How Ridiculous Were We?

"So thats it?"He asked his eyes looked glazed over. He looked as if he was in another world.

"No Nick, I-"I started to explain what was really happening but he cut me off

"Save it Bridget, I'm done. This is why I dint mess around with girls like you. You break one heart after another. And to think I liked you"

"Nick"I started again, this time I was on the verge of tears.

"No Bridget, I let myself fall for you, asking you everyday if you still liked me, being afraid that one day, which is today, you would say no. I dreaded that day. I mean I knew you wouldn't like me forever, but I wanted you to for more then a few days. I thought I could be the guy you wanted. But no, you dint want to be with me, you dint think we will ever see each other after you leave, you dint even like me, you're just a negative person. As much as I love just being wit you, I'm done"

"No Nick, you dont understand"I said standing my ground

"Just leave me alone"He said and shoved past me. I didn't know what to do. I just watched him walk away. A single tear rolled down my cheek. I dont like him. So much more then that. Something I didn't know was possible. I didn't think I would fall for him like that.

Then I heard a buzzing type noise. I looked around as I wiped the tears on my face and realized Nicks phone was still laying on the ground. I picked it up and realized he had a new text message from that Cassy girl. I decided against reading it. It wasn't my business.

I pocketed his phone and started walking away from the spot that I now hated more then anything.

I walked out of the venue and to the Maine bus. I walked on relieved that no one was there. Everyone was obviously inside the venue.

I went to my suitcase to find some comfy clothes to sleep in. I decided in taking a nap and just cuddle up with my teddy bear that I had secretly stashed underneath all my clothes.

John always makes fun of me for having a stuffed bear. Even though he was the one who had sent me that bear along with some other gifts for my birthday that we couldn't even spend together because of the whole living in different states thing.

Long distance really was a drag. I mean thinking about what me and John went through was rough now that I think about it. It had never really bothered me as much. But now its like I never want to do long distance. And me and John weren't even dating.

As I yanked out my bear from the bottom of my suitcase, a shirt came out along with it. A purple shirt. Nicks shirt.

The one he let me borrow when I didn't have clothes. I told him to remind me to give it back, I knew I wouldn't remember.

And in a moment like this, I was happy he also forgot I had it.

I quickly took off my shirt that I had on and slipped Nicks over my head. It still smelled exactly like him and it made me smile also coming along with a tear. How could I let this happen?

How could I get so head over heels for a boy? How could I let him break my heart? I was usually the heart breaker.

I slipped on pajama bottoms and climbed into Johns bunk along with my bear.

I hugged my bear tightly to me as I would randomly sniff just so I could get Nicks sent. It was actually pretty pathetic. I was a pathetic person.

I hugged the bear even tighter to me as I thought about Nick making me smile, talking to me about anything and everything, the way his lips fit mine, the cuteness about him and the cute things he did. It was like we were dating. Thats how I felt. Even though I had only met him a week and a few days ago. Who knew I could fall this hard? I sure didn't.

I couldn't suppress it any longer. I full on cried, sobbed and had a mini panic attack.

What did Nick mean girls like me? Was he really done with me? I had a couple days left here, I didn't want to end all this with a broken heart.

But I did want to end this without Nick. Whether I wanted to or not, and I did, I couldn't keep him.

~~

"Bee, can we talk?!"I heard and I awoke from my nap. I looked down at my bear that I was still squeezing

"Bee, where are you?" It was Nick. I actually smiled. I sat up in the bunk and rubbed my eyes while my bear rested in my lap

"Bee!"I heard again and as I was about to respond then the curtain to the bus was swung open.

"Oh thank god, you had me worried"He said as he looked at me and I looked back and then looked down.

"I'm sorry"I said quietly as I started playing with my stuffed bear

"Okay, look, I'm sorry about some of the things I said, its eating away at me"He said as he slid into the bunk and sat next to me.

"No, its okay"I said still not looking up.

"Look, you dont have to like me. Who knows maybe I dont like you"

"What?"I asked shocked as I looked at him

"I was thinking, maybe I made myself think I liked you because I wanted you to like me. Like maybe I made myself this game out of the whole situation. I wanted to see how long you would like me for, and maybe I convinced myself I really liked you to keep you liking me"

"Thats fucking ridiculous"I said through my teeth wanting badly to just push him out of the bunk

"I'm sorry"he said with a shrug

"Thanks for breaking my heart twice in the span of a day"I said and this time actually pushed him out of the bunk and he landed on the floor with a thump.

I stepped over him still carrying my bear and started walking to the front of the bus

"What do you mean twice?"he asked as he grabbed my arm and spun me around to face him

"Well the first time when you said you were done, and now when you just admitted you never liked me you asshole"

"Thats breaking your heart? You dont like me"

"You're right I dont" and then he rolled his eyes "Its more then like" I finished and grabbed my arm back from him and hugged my bear to my chest.

"What?"He asked surprised beyond belief

"I dont know"I mumbled. "It doesn't matter"

"Yes it fucking does"

I just shrugged and rested my chin on top of my bears head

"Whats with the bear?"He asked randomly.

"Its my favorite, John got it for me" and then Nick groaned

"What?"I asked with force

"Of course John got it for you"He said rolling his eyes

"You shouldn't even fucking care who got me this bear. You shouldn't even be a jealous jerk because well you know you dont like me"

"Maybe I more then like you too"

"Is your little head playing another game with you?"I shot at him and he glared at me.

"Fine, fuck you Bridget"

"Fuck you Nick!"

"Cute shirt" and then that made me laugh.

"I know, I'm pathetic"I said looking down.

"No, you're cute"He said lifting my chin so I was looking directly at him.

"Thanks"I mumbled. I didn't feel cute.

"Sooo be my girlfriend?"Nick asked as he looked in my eyes and then gave me a soft gentle kiss that was pure magic.

"Sorry"I whispered "I no longer trust you"