You're Gonna Love Me

“Guess what?” I asked as I sat down opposite Gerard, he looked up from his lunch.

“You’ve finally realized that I’m twenty times more good looking than you are?” he asked, a smirk on his face. I just looked at him, one eyebrow raised, he chuckled lightly. “What? It’s true,” he smirked. I scoffed and leaned forward.

“No. I think you’ll find that you’re going to have to come to terms with that factor a lot sooner than I am.” I told him confidently, and sat back in my seat. He just looked at me, a confused expression on his face.

“What’s that supposed to mean exactly?” he asked.

“I got my history essay back.” I replied with a smile, his face fell slightly.

“Oh.” He replied awkwardly, looking back down at his lunch.

“Gerard, if you really don’t want go out on a date with me all you have to do is say!” I told him, taking a few of his fries and popping them into my mouth.

“I never said that-.”

“You didn’t need to.” I told him, he sighed and leant forward slightly.

“Look,” he began, locking eyes with me. “You’re a great guy, and normally, I wouldn’t back out on a promise, but I don’t want you turning this into something more than it actually is. I’m straight, Frank, and that’s how it’s going to stay. Don’t get me wrong, I like you, really I do. But I don’t want you to be under the false pretense that this is ever going to turn into anything more than just friends just because we go on one date. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I think it’d be easier if we didn’t.” he told me.

“Gerard, don’t lie to me, if you don’t want to date me then fine.” I told him. I sighed and stood back up again. “I guess I’ll just go. Thanks for the help and everything.” I mumbled.

“Frank, I never meant it like that, don’t be like this.” Gerard said softly

“Be like what? You clearly think that I’m unable of being around you without thinking about what it would be like to date you, and that obviously bothers you. So I’m easing your conscience, by not being around you at all.” I told him.

“Alright, now you’re just being ridiculous! There’s nothing stopping us being friends!”

“Well you seem to think there is.”

“I don’t! I just think that if we were to go on a date, then it would make things awkward and that you’d always be expecting more from me, and… you’re not gonna get it.”

“Who said I even wanted it?”

“You did when you asked me out on that damn date in the first place!”

“Yes, on the condition that I got an A!”

“Wait… you didn’t get it?” he asked slowly. I sighed and set the paper down on the table in front of him.

“Yes, I got it.” I replied as his gaze fell on the large red ‘A’ on the top of the page. “But that isn’t really the issue is it?”

“Frank, there wouldn’t be an issue if you weren’t making this one!”

“I wouldn’t be making this one if you would just be straight with me!”

“Fine! I don’t wanna date you! Happy now?” he asked, I didn’t reply. “That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“No, it doesn’t. But clearly us being friends is awkward for you, so I’m gonna make it a whole lot easier for you by saying, we’re no longer friends. I’m sure there’s someone around here who’ll be friends with you without falling in love with you, and me… well I’m fine on my own.” I told him. “I’ll see you around,” I muttered, and with that I headed out of the cafeteria.

Why was it that this always happened to me? I’d know from the beginning that he didn’t want to date me, but I’d thought that he’d just get over it if we got to know each other. Obviously I was wrong. Maybe Mikey was right, I’m just not the kind of person that people want to date. I use people and I break their hearts, no wonder Gerard didn’t want to date me. I sighed to myself as I put my books into my locker. If that was the person people thought I was, then I wasn’t going to disappoint them.