Restless Heart Syndrome

The day I decided to talk to Billie Joe again was also the day of his birthday. And it was also the first year since the break up. Obviously, I had not forgotten the date. I never wanted to think of it as Billie Joe’s birthday because it made me think of all of his birthdays I’d spent with him as his girlfriend. For the longest time, I wanted to forget this man existed. Which is why my relationship with Tre was nonsensical, I couldn’t really help that I fell in love with him, my emotions stirred. My subconscious whispered that I was maturing, I could feel it. I had to grow up sometime, didn’t I?

Attending Billie Joe’s birthday party appeared to be a start. The situation seemed to be perfect, my boyfriend and I would be there, along with other mutual friends and guests attending, providing a somewhat safe environment and curbing any potential outbursts.

“Hey, Tre, are you going to Billie Joe’s party tonight?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, I am. Why?” Tre asked, sitting down on the couch next to me.

“Could I go with you? I need to see Billie Joe sometime, don’t I?” I said, forcing a smile. Tre smiled at me, he leaned in kissing my cheek softly.

“Of course you can come if you want to, Audrey. It means a lot to me that you’d do this,” Tre replied, in an attempt to soothe my nerves. I smiled and nodded. I began to wonder if this was a mistake, and at the same time, I pondered the thought that this experience would be life changing. It was possible that I was over-reacting due to my nerves.

---<3---

Surprisingly, the party was going better than I expected. Billie Joe acknowledged me barely when he saw Tre and I arrive. The peace he tried to maintain was irrelevant as he walked to me while Tre’s attention was diverted. He stared at me wildly. I swore he had too much to drink and was going to act like an asshole. I hoped I was wrong.

“What are you doing here, Audrey? I thought you never wanted to see me again,” Billie Joe muttered.

“I don’t want to see you. I’m doing this for Tre, not for you,” I responded. It may have sounded cold, especially on his birthday, but did I care? Not really. God, I’m a fucking bitch.

“Well, aren’t you just little miss sunshine?” Billie Joe said sarcastically. His usually bright hazel eyes were now dull and lifeless. I couldn’t help feeling like that was my fault, and despite feeling remorse, I was more upset than remorseful.

“What the fuck are you over here for? You friends are over there. Go talk to them, they actually give a shit about what you have to say,” I spat, glaring at him. I was getting so pissed off, and the way he stood there

“I can talk to you if I want to,” Billie snapped in response. “Besides, I have something I need to ask you,” he continued. A smirk that suggested he was up to not good worked its way upon his face.

“What do you need to ask me, Billie?” I asked softly.

“Do you still love me?” He whispered, sealing the small gap between us, and none the less as the song changed to some cliché sounding love song. Before I could answer, his lips were on mine, and the people around us had started to stare. I was absolutely disgusted and slapped him across the cheek.

I wanted to leave, but I had to let him know my feelings. “How could I still love you after you did that? You disgust me,” My voice was harsh and unforgiving. His staring eyes averted from mine, to the small crowd that we had attracted, and back to my eyes again.

“You know you enjoyed that, you just don’t want to admit it,” He said snidely “There’s still something between us and you know it.”

I rolled my eyes, as I shoved past him, moving towards Tre’s direction. I didn’t care if Billie Joe was following me, he could follow me all he wanted, and I would still ignore him.

“Tre, I need to leave,” I said moodily interrupting his conversation.

“What happened Audrey?” He asked confused. Tre saw that Billie Joe was behind me. Tre was waiting for me to answer, but I could not answer him when he could ask the asshole that had caused everything.

“Ask him,” I snapped, walking away from everyone as fast as I could. Tre called my name, but I left the party as fast as I could. My legs carried me home, as it was my tendency to walk faster when I was upset.

It was maybe half an hour before I heard the key in the lock, signaling that Tre had made it home. He had a confused look on his face; apparently Billie Joe lied to his own friends now.

“So, what did Billie Joe tell you?” I asked, looking up at him, as he was standing in the doorway and I was sitting on the couch in the living room.

“He didn’t tell me anything,” He said disappointingly. “Do you want to tell me what happened tonight?”

The fact that Billie Joe was not even honest with Tre upset me even further. I bit my lip in frustration as Tre put his arms around me in an attempt to calm me down.

“He kissed me, Tre,” I muttered. While I hated Billie Joe for trying to do anything with me, I didn’t want to see Tre upset with his friend, and I felt like if anything happened to their friendship, I was the one to blame. “Billie Joe kissed me.”