and it wasn’t enough times to suddenly start asking, but I couldn’t let her stay the night with him there. I wouldn’t let him off my supervision while she was around.

He looked at me, a little stunned. “I have volleyball tomorrow.” He said. I just smiled dumb founded.

“That’s okay, what time does it start?” I wish that I could just shut up and trust him.

“Around 9 am.” He answered. “Would you be okay there by yourself?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll be fine. Just please don’t make me go home and face my mother.” I said, it was the first excuse that popped into my head, and honestly it was a good one. I can’t even imagine the look on my mothers face if I had gone home like this. After Justin I’ve tried to keep my distance when getting drunk.

“It’s alright with me.” He said. A little awkwardly, and then he turned to me and flashed his nice big toothy smile, and I smiled back.

Morgan just sat there quietly, trying to play her best innocent act. I was expecting her to comment or something, In the few hours I’d known her, I’d already figured out that she likes to play innocent, and she likes to talk or should I say humiliate, harass, and threaten. Her innocence towards me were the times when she obeyed me and walked away as I told her too, but she would still do that now. She’s cocky, not stupid. That doesn’t seem like the right way to put it, she is stupid, but not in the “What’s that mean?” or “Oh em gee, I forgot what I was going to say” kind of way.

We reached his house and walked in. Morgan ran upstairs while Drew carried me. Cole’s door slammed shut, and a lot of giggling and kissing and sorry’s were heard. I did my best to ignore them, until we reached Drew’s room and he shut the door behind him.

He placed me on the bed and asked me if I wanted to borrow one of his long shirts, as he always did on the unusual nights that I stayed, and as always I said yes. He striped down to his boxers while I was in the bathroom getting changed into the shirt, and when I walked back in he held me in a tight embrace.

He let go and we climbed into the bed, and we kissed for a while. I liked the way his body felt against my bare legs and the way his arms wrapped around me. He was in his boxers yes, but he always did that especially when he found it hot – the sweaty kind – he used to always ask scared that I might find it weird, but now he didn’t because I didn’t care.

The part about being drunk I liked, was that I almost never threw up, headaches in the morning yes, but it’s very rare that I ever throw up. So I didn’t really have anything to worry about. We stopped kissing and then me being tired fell into a nice dreamless sleep.

I woke up to a kiss on the lips and a cup of coffee. “You slept in late, you always do on weekends, but like 1 o’clock late not until 3:30.” I was confused, I couldn’t have possibly woken up that late, but I checked the clock, and indeed it was 3:30.

I didn’t even have a hangover. That was odd, that had never happened before, no matter how late I woke up. Was I imagining the many shots of vodka I had last night? I took another sip of the coffee the taste fresh on my tongue.

“I remember you saying something about volleyball.” I say ignoring his comment about the time. “Weren’t you supposed to leave at like 9 something?” I asked.

“You slept right threw.” Drew laughed. “It wasn’t a very long tournament only a few schools, but we won first, as always, and I got voted MVP.” A smile stretched across his face.

“You always do well, and you always get voted most valuable player.” I said rewarding him with a kiss. “So does that mean I get you all too myself today handsome?”

“Why yes it does beautiful.” He said kissing my softly on the lips.

We were interrupted by my ringing phone. And when I answered it, it turned out to be my mother. I told her where I was and I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I’d call her later, and that was the end of the phone call.

I turned to Drew, and smiled. “I’ll make a deal with you, alright?” I suddenly said. And when he nodded I continued. “We don’t touch or kiss at all today.”

“And where’s the other option?” He asked smirking.

“You get to spend the night at my place.” I said, he had never spent the night before, and yeah I was a little nervous, and yes it has only been 2 months, but I love him, and I’m ready.

“Your mom scares me.” He said. I frowned and then smacked him over the head with a pillow. “Well lucky for you, my mom won’t be there, neither will my brother.” I laughed.

“Alright, so if I don’t kiss you or touch you for the rest of today, I get to spend the night at your house?” He seemed confused. “What’s the catch?”

“You get to spend another night with your girlfriend.” I said smiling. He was either playing stupid or he really didn’t know what I was getting at. A playful smile stretched across his face.

“No deal.” He said. I looked at him confusingly.

“I don’t get it.” I said.

“I can’t go all day without kissing you.” He started. “And not because I only want you for that, because that’s not true, but because when I kiss you, you have this one special smile after every kiss, and I just can’t go all day without seeing it.” I felt my cheeks turn pink. “And you get this sparkle in your eye that drives me insane. I just can’t go a day without seeing that sparkle and that smile.” Awe.

“I love you.” I said, and then I kissed him. After a while I pulled away. “Stay at my place tonight. Okay?” I asked in a hopeful voice.

“I love you too.” He said. “If you really want me too stay the night then I will.”

“I want you to stay the night.” I said. “Do you want to stay the night?”

“I want to stay the night.” he said.” And then we were kissing again.

Home sweet home. The fresh sent of my house as I walked into it was overwhelming. I hadn’t had the house to myself in so long, my mom didn’t have to worry about boys then though, and neither did my brother. Not that he would have cared if I had a boy over, not unless anything happened. But I was 10 and my only friend that was a boy was Mitchell, an annoying 11 year old boy who always tried to kiss me in the halls.

Morgan was also staying another night and it was a relief to know that soon she would be gone. To leave my depressed brother and my wonderful boyfriend alone. Tonight was supposed to be special for both Drew and I, so I need clear my head of all thoughts that hold Morgan and her threat after school a couple days ago. What Drew and I have is nothing she can come between, I’m sure of it.

I take a hold of Drew’s hand some what scared that he might slip away from my grip and end up with Morgan and take him upstairs so he can put his stuff down. Justin’s room door is open so I take a peek inside. Justin was sitting on his bed with his hands in his head. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Drew let go of my hand feeling that this was a brother sister moment and walked over and into my room.

“Dakota called.” He said. I didn’t see why this was a bad thing, unless something bad happened. “She said that Morgan came up to her when she was at the mall yesterday and asked her if we were together, and she said yes and that’s when Morgan told her that we kissed.” He looked so sad now that I almost cried because of it.

“Do you want me to call her? I mean she can’t honestly believe her; you need to tell her Justin. You need to call her right now and tell her what happened and why she’s doing that. That she kissed you. You need to tell her everything like you told me.” I said. That one story was enough for me to hate Morgan, and that one threat finished up the layers of the cake. She needs to leave.

“I can’t tell her, she’ll dump me for sure. She hasn’t dumped me because she thinks we can work this out, I’m staying the night at her place as planned, but who knows what fight might strike during that time. I wish I could tell her, I really do. But I can’t. You understand that right?” This girl was really getting to him, and yes I hadn’t talked to my brother since the day he told me everything, but I stilled loved him, so why couldn’t Dakota? Over all though, I did understand why he couldn’t tell her. It was a big step, it was trust. All relationships have trust, but there is always one thing that you can never tell them. Trust creates the lies in every day life.

I nodded as my reply then I leaned over and kissed his cheek and walked out of the room and into mine. I felt so bad for him, he didn’t deserve any of that, and yes I remember his little weird state last year, but I didn’t think much of it. I knew he would come around. He’s my best friend.

Drew was sitting on my bed waiting patiently. I came and sat down beside him. I noticed he turned the radio on and it was playing a new song by family channel’s Mitchel Musso called Speed dial. It wasn’t really a song that represented a good relationship. As he sang about how his girlfriend is now with his best friend and he’s taking her off speed dial. The only family channel star I actually like, and he’s kind of cute.

The radio started playing a different song, and old one called “I want you to want me.” I forget who it’s by, but it’s always a classic that I like to sing a long to. And so that’s exactly what I did, Drew turned off the radio once the song was done and started playing some cheesy exotic crap and then put his hand on my chin and sat there looking into my eyes.

“Are you sure?” He asked. I knew what he meant and I nodded, I was ready now, two months and this time it was going to mean something real. And I was kind of excited about how much I wanted to. But the question was, was he ready?

“Are you?” I asked. He nodded, and then he was on top of me kissing me deeply and hungrily.

************************** Drew’s Point of View **************************

I want this so badly, my girlfriend, my breathtakingly gorgeous girlfriend. This has to be perfect, this has to go good. I love her and nothing can mess this up, Justin’s in my head though. He looked so depressed and I can’t let that go. And I don’t want to be thinking about that, while this is happening.

I parted away from Kimberly’s lips, we were both breathing heavily. She went to pull me back to her but I didn’t move. I didn’t want this to happen while I was thinking of Justin. Justin is one of my greatest friends and seeing him like that was just horrible. In most cases I would say to him and his problem “suck it up, be a man.” Then I’d pat him on the back. But this look didn’t seem like that would be something right to say to him.

Kimberly just sat there biting her lip confused. Ah man. Now she thinks I don’t want this, when I so badly do, believe me. Her eyes looked doubtful and I knew I should speak before she came to conclusions, but just as I was about to she spoke first.

“You kissed her didn’t you?” She asked me. That was unexpected and I felt guilty, even though I did nothing of the sort.

“Kissed who?” I asked confused. Which I was, I didn’t know who the hell she was talking about. And this was one conclusion I never even thought she would ever bring up. Did she really trust me that little?

“You know who.” She said anger rising in her voice. “Morgan. Dammit. You kissed her didn’t you?” Now I was pissed off, why did she hate this girl so much? She didn’t do anything to her and she just moved there too. I mean it’s probably just some girl drama about borrowing some lip gloss and forgetting to give it back. Usually I would try and stick with her side but not go against Morgan at the same time. I hardly knew her.

“No.” I said. “I haven’t kissed anyone. Where is this coming from?” she took a while to answer and when she did her anger settled down a bit.

“I wish I could tell you why, but I can’t.” I could tell by her facial expression that she felt sad for not being able to tell me, and as much as I wanted to know … it was her business.

“When you’re ready then.” I answered. There was still tension in the air, and then I realized why. It was because she was hoping that I would tell her that I kissed Morgan and not that I didn’t want to, but that wasn’t the case. So I spoke again. “Look I –” She cut me off again.

“You. Don’t. Want. To.” She said each word slowly and carefully. I felt bad for making her assume that and I really didn’t want her to think that I didn’t want to have sex. But I thought about it and she was right. I did want to obviously but just not right now.

“No, I do. Its just I don’t want to right now.” She went to interrupt me again but I held my pointer finger up and she stopped what she was going to say. “Just I don’t want to do this while I’m thinking of your brother.” She obviously took this the wrong way because her next words were.

“EW! You’re gay. I mean there isn’t anything wrong with that, but that would be kind of insulting to me, because what does that say if you’re into guys? And why would you even be thinking of him during this?” I kind of laughed a bit at this and then we both broke out into a huge laughing spree. “Oh my god, I’m sorry. As if you’re gay, wait are you?” She said after she calmed down a bit.

“No, no, no. Not gay. Totally straight.” I said. She smiled and I smiled back grabbing her hand and rubbing my thumb back and fourth as I always did when I was with her. “You’re brother looked upset, depressed is more like it, and I didn’t like seeing him like that and that’s what I was thinking about.”

“Oh.” Was all she said for a while. “Well he’s going to be okay, it’s just family stuff. Everything will be fine after the weekend.” My mood lightened up when she said this; because now I knew that he would be okay I was comfortable enough.

“Are you sure?” I asked double checking.

“I’m sure.” She said. It was like déjà vu from about 10 minutes earlier when I was asking if she was ready. I placed my hand lightly on the back of her neck and tilted her chin up with my other hand.

“Okay, I’m ready.” I said and then we were kissing more urgently then we were before. Like we were trying to make up for the few minutes we missed of it. I still couldn’t get over how good it felt to kiss her, to know that she’s all mine. I used to be a player, and I’ve been with a lot of girls. But no one has ever made me feel the way Kimberly does. I love this girl more then anything in the world, and as her hands made there way up my bare stomach pulling my shirt off I couldn’t help but smile.

************************ Kimberly’s Point of View. *************************

I couldn’t help but smile as Drew’s hands explored my body. It just felt right and I knew it was right. I loved him and this love was strong.

I woke up at 6 in the morning and had nothing to do. Drew was fast asleep beside me and I didn’t want to wake him this early. I got up quickly and quietly and grabbed my diary – more of a poetry book – and walked down stairs to the kitchen where I sat and wrote my feelings down in ink and perfect melody like rhymes.

My feelings were just so messed up. It felt like my heart was about to pound out of my chest. Last night was the most perfect night, something I’ve always dreamed of. I wanted my first time to be like that with someone like him, but my judgment was way off about Chris and I regret my first time with him. With Drew though it was like how I always imagined.

I wanted to wake Drew up so badly and have his arms around me holding me. But I didn’t want to wake him. He was probably tired he had to be up early yesterday morning and the night before I kept him up because I was drunk. I wrote more and then I started to think about a lot of things. For one Morgan.

She would be up and out of here today, Cole probably dumper her. He’s smart and he could see my disapproval. He has to have already found out she was evil it only took me a few seconds. Well basically the second I saw her. My brother would be fine after today; he’ll never have to worry about her again. But something was still nagging at me.

My brother killed someone. I’ve tried to forget about it and when Drew had brought up how my brother looked depressed it took my all not to tell him everything. I hated lying to him it made me feel guilty. But I knew that in time everything would go back to normal. The question was would I be able to go back to normal with the stuff that I knew?

I stopped writing at about 7 and then I made my way back up stairs. I walked into my room and put my book down on my dresser. I sat on my computer chair and turned on the computer. I dragged the little mouse over to where the little e with a gold line circled it and clicked down. A few seconds later the internet window popped up.

I typed in www.hotmail.com in the little search bar at the top and soon enough the hotmail page loaded up onto my screen and I typed in my username and password. There were a few emails from Chris, some were from a few days before but I never bothered to look at them. Other emails were just chain letters that I hated, and some were from Dakota. I clicked on Chris’s emails first; they all basically said the same thing. The first one went like this.

Hey Kimberly,

I’m sorry for calling you a sorry for calling you a slut. Isn’t there anyway we could just be friends? I mean I know you’re with Drew and all but that doesn’t mean we still can’t hang out right? Miss you. Chris.

I didn’t miss him in the I-love-you-my-life-sucks-without-you kind of way, but more of the I-miss-hanging-out-and-having-someone-to-talk-to kind of way. The next one went like this.

Kimberly, Hey. You haven’t answered my email yet and I wanted to know if that was because you don’t want to talk to me, or because you just haven’t checked your email lately. I remember how you usually only went on msn. Anyways if you want give me a call. You know my digits. And again, I’m sorry for everything. Chris.

Truth be told I didn’t remember his number at all, he usually called me and when I called him I had to look off the notebook where he had printed the numbers across. Which I had thrown that out the minute we were over. And finally, the third email went like this.

Look Kimberly.

I’m sorry if I hurt you; believe me I know I don’t deserve much. But I really think that we should be friends. I’ve tried calling you but I guess you don’t want to talk to me. I’ll take the hint after this email. Oh yeah and you know Morgan right? Well she asked me out today and I kind of wanted a second opinion, and I thought that you’d be honest with me even if it was harsh. I know I shouldn’t be talking to you about girls really. But Morgan seems pretty cool. Anyways it’s Sunday and I have to go to the gym. Talk to you later Kimberly, bye. Chris.

The last one pissed me off. Morgan even got to him, I mean I know it’s not his fault he doesn’t know any better but really, out of all the guys in the school she only goes after the ones I either have a past, present, or share blood with. And she does it without even knowing it. She really pisses me off. I wrote Chris a reply only because I was bored.

Yeah Chris sorry I haven’t replied, I’ve been busy with Drew you know? Anyways I’ll think about the friendship. In the mean time I really don’t recommend Morgan to you, she’s a total skank which I guess is why you like her, she’s exactly like you. [Sorry but you deserved that] I know too much about her already and I just met her this week. If you really want my advice, you really should take it. She’s trouble and not at all what you think, believe me. Anyways got to go. Kimberly.

I read over what I wrote and decided that it was okay to send and then I clicked the little send button at the top left hand corner. Then I pressed the inbox button and dragged the mouse over the email Dakota sent me. The little screen opened up and read each word even more carefully then I had on Chris’s email making sure that I won’t forget any detail a best friend should remember.

Yo! You really need to call me; I need to talk to you. And not to mention I’m pissed as hell at you right now. Do you have any idea how worried I was after Morgan confronted us on Friday? And you just left me there alone while I tried to go through in my head what she was talking about. And then I find out from her herself telling me that she and Justin kissed. Did you know anything about that? Honestly you bitch, you could have told me that and maybe I wouldn’t have cried so much as I did hearing it from the slut who kissed him. How could you let me be alone through that? Oh and this is my favourite part. You didn’t even bother to call me after all of that, instead you went to a bar and got drunk. Oh yeah I knew about that. Thanks for ditching me at school hoe. And for EVERYTHING that happened, I think I damn well deserve an email back.

DAH FUH KING KOTA.

This one I owed her, as much as I really wanted to avoid Morgan and talk about her, I owed Dakota this. So I wrote;

I promise I’ll call you later on tonight okay? And I’m twice as sorry that I just left you standing there like a dumbass in the hallway. And it’s just I had a lot on my mind, and I know that’s not really an excuse, but I needed air. I knew that Morgan and Justin kissed; I was the one that caught them. But Justin said he wanted to tell you himself. And just so you know you don’t have any reason to be mad at Justin and I’m not just saying this because he’s my brother. I’m saying this because she kissed him; I watched it and then when I stopped it that little bitch gave me so much attitude. So stop being a whore about it okay? Love you with all I have. <3

Kimberly.

I sent the letter and then signed out of my email, and I was bored so I decided to check my facebook. I signed in and spent a really long time looking through pictures and leaving comments for everyone in it to see. I went to Dakota’s and commented on the millions of pictures of us on it. And I checked Drew’s and I noticed that in his friends list, well what they display of it anyways had Morgan in it. And then I remembered that I had Drew’s facebook password. And okay sure it would be wrong but I was tempted.

So I logged off and signed in on Drew’s account and quickly minimized it as it loaded. I looked behind me to see that Drew was fast asleep still, so I opened the box back up and deleted Morgan off his friends list. Then I went to his inbox messages, and there was nothing in it. So I logged off and then turned the computer off.

I looked at my digital alarm clock and saw that it was 9 o’clock. And I realized I was really tired, so I climbed quickly back into my bed trying not to make a lot of noise. I looked down at Drew’s shirt on me and touched its nice fabric, and then something shifted the bed. I looked over at Drew and then quickly laid down on the bed. A few seconds later I felt an arm wrap around my waste and I was comforted. I fell asleep.