Status: updateeedd :]
Can't Live It Down
Love, Jake.
The funeral dragged on longer then Casey had wanted it to. There were people crying, babies screaming and children who had no idea what was going on. Casey only knew a few of the people, who attended, including her own family. A few people from school came but she knew that Jake wouldn’t have wanted them there. They were football players who mostly made Jake’s life miserable and a few teachers that he hated. She knew, deep down, that they only came in order to show respect for the dead or in order to satisfy some satisfaction that he was gone.
Saying that out loud would have made someone think she was crazy with a capital C. Casey was in her own little world now, where no one but her cared about the fact that he was truly gone. And after watching him fall into the blades between their machines, she couldn’t get the image out of her mind. The ambulance cleaned her off and gave her a towel, recommending to her parents that she should see a therapist for the accident but every day after that she refused.
She made a point, every day up until the funeral, to go outside. Every day, however, she just retreated right back into her bed and snuggled into Jake’s shirt that he had left behind one night. The day before the funeral, Casey tried her best to help Jake’s mother with the chairs outside their home but only stayed for a few moments. Jake’s mother looked worse than she did but the way she looked reminded her too much of him.
Now, as she sat in the very back row and hugging her knees to her chest, she thought about the times her and Jake spent arguing and how at that moment they could’ve been holding each other. She watched as Jake’s father stood at the stage, talking about his son. She watched as the casket with his body was lowered in the ground and cried to the skies, praying for God to take her instead of him. At least, that way, she knew he’d be okay without her.
After the funeral, despite the small gathering they had, she retreated to Jake’s room. Sitting on his bed, she cried and wished he was there to hold her. In her mind, she imagined Jake running back into his room to kiss her but after a few moments she realized that wasn’t going to happen. Lying down on his bed, she slid a hand under his pillow only to hear a small crinkle. Pulling out a small letter, she unfolded it and read slowly.
“Dear, Casey.
You’ll never know how much I love you and today, if you turn me down, I’ll be able to accept it. Nothing, though, can describe how beautiful I think you are. Maybe someday in the future we can be together but the thing is, now, I’m not sure how you feel about me. I’m getting ready to tell you I love you and I hope that with every fiber of my being that even if you don’t want to be with me, you make it out of this small town. I wish nothing but the best for you, Casey.
Love,
Jake.”
Saying that out loud would have made someone think she was crazy with a capital C. Casey was in her own little world now, where no one but her cared about the fact that he was truly gone. And after watching him fall into the blades between their machines, she couldn’t get the image out of her mind. The ambulance cleaned her off and gave her a towel, recommending to her parents that she should see a therapist for the accident but every day after that she refused.
She made a point, every day up until the funeral, to go outside. Every day, however, she just retreated right back into her bed and snuggled into Jake’s shirt that he had left behind one night. The day before the funeral, Casey tried her best to help Jake’s mother with the chairs outside their home but only stayed for a few moments. Jake’s mother looked worse than she did but the way she looked reminded her too much of him.
Now, as she sat in the very back row and hugging her knees to her chest, she thought about the times her and Jake spent arguing and how at that moment they could’ve been holding each other. She watched as Jake’s father stood at the stage, talking about his son. She watched as the casket with his body was lowered in the ground and cried to the skies, praying for God to take her instead of him. At least, that way, she knew he’d be okay without her.
After the funeral, despite the small gathering they had, she retreated to Jake’s room. Sitting on his bed, she cried and wished he was there to hold her. In her mind, she imagined Jake running back into his room to kiss her but after a few moments she realized that wasn’t going to happen. Lying down on his bed, she slid a hand under his pillow only to hear a small crinkle. Pulling out a small letter, she unfolded it and read slowly.
“Dear, Casey.
You’ll never know how much I love you and today, if you turn me down, I’ll be able to accept it. Nothing, though, can describe how beautiful I think you are. Maybe someday in the future we can be together but the thing is, now, I’m not sure how you feel about me. I’m getting ready to tell you I love you and I hope that with every fiber of my being that even if you don’t want to be with me, you make it out of this small town. I wish nothing but the best for you, Casey.
Love,
Jake.”