People Got A Lotta Nerve

I guess you could say Oliver was my boyfriend at that point.

About as close to it as we could get, anyways.

We had played in the sand a little while longer, enough for it to get in my hair and somehow inside my clothes, sticking to my skin like I was covered in glue. He laughed, I laughed, enough for his smile to finally become etched in my mind, committed to memory. Thank God, I was going to need it.

As we were driving home in my car, Oliver's hand enveloping my tiny fingers, as I guided the car down the streets using one hand, he told me when he was leaving, exactly. Unfortunately, my hours were limited, but I guess that's the life of being some famous rock star. There are some people who love having space when in a relationship, who love having a separate place for all of their thoughts and all of their stuff: a safe, designated space for breathing room. I guess these people would do best in a relationship with someone like Oliver, someone who was gone for weeks at a time. However, I couldn't think of a single type of person who would be okay knowing their boyfriend was having women thrown at him every single night. The thought made my stomach quiver and do nauseous flips, my grip on Oliver's fingers loosening slightly as I pulled into my driveway.

Oliver responded by squeezing my hand extra tight, his thumb rubbing across the top of my hand gently. "Are you alright, love?"

"Does it really have to be Thursday...tomorrow?" I whispered, turning the car off, the low hum of the engine dying, the sound of crickets and frogs now filling up the empty space.

"It was supposed to be yesterday, but I pushed it back. Scheduled that interview..."

"So why cant you reschedule, and then stay longer? Just a little bit longer..." I kept my eyes fixed on the steering wheel, the car logo becoming an easy resting point for my tired eyes.

"We're already so behind..." He sighed, leaning over in his seat so that his elbow rested on the middle compartment. His lips found my cheek, and kissed me softly. "Don't be sad, please. Its only 3 weeks."

I leaned into his kiss, even if it was just on the cheek. I turned my head so that the kiss was now placed on the corner of my lips, just slightly off center. "3 weeks, but then you're in Sheffield."

"I'll fly you to Sheffield." He said matter of factly, as if it wasn't the scariest thing on the planet.

I reeled back away from his lips, my head hitting the glass window of the drivers side door with a loud crash. I cried in pain, rubbing the tender spot gently. Oliver just stayed silent as I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel, still rubbing the sore spot on the back of my head.

"Is it really that bad?!" Oliver finally busted out laughing, my face still contorted in pain.

"I have been your girlfriend for what, like 20 minutes, and you cant even comfort me?!" I moaned dramatically, playfully knocking Oliver's hands away as he tried to pull me close to him.

"Christian! England is not some godforsaken place! You'll like it! I swear!"

"Well I don't think fire breathing dragons or something live there!"

"Well, duh. Knights took care of those way back in the day, love."

"Ugh, Oliver!" I hit him playfully in the arm, my head still throbbing in pain. "I'm more worried about having to meet your family!"

"Oh, like Tom? Well, let me tell you about him. He's really cool, okay? He's very anti-establishment. He enjoys sunset walks on the beach, punching people, and not smiling."

"Really?! He's going to hate me!" I wailed even louder, my forehead crashing into the steering wheel, this round of pain deliberate. I was simply accepting defeat. "He's going to punch me!! And like it!!"

"Aww, love! Don't hurt yourself! He'll be sure to punch softly, you are a bird, you know!"

I glared at him from behind my curtain of hair. "You are insufferable, Oliver Sykes."

"I try my best. The ladies love it. You especially."

I rolled my eyes, before finally opening the car door. "Somehow, I do. Come inside, lets make this one last night together count."

Before I could even get up the driveway, Oliver was racing up to the front door, making me smile and blush red all over my neck and cheeks.

-----

Oliver did his best to wake me gently, even if it was 7 in the morning, not my favorite time of day. I had felt the bed shift gently as he stirred, his arms releasing me as I rolled gently onto my side of the bed, no longer in his embrace. I kept my eyes closed, not wanting to be awake, but I could still sense him moving around my room, tip toeing and trying his best to not wake me. His belt buckle clanged annoyingly as he buckled it, his jeans sliding on effortlessly. He whispered a curse word as his lip rings got caught on the neckline of his shirt, but that was the most he said. Finally, when he was just about to go, he laid back down on the bed, his shoes hanging over. He knew I was a neat freak, and shoes on my bed was definitely a no-no, as he learned the hard way the first night he was in here. He reached out, a hand gently smoothing down my tangled hair that clung to my neck and shoulders. He brushed it down with his fingers, his lips pressing against my neck as he whispered my name, trying to wake me.

I stirred, my eyes still closed. I could feel his arm wrap around me, the breath coming from his nose still warm on my neck. I smiled, and turned over onto my back, so he was leaning over me, stomach down on the bed.

"You are absolutely beautiful." He whispered, chills running down my spine, even if the jersey sheets were keeping me warm.

"You're a damn good liar." I smiled wider, my eyes opening for the first time that day. "It's morning, I'm never decent till 12."

"You're biased. You're beautiful, love."

"And you're not biased?"

He smiled, kissing my lips softly. "I see you still have your attitude in the morning."

"It never sleeps." I wanted to open my mouth, to deepen the kiss, but I knew I had morning breath, and I definitely did not want to scare him away right before he was going to embark on tour again.

"Babe...you gotta drive me to the hotel."

I sighed, kind of annoyed that the conversation had to take such a drastic turn for the worse, but I knew he was right. I was his ride, something I volunteered for the night before, desperate to spend as much time with him as possible before he left. All the boys were at the hotel, doing their thing, waiting for their front man. For a split second, I let myself wonder what the consequences would be if I simply kidnapped Oliver, driving him away to somewhere exotic and beautiful instead of to the stupid hotel. I could keep him locked up and away from the world, far from fangirls, groupies, anything.

And that's when I noticed it....Good Christian was gone.

Normally, I'd expect her to call me a complete creeper for considering kidnapping Oliver and keeping him all to myself, but for the first time in what felt like years, my conscious was silent...there was no one inside there but me. I know it sounds incredibly schizophrenic and all, but its like all my self doubts, and all of my self esteem issues that had manifested themselves for all of these years, since Evan was diagnosed, and since Evan had died, had finally disappeared. It was like I was finally at peace.

Even though my body was angrily protesting, I somehow managed to get out of my bed, and put on a simple v-neck and jeans, the easiest clothing I had. While it may have been nice to dress up for Oliver leaving, the fact that it was 7am prevented any of that, and all I really wanted to do was go to bed….and not let Oliver go.

We reached the car, his overnight bag fitting easily in the backseat. His hair was everywhere, as usual, the dark brown locks curling haphazardly around his face and neck. We both probably looked like wrecks, but to me, he looked absolutely perfect. The grip he had on my hand was incredible; I wouldn’t be able to break it even if I wanted to. But, the look on his face was completely opposite; he looked calm and content, even if his grip was on the brink of cutting off my circulation. I didn’t mind though, I wanted him to hold onto me tight, to not forget about me, be it holding my hand extra tight or not letting me go when he finished up the tour.

By the time we reached the hotel, my car pulled up silently behind the bus, which was currently being loaded to the brim by various roadies. Oliver and I hadn’t spoken since we left my house, but I was okay with that. The silence was perfect, everything we needed to say seemed to be communicated through our body language. I nearly died when his finger gently caressed my cheek when we stopped at red lights, we both laughed under our breath as we shot each other nervous glances the entire way there.

“Oi, lovebirds, you made it!” Matt yelled, waving excitedly at us from inside the hotel lobby. There next to him were the rest of the guys, huddled up in their hoodies and sweatshirts, clearly wishing they were asleep. Well, they were all like that, except for Matt, who was waving like a crazy person to us and blasting his ipod ridiculously loud. Poor Lee, who was stuck sitting next to him, looked like he was going to bash his head in at any second.

Oliver and I waved back, before walking inside to join them. We were still hand in hand, Oliver pulling me onto his lap as he sat down next to Curtis, who was completely passed out, the hood of his sweatshirt keeping the light out of his face.

“Don’t wake him,” Lee warned, whispering. “Matt woke him up at 4am, making up some fake fire alarm bullshit story.”

Oliver smiled, trying his hardest not to laugh, as I gazed at Curtis, instantly feeling his pain.

“Oliver,” I whispered, fitting my face into the crook of his neck.

“Hmm?”

“Blake is going to hate me.”

“Aww, why baby?”

“Cause, the entire time you’re going to be gone, I’m going to be all sad and depressed and wallowing in my own self pity, and you’re going to be out all over the country doing what you love having the best time ever, totally enjoying your time without me.”

“No, that won’t be how it happens at all.” He laughed softly, wrapping me tight in his arms. “You are going to be fine. You’re going to finish up your year in school and have a few summer weeks to yourself, and then I will get you that plane ticket and we will be together again.” His smile was contagious, even if it was weak.

“Just try and remember me, okay?” I looked up at him, our eyes locking.

“I promise, you’ll be on my mind more than you think.”

“You know you’re going to make me miss you even more if you continue saying stuff that makes me smile, Oliver.”

“Should I be a complete asshole to you then?” He beamed, kissing my forehead softly.

“No….I guess I’ll just have to miss you, I guess…” I rested my head on his chest again, trying to inhale as much of his scent as possible, so I could have one more thing to remember him by.

“You know I am going to miss you an insane amount as well.”

“Yeah, well you get an escape from missing me. You get to do all those shows.”

“No, I won’t. There isn’t an escape. Trust me, I’ve tried to find it.”

“You shouldn’t be going.”

“I have to.” He kissed my forehead again, this time keeping his lips on me longer, as if he knew it was the end soon. Curtis shifted in his seat, before sitting up, and turning to us.

“You two may be one of the most lovey, over emotional couples I have ever seen. Why the hell did you sit by me?” He groaned, lifting his arms high above his head.

“Shut up, Curtis. Go back to bed.” Oliver laughed, holding me close as I laughed at poor, sleep deprived Curtis.

“Guys….it’s time to go.” Lee announced, shaking Curtis lightly on the shoulder as he grabbed his backpack, which was sitting on the floor beside his chair. “We are running late, I think.”

Even though every bone in my body protested, I lifted myself off of Oliver, letting him get up and grab his overnight bag. His hand found mine again, and we walked out towards the bus. Once everyone had gotten on, he set his bag down, and put both his tattooed hands on my waist.

“I don’t want to go.” He sighed, his eyes burning deep into mine.

“You’ll have fun, baby.” I smiled the fakest smile I ever smiled before.

“Not really…I already feel all empty…but alright. You be safe, okay?” He smiled weakly back at me, before kissing my forehead again gently. “I love you, Christian.”

“I love you, Oliver.” I whispered, standing on my tip toes so my lips reached his, our last kiss before the tour materializing. His grip around my waist tightened, my hands reached over his shoulders, bringing his head closer to mine. All I wanted to do was have my body melt into his, so he could take me onto that bus with him, so I wouldn’t have to wait for him and I wouldn’t have to be alone. Finally, he broke the kiss, and let me out of his arms. He kissed my lips again, this time gently with no tongue, before picking his bag up again, and walking up the steps of the bus. He reached up, putting the hood of his jacket over his head, before blowing me a kiss goodbye and disappearing into the black tour bus, not to be seen by me for another 3 weeks.