Restless Heart Syndrome

Tre’s reaction was a mixture of anger and confusion. For a while, he did not say anything. He stared dully at me while he took in the thought of Billie Joe kissing me. My expression matched his; a dull and blank stare. I wondered if he could really be that surprised by this as I studied him. When I knew him, Billie Joe didn’t hide his emotions too well. If he felt something, it was voiced. Then again, it was obvious that Billie Joe was not being honest with Tre right now.

Tre sighed, as he finally responded. “I don’t know what to say, Audrey.” I could not help but feel hurt at this. The hint of betrayal that appeared in his eyes somehow made things worse. If he had said something about Billie, I would understand the betrayal, however, after what he said, it could be directed at either one of us, or both.

“I don’t know what to tell you,” I muttered under my breath. The hurt that I felt soon turned to anger. I did not want to talk to him anymore. He clearly was not understanding what ”Billie Joe kissed me.” had meant. “What are you thinking Tre?” I asked flatly.

“I don’t understand why he kissed you,” he mumbled. His gaze lingered on me for a moment before he stared down at the floor in thought. I sighed deeply as I admitted to myself that I had made a mistake in taking Billie Joe back into my life. Tre’s relationship with his friend was fucked and Billie Joe still had feelings for me.

The silence that filled the room was getting to be too much for me. I had an irresistible urge to leave and not because I was angry with Tre. I was angry with myself and Billie Joe. I had to be alone, or I had to confront Billie Joe about all of this. I looked at Tre for a moment and he looked hurt and confused. Like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, and he did not understand why that happened to him. It was then that I knew I could not stay here right now.

“Tre, I need to go out for a while,” I muttered silently. Tre looked up at me as he nodded sadly. I kissed his cheek and then I was gone. I was looking for Billie Joe. I was not going to let him get away with this. He was going to hear what I had to say regardless of if he wanted to hear it or not.

---<3---

I slammed my fist against Billie Joe’s door so hard that I pulled it back in pain. He answered the door with a grin on his face and delight in his eyes. I glared at him as I regretted coming here. It has to be done. He will not get away with this.

“I told Tre what you did,” I spat. I hoped it would have some effect on him. The knowledge that he had hurt his friend should get to him, right?

“What did he say?” He responded flatly. He picked at his nails which showed me that he did not care what Tre had to say about it.

“Obviously, you don’t care,” I snapped as I rolled my eyes in shock. It disgusted me that he did not care about his own friend and it shocked me at the same time. Were his feelings for me so strong that he would betray his friend for them?

“Of course I care,” He spat as he looked up at me. I laughed at him. He always was a terrible liar. “You have a funny way of showing that,” I said under my breath. I had hoped he heard me but from the clueless look on his face he did not.

“Well, is that all you came to tell me?” He asked after a moment of what he thought was silence.

“No. I want to know why you did what you did,” I demanded. He looked almost nervous. What the hell for? He was not nervous when he kissed me or if he was, it certainly did not show.

“Do you really need to ask that?” Billie Joe whispered. “It’s been a year and a half. You think I’d be over you,” He continued, laughing slightly.

“You’re the one that cheated, Billie,” I said, staring down at the ground. I did not want to tell him the whole story tonight, or ever. All I could hope was that he would let it go at that. Maybe he will just try to explain himself, and not ask me for any explanations. After all, I do not owe him one. Then again, maybe I do. I was once confident in my ability to make myself hate him, but I was not confident anymore. The pain conveyed in his eyes still pulled at my heart. He should not make me feel this way. I should not give a damn about his love life or how he feels about me. I am dating Tre, I have moved on. This was his fault anyway…right?

“I know I did. I get that I hurt you, but didn’t I do everything I could to make it up to you? What else did I do wrong, Audrey?” He said as he put his hand on my cheek. He stared at me intensely, trying to get what I was feeling. What I was feeling was panic; panic of telling him why I really would not forgive him for the life of me.

“I thought we were going to have a baby together,” I blurted out suddenly. I covered my mouth at the realization of what I had said. His hand dropped from my cheek while he stared in surprise at me. “I’m sorry,” I said before I did the one thing I could not fuck up in my life; run away.