Shadows

The sun is setting, casting pinks and oranges across the neighborhood sky.
The neighborhood calmer at this time. The noise level has dropped.
It’s the time when all the families are relaxing.
It’s the time when most of the kids go in.

In my house, my haven, it’s extra quiet.
Dave is working late. Viv took Lily to visit Dave’s parents.
I am alone.

I am reading, alone in my room when I hear it.
I hear the front door open with a thud, meaning it hit the table.
I hear a loud crash and I jump up, the corner of lips turn down in a frown.
Thoughts race through my mind at the speed of light.

Vivian is home and she fell. Vivian fell over the rug in the hall.
Vivian fell and she could be hurt. Vivian fell and the babies could be hurt.
I run through the hall when another genre of thoughts enter my head.
Someone broke in, someone is robbing the house.
Someone broke in, someone is going to kill me.
I halt in the middle of the staircase. I want to turn around and hide.
The thought of Viv being hurt, or the babies being hurt pushes me forward.

I peek my head around the corner, this could be the end.
I could die now. I could die as soon as they see me.
I can die without speaking another word.
I can die without thanking Viv and Dave.
I can die without telling Lily that I won’t let anything hurt her.
I can die before I meet my two nephew.
I can die before speaking to Alex.

I shake my head as the last though enter’s my mind.
I don’t want to think of Alex like that.
I don’t want to think of Alex in general.

I round the corner finally and find just the person I didn’t want to see.
I furrow my eyebrows watch from a distance as Alex struggle to pick himself up, laughing.
Finally, Alex stands and sees me. I stare hard at him, why is here now?

“Carrrson! Vuh-iv wanted me ta chu-eck on youuu.” Alex’s words slur together, a happy smile plastered to his face.

Alex walks, Alex stumbles closer to me and swings his arms around me.
Alex hugs me, every muscle in my body tenses due to contact.
My skin feels itchy all over, and I barely breathe. I am terrified.
The scent of alcohol rolls off of him and crashes into me. Like angry waves hitting rocks.

I stand shock still while Alex releases me.
I stand shock still while Alex stumbles away.
I stand shock still while I hear Alex vomit all over the kitchen floor.
I stand shock still while I hear Alex’s body hit the floor...hard.

I move quickly, feeling unusually concerned about the monster.
I move quickly, finding Alex unconscious on the kitchen floor, laying on his back in his own vomit.
I am terrified as he chokes up more vomit and it falls down his chin and onto his black shirt.
I am terrified as I roll him onto his side to keep him from being suffocated by his own vomit.
My hands shake when I notice the manner in which Alex’s body was shaking.
My hands shake when I notice the manner in which Alex’s breathing had slowed increasingly.
My hands shake when I text message my sister and instruct her to call an ambulance.

I watch in horror as Alex’s body convulses on the floor.
I watch in horror as the paramedics come busting through the door and flood into the kitchen.
I feel useless when they ask me questions and I can’t speak, I have to write.
I feel useless when they rush Alex out of the house and I can’t go with him like they wanted.

I watch in horror out the window as the ambulance drives away fast, with sirens blaring.
I feel useless when Vivian comes home and finds me shaking with fear.

I am useless.
I am Carson.