We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us
Chapter Thirty Five
Gerard's POV
I realised that Mikey wasn't coming back, no matter how long I stayed up that night. He obviously need some time to just be alone and think, but I just wished he could clear the air. I curled up miserably in the iodine-smelling sheets, and created myself a cave. I smiled bitterly. When we were young, me and Mikey used to play caves, when Dad was still around, and he and Mum were forever fighting. We'd lock ourselves in the room, instructions from our Mum and not to open the door til morning no matter what, and bury ourselves under the sheets with a flashlight and our Superhero figurines. Sometimes we'd stay up the whole night just playing and talking, until it was time for school. I laughed at the memory of us falling asleep at our desks the day after, but we never regretted playing caves, and would be at it again the following night. It was our special time, and when we were in the safe comfort of our down quilts, no one in the world existed except us. And all our fears and worries were left outside the quilts, and we became young, carefree boys again, in our little cave. A sharp pain tugged at my heart, and it pulled all the way up to my eyes until tears squeezed out. I dashed them away furiously. Now me and Mikey might never share that love and comfort again.
Mikey's POV
I sat curled up in the hospital playroom in one of the little tents, squeezing my eyes shut. When I opened them, the glowing fluorescent colors of the tent swirled around me, threatening to make me dizzy. It was deserted, it being 3am. Giving me space and time to think. The ache in my heart ws unbearable. Each time I thought of dear Lilly laughing with me, us being so happy, my heart broke over and over again. The pain, it couldn't stop. How many times have I felt this way at once, I couldn't remember. My heart was wounded, and it felt like it could never heal.
Stop wallowing in self pity, fool! Pull yourself together!
I slapped myself. I had to straighten up my mind. It was either I forgive Gerard, my brother and lover, but I could not completely forget, and still hold respect for Lilly. Or I could retreat into myself, dying away from him, and spend the rest of my life mourning for my dead friend, becoming a shell to humanity. Then, the answer became quite clear to me. But I couldn't go back and see him. Not quite yet. I wiped the tears that were flowing unceasingly down my face and hiccuped a few times, and lay down on a giant teddy bear, difting off into a tired sleep, to be plagued with my decision until my eyes opened.
I realised that Mikey wasn't coming back, no matter how long I stayed up that night. He obviously need some time to just be alone and think, but I just wished he could clear the air. I curled up miserably in the iodine-smelling sheets, and created myself a cave. I smiled bitterly. When we were young, me and Mikey used to play caves, when Dad was still around, and he and Mum were forever fighting. We'd lock ourselves in the room, instructions from our Mum and not to open the door til morning no matter what, and bury ourselves under the sheets with a flashlight and our Superhero figurines. Sometimes we'd stay up the whole night just playing and talking, until it was time for school. I laughed at the memory of us falling asleep at our desks the day after, but we never regretted playing caves, and would be at it again the following night. It was our special time, and when we were in the safe comfort of our down quilts, no one in the world existed except us. And all our fears and worries were left outside the quilts, and we became young, carefree boys again, in our little cave. A sharp pain tugged at my heart, and it pulled all the way up to my eyes until tears squeezed out. I dashed them away furiously. Now me and Mikey might never share that love and comfort again.
Mikey's POV
I sat curled up in the hospital playroom in one of the little tents, squeezing my eyes shut. When I opened them, the glowing fluorescent colors of the tent swirled around me, threatening to make me dizzy. It was deserted, it being 3am. Giving me space and time to think. The ache in my heart ws unbearable. Each time I thought of dear Lilly laughing with me, us being so happy, my heart broke over and over again. The pain, it couldn't stop. How many times have I felt this way at once, I couldn't remember. My heart was wounded, and it felt like it could never heal.
Stop wallowing in self pity, fool! Pull yourself together!
I slapped myself. I had to straighten up my mind. It was either I forgive Gerard, my brother and lover, but I could not completely forget, and still hold respect for Lilly. Or I could retreat into myself, dying away from him, and spend the rest of my life mourning for my dead friend, becoming a shell to humanity. Then, the answer became quite clear to me. But I couldn't go back and see him. Not quite yet. I wiped the tears that were flowing unceasingly down my face and hiccuped a few times, and lay down on a giant teddy bear, difting off into a tired sleep, to be plagued with my decision until my eyes opened.