We're Just Two Men As God Had Made Us
Chapter Thirty Six
Mikey's POV
"He looks like a drug addict..."
"...wake up..."
I felt something poking me repeatedly, and I heard tinny sounding voices in my ear. I opened my eyes blearily and saw blurred faces under my nose. Springing back, I successfully knocked over a huge doll and it's hat fell off and landed on my head. I heard the resonant laughter erupt around me, and I was strongly reminded of when I was being bullied back in high school. Adjusting my askewed glasses, I saw two children laughing at me against a fluorescent background. What the hell... Suddenly, I realised where I was. In the nursery. At 10 in the morning. Gerard!
"FUCK!" I bolted out of the tent and ran out of the room, aware that I had just taught the innocent boys and girls in the room a new obscenity. Uh oh. I hope their moms weren't anywhere around...
Gerard's POV
I looked up as the door came crashing in.I dashed my hospital-robed-arm across my face and turned away, pretending that I wasn't crying my heart out. I breathed steadily, trying to control my breathing and pretend that I was sleeping. Then I heard a soft voice, barely a whisper, breathe.
"Gerard..."
My eyes shot open, and I whirled around, tangling myself up in the bedsheets.
"Mikey?" I gasped. "What are you doing here??" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. I couldn't believe that he was here. What I did to him. To him heart, was unspeakable, and there he was, standing in front of me. My heart beat loud and fast, and I was sure he was able to hear it's panicked quickening. My brother was so brave, to be doing this... To speak to his best friend's... Murderer. That was what I was, a murderer. My heart clenched, and I fought tears of guilt and pain, holding them back.
"Tell me, Gerard, do you remember what I said to you, the last time we were here, in this position?" He asked softly, meeting my eyes. I shook my head, confused. He continued, face unreadable.
"I said,
"I will NEVER leave you. Not for ANYTHING in the world."
I looked up, and for a fleeting moment, hope touched my heart. Then, I realised what he was going to do, and I dropped my head, my shoulders drooping. He was going to take it back... All of it. I could hold the tears back no longer. They spilled down my face, unchecked and vanished into my robe. Vanished, like all hope I had left that Mikey possibly loved me. Who would love a murderer?
"And... Gerard, look at me." I looked up into his impenetrable gaze, my eyes defeated.
"And... It still stands." He concluded firmly. I blinked. What did he say? I must've heard wrongly. But when I looked into his eyes, I realised that what I heard was right, because in my life, I've never seen this in anyone's eyes. Forgiveness. And that was what filled my Mikey's. And now, my eyes were filling up again with something else. Tears.
But they were not tears of pain, and plagued with all hurt to destroy a man, but of joy, relief, but confusion. I spoke, unsure, hardly daring to question him.
"But... Why?" His answer was simple.
"Everyone deserves forgiveness Gerard, and remember, I've always loved you, and always will."
My heart flooded with joy and relief, and I felt it grow warm and glow, and beat with the rhthym of happiness and love. I held out my arms, and he ran into them, and there we stayed for the longest time, just embracing each other's warm, and radiated love. No exchanging of words needed, we understood each other's breathing, heartbeat, and we held a special connection, that, no matter how it was tested, tried and beaten with trials, and no matter how much it thinned and wavered, it would never diminish, ever.
"He looks like a drug addict..."
"...wake up..."
I felt something poking me repeatedly, and I heard tinny sounding voices in my ear. I opened my eyes blearily and saw blurred faces under my nose. Springing back, I successfully knocked over a huge doll and it's hat fell off and landed on my head. I heard the resonant laughter erupt around me, and I was strongly reminded of when I was being bullied back in high school. Adjusting my askewed glasses, I saw two children laughing at me against a fluorescent background. What the hell... Suddenly, I realised where I was. In the nursery. At 10 in the morning. Gerard!
"FUCK!" I bolted out of the tent and ran out of the room, aware that I had just taught the innocent boys and girls in the room a new obscenity. Uh oh. I hope their moms weren't anywhere around...
Gerard's POV
I looked up as the door came crashing in.I dashed my hospital-robed-arm across my face and turned away, pretending that I wasn't crying my heart out. I breathed steadily, trying to control my breathing and pretend that I was sleeping. Then I heard a soft voice, barely a whisper, breathe.
"Gerard..."
My eyes shot open, and I whirled around, tangling myself up in the bedsheets.
"Mikey?" I gasped. "What are you doing here??" The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. I couldn't believe that he was here. What I did to him. To him heart, was unspeakable, and there he was, standing in front of me. My heart beat loud and fast, and I was sure he was able to hear it's panicked quickening. My brother was so brave, to be doing this... To speak to his best friend's... Murderer. That was what I was, a murderer. My heart clenched, and I fought tears of guilt and pain, holding them back.
"Tell me, Gerard, do you remember what I said to you, the last time we were here, in this position?" He asked softly, meeting my eyes. I shook my head, confused. He continued, face unreadable.
"I said,
"I will NEVER leave you. Not for ANYTHING in the world."
I looked up, and for a fleeting moment, hope touched my heart. Then, I realised what he was going to do, and I dropped my head, my shoulders drooping. He was going to take it back... All of it. I could hold the tears back no longer. They spilled down my face, unchecked and vanished into my robe. Vanished, like all hope I had left that Mikey possibly loved me. Who would love a murderer?
"And... Gerard, look at me." I looked up into his impenetrable gaze, my eyes defeated.
"And... It still stands." He concluded firmly. I blinked. What did he say? I must've heard wrongly. But when I looked into his eyes, I realised that what I heard was right, because in my life, I've never seen this in anyone's eyes. Forgiveness. And that was what filled my Mikey's. And now, my eyes were filling up again with something else. Tears.
But they were not tears of pain, and plagued with all hurt to destroy a man, but of joy, relief, but confusion. I spoke, unsure, hardly daring to question him.
"But... Why?" His answer was simple.
"Everyone deserves forgiveness Gerard, and remember, I've always loved you, and always will."
My heart flooded with joy and relief, and I felt it grow warm and glow, and beat with the rhthym of happiness and love. I held out my arms, and he ran into them, and there we stayed for the longest time, just embracing each other's warm, and radiated love. No exchanging of words needed, we understood each other's breathing, heartbeat, and we held a special connection, that, no matter how it was tested, tried and beaten with trials, and no matter how much it thinned and wavered, it would never diminish, ever.