Restless Heart Syndrome

Tre took me back instantly. He did not care that I was about to leave forever and had a sudden change of heart. Then I remembered that his feelings for me were real. He loved me for his own reasons. It was me who did not love him. I was the one who was there for the wrong reasons. I was the one that would end up breaking Tre’s heart someday. Surprisingly, I did not feel bad for doing this, and that was what bothered me the most about the situation.

Despite my feelings for him, I still avoided Billie Joe unless Tre wanted to see him, which was not often anymore. That was the one thing I did feel bad about. I felt like it was my fault Billie Joe and Tre were not as close as they used to be; like I had destroyed their friendship. I had done well with keeping my self calm when Billie Joe was around. That is, until my second anniversary with Tre.

Tre had invited his closest friends, Billie Joe included despite their differences, for a small party. I found it odd as he did not do this for our first anniversary, or had Billie Joe done it at all during our five year relationship. However, I thought nothing more of it and accepted what it was; a celebration of the ‘love’ we shared for two years now.

Billie Joe and I were staring at each other from across the room most of the time, despite it being a party for Tre and me. After a while, I gathered up the courage to talk to him. I made my way over to him as a small smile formed on his face. I faintly smiled back as I was happy to see him.

“Thank you for coming,” I said politely. That was my excuse for talking to him. After all, I had been avoiding him for the most part ever since that day, and I doubted he would think I legitimately wanted to talk to him about anything else.

“That’s your excuse for talking to me?” Billie Joe said laughing slightly.

“Why else would I talk to you?” I question defensively.

“I’m not too sure of that, but I know you didn’t come all the way over here just to thank me for coming,” He responded. I realized that as far as Billie Joe was concerned, I was fucked. I may as well just let him know the truth. One less thing for me to worry about, right? One less person to hide the truth from.

I checked around the room to be sure no one – namely Tre – was looking in this general direction. Once I had made sure no one was looking, I grabbed Billie Joe’s arm and led him outside. This I could get away with, however, what I wanted to do could not be hidden. Someone would notice, someone would tell Tre, and then I would really be fucked. At least I knew Billie Joe would keep a secret; in this matter at least. He would not tell Tre something that would destroy any chance of him having what he wanted, even if Tre was his friend.

Billie Joe opened his mouth to speak as I caught him off guard with a gentle, yet passionate, kiss on the lips. “You were right, Billie. I love you. You’re the reason I stayed, not Tre,” I said quietly as I looked down at the ground. I felt somewhat ashamed of myself for letting it out all so easily after I had spend the past two years avoiding him like the plague.

Billie Joe lifted my head with his fingers as he smiled at me. “I…” He was cut off by Mike walking outside. “Audrey, Tre wants to see you,” he said awkwardly as he took note of the way Billie Joe and I looked at each other. He knew Billie Joe longer than Tre had, and he obviously knew what was going on. I did not doubt that Billie Joe had talked to Mike about it at least once. I smiled and nodded as I pulled away from Billie Joe. I could not hear the conversation, but Mike began talking to Billie Joe as they both followed slowly behind me back to the party. I could only hope that Mike, if Billie Joe had told him anything, would be able to keep this a secret. For now, this was between Billie Joe and I, and only us. It had to stay that way, at least for now.

Tre softly kissed my cheek as I walked inside while a forced smile made its way on my face. People around us smiled and so did Tre.

“I have an important question for you,” Tre spoke nervously. Oh, fuck no. Please let it be anything but that.

“What is it?” I asked with a smile glued to my face.

“Will you marry me?” Tre asked bluntly. He was never really the type to drag things out. It was his timing that failed miserably, I saw Billie Joe’s face when he spoke those words, and I could not take it. I stared at Tre blankly before I muttered a quick ‘I’m sorry’ and ran away from him for the second time in six months.