Shadows

I wake up in the guest room.
I wake up in the guest room, I stare at his backpack in the corner.

I hear his loud yawn in the hallway.
I hear his loud yawn in the hallway, nearing my direction.

“Carson?” Alex waits for no reply, he pushes the door open.

I close my eyes, pretending to sleep.
I close my eyes, pretending to sleep because I don’t want to be with him.

“Are you up yet?” Alex asks loudly.

I do not move.
I do not make a sound.

The opposite side of the bed sinks down.
The opposite side of the bed sinks down and creaks.

“Carson.” Alex says plainly, leaning over me.

I stay still.
I stay silent.

“Carson! Wake up! It’s Christmas!” Alex fakes excitement and bounces beside me.

I play dead.

“Carson, I really need you to do me a favor and wake up.”

I roll onto my side.
I roll onto my side to hide my smile from him.

“Carson.” Alex whispers, his breath slashing the side of my face. “Carson.”

Alex exhales.
Alex exhales, his breath hits my neck.
Alex exhales, his breath hits my neck, tickling me.

“Does that bother you, Carson?” Alex asks smiling and pinning me down.

I squirm.
I squirm, trying to escape.
I squirm, trying to escape and failing.

Alex exhales.
Alex exhales, his breath hits my neck.
Alex exhales, his breath hits my neck, tickling me.

I cover my face.
I cover my smile.
I cover my bliss.

Sunlight streams through the blinds, turning his eyes into chocolate diamonds.
Sunlight streams through the blinds, turning his hair into brilliant waves.
Sunlight streams through the blinds, turning his skin into human gold.
Sunlight streams through the blinds, turning him into the Alex that steals my heart.

“Why are you hiding, Carson? Why are you hiding?” he asks, laughing and attacking my sides with his fingers.

I try to push him off me.
I kick my legs out.
I gasp for air.

Why is Alex in such a good mood?

‘Stop!’ I mouth.
‘Stop!’ I plead.
‘Stop!’ I beg.

Alex stops.
Alex stops, keeping me pinned under him.

He stares down at me.
My blue eyes.
I stare back up at him.
His brown eyes.

He smiles down at me.
Two crooked teeth.
I smile back up at him.
Not a tooth out of line.

The speed of my heart beats quicken.
The depths of my breaths become shallow.

Alex leans down.
Alex leans down, making my heart stop.
Alex leans down, making my heart stop, until his face is inches from mine.

“We’re going out today.” He whispers with a smirk.

He throws one leg over me.
He throws one leg over me and hops off the bed.

He leaves.

I am Carson McCoy.
I am screwed.