How Ridiculous Were We?

"Bridge, what are you doing?"I heard from behind me and I turned around to see John a few feet away from me

"Eric just walked by"I said as I let go of the curtain I was hiding behind.

John just shook his head "Its been hours, we're almost leaving this venue, you better talk to him now, unless you want everyone listening in on the bus"He said walking up to me.

"They're coming on our bus again?"I whined

He just chuckled."I guarantee they will always be on our bus for a portion of the time, vans arnt very fun to travel in"

I just groaned"Bridge, you would be excited about that if this whole thing with Eric didn't happen"

"I know, but either way it would be awkward because if I flat out rejected him I would still be hiding."

"Just talk to him"John said giving me a nudge.

"Fine, ill go find him"I mumbled and walked away from John.

I walked around for five minutes, dodging a few guys, some purposely bumping into me, stupid fagots. Boys are so idiotic.

"Eric!"I said spotting him alone just standing and drinking from a water bottle.

"Hey Bridget"he smiled as I approached him

"Can we talk now?"I asked a little shyly

"Of course"He smiled. He seemed so happy it broke my heart.

"Okay, well look, I do like you"I started my lie and his face started to lose its smile."but we cant make anything out of it"I said completely confused on how to word that.

"What do you mean?"He asked completely emotionless.

"I leave in a week. We cant like date you know"I said looking down and then back up, but not making full eye contact

"Why not?"He asked quietly.

"I-I-I cant do long distance."I stuttered, nervous. My stomach was in knots. I have never ever felt like this before. I just felt horrible. He was a great guy and I was a grade A bitch.

"I bet if it was Nick you would make it work"He said envy in his voice.

I was speechless, shocked. "What? What does that even mean?"I asked incredulously.

"It means I know you like him, and this is you're pity way of turning me down right? Trying to save my feelings. Why did you have to even lie to me in the first place?"He asked shaking his head.

"E-E-Eric"I said taken back

"No save it"He said as he started walking away but I ran and stepped in front of him to stop him from walking

"I don't like Nick, at all. As a friend I do and thats it. There is no romantic spark I swear. You have a way better chance then he would. I really cant do long distance. I would never see you and it would kill me."

He sighed "Are you lieing?"

"No"I said quietly. Was I lieing? You tell me.

"Alright. I'm sorry. That was a real asshole thing I just did"

"No, I'm sorry."I said and hugged him and he hugged me back.

After we stopped hugging I looked up at Eric's face and he seemed sad and mad. I fucking suck.

~~~

"John, I just feel so bad"I complained to him as we layed together in his bunk just talking

"Bridge, you need to be more careful about the situations you get yourself in. I mean Eric is a great guy"

"I know he is, but I just don't like him like that.I cant even force myself to"

"So Nick?"

"What about Nick?"I asked shifting a bit

"You like him"He stated

"I do not!"I said and sat up

"Bridge, yes you do. I mean you rather be with him then me, I mean you really like the guy"John said sitting up too.

"Why does everyone think I like him?Ive known him for about 4 days. I do not fall that fast. John, I will tell you if I like him. I mean you know I don't like keeping secrets, especially from you"

"I know Bridge, but I'm not to going to lie, it does make me jealous when I see you with him, you're just so comfortable with him. Are you sure you don't like him?"

"No! hes just fun to talk to. And why are you jealous? Thats ridiculous. I mean no one will EVER replace you"

He just gave me a light smile.

"Hows Natalie?"I asked randomly. Well for me it wasn't random, I mean I felt like his phone was replacing me......

"I really want to see her"He said shyly and it made me laugh and I lightly pushed his shoulder.

"Awe, Johnny likes her"I joked

"I don't know, she just really gets me. Shes sortoff like you"

"What?"I asked jokingly mad"No one is like me. I'm one of a kind"He laughed

"This is why I love you so much"He said as he kept laughing and I smiled and just layed back down.

After John calmed down. he slid down and layed back down.

We layed on our sides face to face. We just stared at eachother for a few seconds and then broke out in smiles

"What am I going to do when you leave me next week?"he asked sadly.

"Go on with your life"I laughed

"No but seriously Bridge"

"Ill miss you"I shrugged

"You changed"he said quietly.

"What?"I asked surprised

He just shook his head.

"John tell me what you mean by that"

"Nothing"He said and looked away from me and shifted so he was laying on his back, looking up at the top of the bunk.

"No tell me"I said as I got on top of him and straddled him

"Bridget, get off"He groaned.

"No John tell me"I said getting aggravated

"You're becoming distant. No matter what you say, you don't want to be with me. You could care less if we were together. You used to love talking to me. You would jump at the opportunity to see me. But now this time is different. I'm just some guy. I don't want to be some guy. I'm your best friend. If thats what I still am to you. Maybe you coming on this tour with me wasn't the best idea. Its just breaking us."

"You cant be fucking serious"I said through my teeth and pressed my knees into his arms that were laying at his sides.

"Stop"He said and took his arms out from under me and grabbed my thighs"Does the truth hurt?"

"Why are you being such a dick to me lately.?"I asked pissed and just sat down on him instead of being on my knees.

"Do you mind not sitting on me in that direct spot? I am a guy" He said rolling his eyes.

"Oh here?"I asked glaring at him and just bounced.

"Bridget"He kindoff moaned and gripped my thighs to stop me from moving.

"Awe, does John actually get turned on?"I asked rolling my eyes

"Like I said before, I am a guy. And you shouldn't even be asking that question. I'm pretty sure I had to be turned on to sleep with you."

I glared hardcore at him and started breathing heavily."How can you even bring that up? Use it in a fight!"

"Do you mind getting the fuck off me then?"

"NO! Not till this is settled."

"Whats settled? That we both realized we don't want to be friends?"

"What?!"I asked astonished

"Stop fucking moving!"

"Shut the fuck up!"

"Wow, after I fucked you for the first time, I thought our relationship would shatter. I thought it would disappear because we had sex, but no, its going to be over because you're being a little bitch and you don't want to be friends anymore!"

"When did I say that?! And just because we had sex doesn't mean anything! After that we were still friends. I want to be friends you asshole. You honestly think I can live without you?!"

"Actually I think you could. As long as you know, you have Nick"

I opened my mouth to yell right back at him but the curtain to the bunk was flung open and my eyes adverted there and so did Johns. EVERYONE was standing there. They were all huddle and squished together around Johns bunk.

"You guys could have told us you wanted privacy, I mean if you wanted to do stuff we could have stayed at the front of the bus." Justin said awkwardly.

I just let out a scream. "Who says we wanted to do stuff?"I said turning all my anger to the guys.

"Well, you guys were talking about fucking each other, and your kindoff sitting on him" Pat answered.

I then realized it probably did look bad and sound bad. Did they hear everything?

I quickly got up off John and got out of the bunk pushing Jared and Loren out of my way so I could stand.

"Get out of my fucking way" I said as I pushed through the group of guys.

"Bee"Nick said as I reached him.

"Fuck you"I said as I pushed past him and ran straight to the small bathroom.

I slammed the door behind me and slid down the back of the door and started crying.

That was embarrassing