Luck to Change

“Get out,” he growled dangerously as his black hair slacked over his eyes, giving him a much more sinister appearance. When she didn’t move from her spot, he straightened up from his place in the closet and angrily barked, “I said get the fuck out!”

Whimpering, she took a frightened step back and stuttered, “B-but Nikki, we’re engaged. You can’t just tell me to leave.”

Nikki bore yet another crazed look that she had seen many times before. Pushing himself up, he stumbled towards her. She screamed pitifully as Nikki roughly grabbed her arm and began dragging her through the mansion.

He tightened his grip on her when she tried to pull loose. Scared, she pushed at his arm and made attempts to hit him, anything to shake him off, but he would not budge.

“Look, Vanity,” he snarled, and she winced at the iciness in his tone, “I don’t want you. All you wanna do is rat out every fucking thing I do to the media. I don’t fucking trust you.”

With tearful eyes, Vanity let each warm liquid drop fall gracefully down her tanned cheeks. She didn’t know what to do, how to handle this situation. “Nikki, I love you. You know I would never do anything to harm you in any way,” she soothed, hoping he would calm down and let her go.

“Bull shit, and I don’t buy it,” he tugged her harshly, and she briefly heard the slam of the wooden front door as he plied it open. “And when I say get the fuck out, I mean, get the fuck out!” he screeched as he shoved her roughly out the door.

Landing on the cold pavement, Vanity let out a pain filled cry. She laid there for a moment, not knowing what to do. She loved this man, much more than she loved the drugs. Marriage was promised to her, and denied each and every time, but she would let it go, if in the privacy of their house, Nikki would continue to be loving to her.

Crying to herself, she whispered sadly, “Fine, I get it. I’m gone.”

Laying on the bench, Vanity stared blankly at the dark and cloudy sky. It was going to rain, and she knew it. Putting her arm over her eyes, she covered them as a drop of rain descended from the heavens above.

“Why are you crying God?” she murmured in question, still protecting her once vibrant eyes. “Has one of your angels betrayed you?”

Vanity already knew the answer before the question was asked. She already knew which angel it was that had betrayed the love of the Holy Jesus above. It was her.

Her angel wings had been long since clipped from her back, but it wasn’t by the hands of God, no. Those pure white feathery wings had been stripped of its person when she chose to betray Him, when she chose to turn her back on the only person who loved her, ever so sincerely.

Vanity let the cold water soak her to the bone. This was her punishment; she would let the heavens above punish her for allowing herself to once again fall into the dirty, grimy hands of corruption. It had been a long eighteen years since the final argument between Nikki and herself, but Vanity still remembered it as clear as night and day.

She remembered it as a reminder of what she had let herself fall into, of how much more she needed to fight. She remembered it because it was one of the biggest turning points in her life. That night, when Nikki had roughly shoved her out of the door, and ultimately out of his life, the first place she had gone to was a church.

Vanity begged for forgiveness, and for salvation. She was given both and asked to remain free from corruption and to stay pure for the love of His Holiness.

That night, she had promised to change, promised to remain good in His eyes, His beautiful eyes that loved so dearly. But she had broken that vow but five years ago. Now, she wasn’t so sure on whether or not she would be loved and forgiven a second time.

She was too fearful to beg for it, so she continued on down the spiral she had created for herself.

In the thundering of the downpour, a softly playing tune suddenly caught her attention. Vanity strained her tired body to reach out to the sound. She struggled to hear the words that perfected the sound. And, suddenly, like somebody had switched up the volume, she heard it.

That beautiful sound.

“I don’t want to die out here in the valley,
You don’t have to lie,
I know that’s what I’ll do.
I don’t want my mom to know,
That I never loved my life,
And I sold my soul.”

Vanity’s eyes widened. Her dark, matted hair fell into her face as she stared down at the muddy grass beneath the bench. It was as though He were speaking to her again, calling His beloved child and telling her to save herself and to follow this mysterious tune.

And follow it, she did.

Slumping up, she fell off the bench and walked down the muddy path as the music grew louder, louder, louder. Heart pumping quickly, Vanity came to a stop at a recreational center. The door was wide open, as if it had anticipated her appearance before she herself had known it.

Shuffling in, she sat quietly in the back and watched the performance, the magical performance. In a trance, she just barely noticed the man with the black hair slacked into his eyes, staring straight at her in shock. Just barely.

Glancing over, catching each others eyes, they both continued to stare, eyes firmly locked on one another. Throughout the rest of the song, he didn’t take his eyes off of her. She didn’t remove her eyes from his healthy body.

Once the song was through, the band walked off of the small stage and begun walking around, conversing with a different person. She could easily tell that this group brought change, a great change to a great many people.

However, the only person he came to talk to, was all the way in the back, sitting, frozen from the rainfall. Coming to a halt in front of Vanity, he sat down.

His eyes had changed, she concluded. For the better as well, they were much more livelier than they had once been when she had been around. She had heard he got off the drugs. Now, she supposed it really hadn’t been a silly rumor.

“Nikki,” she softly murmured.

“Vanity, what are you doing here?” he softly questioned, ghosting a concerned hand onto her shoulder.

Vanity gave a numb smile, “God told me to. He’s giving me a second chance.” When he shot her yet another confused look, she continued softly, “I was on the park bench, and I faintly heard the sound, and He turned it up so I could hear the words. It was His calling to me.”

He nodded in understanding, but still seemed so confused. “What would He be calling you for? Why would He need to give you a second chance? You got off the drugs too, I heard.”

She shook her head in a shameful manner. “When you tossed me out, I went to a church, and it took awhile, but I was good in His eyes. Five years ago, I turned my back on Him and started again. I sold my soul to the drugs.”

“Oh, Vanity,” Nikki shook his head sadly, understanding her explanation partly. “But why would our song be your second calling?”

Vanity looked him over, and in that moment, she swore she felt a deep admiration for Nikki that she had never felt before. He got out of the corruption, he was saved, and he did it all on his own and stayed good. She wished so strongly that she could go back to being good, but she was bad.

“I don’t want to die out here in the valley,” she softly recited. Looking him point blank in the eyes, he held the shock to himself when he saw the blankness in her eyes and the tears that overwhelmed them. “Nikki, I don’t wanna die without having actually lived. I wanna be good, but I don’t know what to do. Your song, it gave me courage,” she whimpered as a tear fell from her eye. Vanity shook her head, “I don’t want to die, and I don’t know how long this courage will last.”

“Vanity,” Nikki soothingly whispered. He moved over onto the seat beside her and enveloped her in a loving and comforting hug. “Sh,” he whispered as she softly cried into his neck. “We’ll get you help, baby. You’ll be alright, you won’t die,” he assured her.

“I wanna be new again,” she said, muffled into his neck, and he soothingly shushed her, calming her down as he cooed into her ear.

“You’ll be okay.”