My Heart Stopped Beating

It was obvious that nobody had much sense when it came to emergencies. As water poured from the ceiling, everybody dove under their desks, flattened against walls, or simply ran in circles. Gerard, however, stood from his chair and walked over to the door, his folder still held over his head. He pushed the door open and stepped outside, unnoticed among the chaos. He turned back, raising an eyebrow as he motioned for me to follow.
He must mean somebody behind me, considering he looked down on and practically disapproved of me. There I was, sitting perfectly still while my fellow classmates raged on. I can’t even begin to imagine how idiotic I must look, quietly getting soaked while everyone else tried to do something about it.
“Sid,” his silky, yet hard voice rang out clearly above the fire alarm. Everybody seemed to freeze, myself included, as he waved his hand forward, beckoning. Cautiously, I stood from my chair and walked slowly towards Gerard.
All eyes were on us as we walked out of the classroom, Gerard letting the door swing shut behind us. I followed hesitantly as he walked around the small building on the outskirts of the tiny campus, already swarming with soaked students. He leaned back against the brick wall and pulled out a pair of Aviators and a pack of Newports. He slipped his shades on and hit he cigarette box against his wrist a few times before pulling out a lighter. With one leg bent at an angle and a foot resting vertically against the bricks, the image couldn’t look any more cliché than if he’d flashed a gun.
I opened and closed my mouth a few times in confusion, probably resembling a fish, as numerous questions and accusations formed in my mind. Not five minutes ago, he’d sneered at me. Now, we’re smoking behind a building on campus grounds. Well, I’m not smoking, but second-hand can kill, too. I stared at the roach in his hand in disgust.
I watched as he brought it to his lips, his perfect lips…. Shut up, head. He took a long drag, before exhaling lazily and flicking a bit of ash at my feet. I took a step back as the wind carried the smoke in my direction.
“Can you not do that?” I asked, the confidence and sarcasm in my voice surprising us both. “I could get lung cancer or something.”
Gerard looked at me, then down at his cancer-stick. After a moment, he chuckled and turned towards me. “You’re worried about this?” He waved the cigarette around a bit. He chuckled again, before suddenly appearing before me. I blinked in surprise, a small “Oh!” escaping my lips. He’d just covered my precautious distance of ten feet or so in a second.
“You’re worried about this?” he repeated, his breathe hot on my face as he held up the burning roach. “Honey, you should be more worried about me.”
My heart skipped a beat; in fear, I think. It was impossible to form coherent thoughts with him so close. Somebody who’d been my enemy for two years was standing right in front of me, just inches away, and he’d never looked so beautiful. I hated myself for thinking it, but I couldn’t help it. And the fact that his shades hid any readable emotion in his eyes made me feel so very exposed and uncomfortable. I felt endangered, as if I was his prey. My predator closed in fast, his face leaning towards mine.
Suddenly, he pulled away. “Ray,” he acknowledged, looking away. I turned to lay eyes on one of Them. His fro shook as he nodded slightly, then turned to me. I froze as he looked me over, shaking his head slightly. “Let’s go, Mikey’s not too pleased,” he said, in a disapproving tone. I stood uncomfortably as I waited for Gerard to walk off with Ray, when I noticed nobody moving. Ray raised and eyebrow at me as Gerard scoffed. “Well, are you just going to stand there like an idiot?” Gerard asked, sneering at me again. My eyes widened as I realized Ray was talking to me.
I walked forward hesitantly, following Ray as he led me away from Gerard. From somebody else’s point of view, we could pass as casual friends. I didn’t feel the need to keep any cautious distance between us, so we walked along only about a foot apart. I felt safer around Ray, although he was pretty much a stranger. He wasn’t as… menacing as Gerard, and he didn’t glare at me in the hallways. I’ve even seen him goofing of with Mikey and Frank at lunch like normal teenagers. Because they’re normal teenagers, I told myself. Just like everybody else.
“Why did you put yourself in such a compromising situation?” Ray muttered, shaking his head. I thought he was talking to himself when he turned towards me expectantly. I frowned, giving him a blank look. “I mean,” he continued. “It doesn’t take a genius to look at a guy like Gerard and tell that he’s different from other people. That he could potentially be dangerous. So sprinklers come on in your classroom, a suspicious distraction if you ask me, and you follow the scariest looking guy in the whole school to go hang out behind a building where no one will see you, where no one will hear you? That’s not too bright if you ask me.”
My frown became more pronounced. I hate when everybody knows something that I don’t know.
“So you’re bashing your best friend because he looks different?” I asked, changing the subject a bit. I’m getting answers out of him before he gets answers out of me. “I mean, you look pretty different yourself, but I’m not running and screaming.”
He shook his head, chuckling. I watched in faux amazement as his hair shook back and forth, it was mesmerizing. “You should be running and screaming, in any other instance. It’s pretty smart to be sticking with me at the moment, though.” He muttered, in his mysterious tone that They seemed to all have in common. I groaned, stopping in my tracks and stomping my foot. “I am not going anywhere with you unless you explain yourself. First of all, what is it about you guys that should have me running in the opposite direction?”
He laughed out loud and continued walking, leaving me where I stood. “Fine by me, though Mikey will be a bit disappointed when he finds he has to scrape you up of the road. Such beauty would be wasted with tire tracks across your forehead.” That’s when I realized I was standing in the middle of the road, a car headed straight towards me. I yelped and picked up my pace, catching up with Ray.
“Why are we leaving campus?” I asked, taking in my surroundings. We were across the street from the High School and headed down a very busy road towards an intersection. He didn’t answer at first, just stared straight ahead, a variety of emotions washing across his face. I looked almost as if he were having a mental conversation with himself. After a few minutes, he sighed and confirmed my suspicions. “I’m kidnapping you.”
I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth. I knew it! We stopped walking and the left corner of his mouth twitched. I probably looked like Jordan whenever she did an impression of a cheerleader. “I so knew it!” I yelled in disbelief. I turned quickly and ran blindly in the opposite direction. Firm hands caught me by the wrists as I almost walked straight into traffic.
He loosened his grip and resorted to holding on to one wrist as he tugged me along towards a small coffee shop just down the street from our school. “I was just joking. I swear, you’re as naive as you look.”
I scoffed. “I’m not that naive. I actually have a pretty good idea of what’s going on, Mikey told me. I just wasn’t sure if I should believe him.” I lied. Mikey didn’t tell me anything, I was just seeing if I could possibly get some grasp on the situation, that somebody might tell me something.
His face scrunched up in confusion and disbelief. I grinned, he doubted himself. He was very quiet for a moment, thinking it over, before laughing out loud. “You don’t know anything.” He stated simply. I groaned as we walked into the coffee shop.
“Natalie?” a familiar voice called. I practically beamed as Mikey waved us over to a small table in front of the window. I hurried over and took a seat next to him, taking him by surprise. He laughed halfheartedly, a suppressed, troubled look on his face. He turned away from me and stared blankly at Ray. The two stared at each other, emotions playing across their features. Mikey sighed as Ray nodded and left the coffee shop. It didn’t seem odd; Lacey and I had a habit of simply looking at one another and knowing what the other was thinking. Mikey then looked at me, studying my facial features as I sported my signature goofy grin. He still looked troubled as he reached out and touched the side of my face. I frowned slightly as his hand fell to his lap. Without warning, I reached out and stuck my fingers into the corners of his mouth and pulled, forcing him to smile goofy like I’d been.
He laughed, pushing my hands away. It was a real Mikey giggle, not a forced chuckle. He quieted down after a moment and looked at me with true concern. “We need to talk.” I gulped nervously, is this about Gerard? My thoughts were confirmed as Mikey squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
“It’s about my brother, as well as myself,” he muttered quietly. I had to lean forward to hear him. “I just… I want to tell you everything, honestly, I just can’t.”
My brow furrowed. “Why can’t you? Nobody will know, if it’s that bad. I won’t tell.” I protested. He shook his head, smiling. It wasn’t his sweet, innocent smile I was accustomed to. It was forced, without humor. “If only it were that easy.”
I adopted a thoroughly confused look, waiting for him to clarify. He sighed, squirming again. “I think it’s best we don’t talk anymore. I just… I mean, I don’t think… that you should socialize with people like Gerard, Ray, Bob and Frank. People like me. We’re not the type of people you want to be close to, to be alone with. It’ll be easier for you to just forget about us. We’re far more dangerous than you could imagine.”
I stared at him blankly, silently begging him to lift his head. As if hearing my request, he raised it and looked me straight in the eyes. I tried so desperately to read him, the boy who wore his heart on his sleeve for as long as I could remember. All I could see was a strong determination.
“You’re joking.” I choked, shaking my head without even realizing it. His cold stare softened as my eyes watered slightly. I don’t know why I was getting so overdramatic; he was probably just messing with me or something. What was so life threatening about Mikey? Sure, Gerard was pretty scary when he wanted to be, but Mikey was so different. With his dirty blond hair that stuck up all over the place and his cute glasses he wore at the tip of his nose. I wasn’t falling for the Way brothers or anything, they were just so different. You never would guess that they were related.
He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “Hey, you won’t even miss us. You don’t even know the guys anyways. You’ve got Adam, you’ll be okay without me.” It was weird how we never really considered ourselves best friends until we realized we wouldn’t talk to one another ever again. I guess you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone.
He smiled slightly, trying to make me feel better, but I could read him like a book. I could plainly see the regret and sorrow in his eyes. He kissed my cheek, capturing a stray tear with his lips, just as the bell above the coffee shop door jingled and a gasp broke the silence.