Find Some Peace

I was sitting now on his night stand. He was leaning against the table in between my knees, which hugged his sides impulsively. The breath on my lips seemed to sit idle for a moment before falling into the fabric of his now wrinkled shirt. A smile curved my mouth. Eyelids shutting, I relaxed against him and felt his arms tighten around my waist. “Did you invent that line yourself or have you been watching way too many chick flicks?” I mumbled into his neck.

He tensed slightly. I could feel the effects of my mouth to his skin sinking their way into his behavior, which was a first for me with Sidney. Or maybe it was the fact that only now I was picking up on his touch and the unusual, though enticing, feel of my lips to him. I had never been so close to him, so open, so willing. Because we were so happy I figured that this kind of feeling was natural. Nothing to pay attention to; nothing at all.

“It came naturally. What can I say?” was his simple reply. It was satisfactory enough. The boy attempted to stifle a yawn seconds later using my shoulder.

I pulled back to stare him in the jaded eyes when he failed miserably. “You know, kid, you should get some sleep. I imagine you have practice early?”

“As always,” he murmured back reluctantly, “I don't want to sleep yet, though.”

The way his eyes flickered over mine, the way he wet his lips hesitantly, and his warm breath felt on my mouth; all of it was enough to overwhelm my stomach and cause it to shift. For a moment, one could hear a pin drop between the silence of Sidney and I. The last thing I wanted to do was move, but at the same time I knew that moving meant lying with him and the lovely human necessity of sleep. And there it was again. The turning of the innermost part of my body cavity caused me to strain in order to maintain my peaceful expression. “Come on,” I whispered into his skin purposely this time just like some kind of hypothesis-less experiment. “You need rest and so do I.”

The boy seemed to hesitate, lost in his own thoughts. I wondered for a moment if his rock-like state was my doing, but I shook the thought away. I was making crazy assumptions about this boy. It was a sure thing that I didn't have any feminine power over him, he was just tired. Iwas just tired. Our joint tiredness was to blame for our physical behavior.

“Alright,” he finally mumbled, this time lifting his head so his mouth tickled my ear. “I'll take the-”

“Not happenin', kid.” I may have been tired, but I wasn't daft.

“You know, this is my place. Do I need to set some simple rules?” He was just getting playful now in his mockery of me. I bet if I said something slightly humorous, the boy would be sent into a bout of giggles until he eventually fell unconscious. Deep down I knew that no matter what, he'd end up staying with me. It was just the chase he was after.

The less conscious side of me, which was quickly taking over, began pushing impatience on my body. Sidney backed away from me enough so I would be able to stand. In his eyes I could see his intent to stop me from getting around him, his intent to make me agree to his snoozing on the couch. It was no bother, though. My mind didn't only force me into impatience and enforce quick thinking, it wanted to experiment, to venture into uncharted waters.

“If you sleep on the couch, then I'm going to sleep on the couch,” I challenged, then dropped my enforcing line, “And if you decide to pin me down in here, I'll just sleep on the floor.”

Silence. The brunette stared at me for a few drowsy, lingering moments before cracking a small smile. “Trust me, I'm more stubborn that you think.”

“Well, I'm also more persuasive,” I murmured, walking my fingers up his chest. My index finger rested directly over his heart, outlining the North Face logo once or twice. A wandering mind began distracting me until I realized I had his full attention, breath-held in all. Yet something deep down in me cracked, my finger falling back to my side. I couldn't bring myself to do it; to push him to the side just a few inches and sit him down on the mattress. Just lay him down and tell him the couch is not an option.

I took the less suggestive way out of it.

My arms encircled his unprepared middle, head rested on his chest. Eye lids falling closed, I leaned against him and whispered into his intoxicating, addicting scent, “Your bed is big enough for the two of us. Mine's a circle and we shared it, for crying out loud. I think we can both fit here.”

“Are you sure you're not awkward or anything 'bout it?”

Nodding, I replied, “Sid, I woke up with you molded into my back and I was peachy keen. Can we just sleep now?”

A curious expression entered his features, intoxicated with tiredness. The corner of his full lips angled upward in a jagged spike, uncharacteristic to his innocent face. A smirk dressed his expression, sending nervous jitters throughout my entire being. “In a bit of a rush to get me in bed?”

Well I'm awake now.

The man's smirk thickened. “Kidding.” There was a touch of hesitance in his words. He leaned forward slightly, eyebrows raised as if to ask “see?” And in one swift motion, his jacket was zipped down and slipping from his shoulders onto the ground at his heels. He acted as though his actions were a signal of giving in. “Come on,” he whispered, turning his back to me, “I'm practically incoherent. Let's get some sleep before I start singing my ABC's or something embarrassing.”

I slipped into his soft bed after changing into a pair of boxers and one of his t-shirts. He rested beside me, straight as a board. An awkward freezing sensation kept me stationary, just gazing at the ceiling in the darkness. Minutes passed and he hadn't moved an inch, successfully crushing my hopes of contact. Maybe me and my bed time dumbness made him awkward. Great. Ugh. My stomach fell with my eye lids, a sense of emptiness combining with the blackness of incoming sleep.

Before I fell to unconsciousness, a sensation warm and electric awakened my dying senses. Sidney's arm encircled my upper middle, pulling my body to meet him half way. I impulsively sucked in my stomach, tensing completely. And before I succumbed to human lack of energy, I heard him whisper, “It's good to have you back.”



My eye lids slowly pried themselves open. As far as I could tell, I was all alone and tucked snug in the center of the bed. The clock to my right glowed a deep red, signaling the arrival of ten AM. Meanwhile, the shower called to me. I obliged with ease.

It was mentally estimated that Sidney would get home from practice in an hour or two. He'd probably want a nap, according to the text conversation I was having with Trent.

Hey Sid, I'm up and active. Don't eat. Making lunch. :)

It took about twenty minutes before he replied, ”Don't make lunch. I'm taking you to my favorite little place. :)”

:O

You're welcome. B]

Goosebumps burst up and down my arms with new excitement. Luckily for me I hadn't started cooking yet so the kitchen was still generally put together. My time was, from then-on, devoted to looking borderline perfect. He won't care what you're wearing, I hope you know, Matthew's voice cut into my head as I stared my reflection down with an unsatisfactory glare. Sidney really likes you. I mean he could come home to you in pajamas and still take you out and act like he's damn proud of it.

I don't want him to have to act. I really just... I don't know. I just want to look good. There's nothing wrong with that.

There is when you deny your feelings for him.

My eyes widened. I'm not denying a thing, Matt. I just want him to-

-love you. You want him to just cut the huggy, snugly crap and sweep you off your feet already. You know you are pretty obvious. I mean last night you wanted to shove him onto his own bed and tell him he's not going anywhere. That doesn't sound like a friendly gesture.

I just wanted to get his attention.

Keep telling yourself that. Just don't wait too long to realize what's going on. You might lose your chance.

My stomach turned. Suddenly my jean-clad legs felt weaker and my insides tightened with an intense bout of nervousness. I wasn't running. I was never denying any sort of feelings for him. And last night... Last night was just me functioning like a drunk without the alcohol. Nothing I said had any actual reflection on my emotions toward Sidney. Like I said, I was incoherent. My thoughts and actions were pretty much meaningless.

“Hey, I'm back!” Sidney's voice echoed into his room, where I was struggling to finish my last french braided pigtail. His footfalls softly grew louder with the closer he became until I could finally see him making his way into the bathroom beside me. Sidney gave me a small smile, wrapping his arms around my waist while I tied off the end of the pigtail. “You look nice,” he mumbled into my neck, nuzzling my skin.

“Thanks. You don't look half bad yourself. Cute hat, by the way,” I replied, giving his soldier cap a little flick on the bill.

He does things like this... And I don't know what to think of him.

“Come on,” he whispered, sending a chill down my spine with my thoughts. “Let's get going before I decide a nap is in order.”



We were nearly silent for the majority of the short ride. He pulled into an alley way just behind a tall, new-looking building. The air about the place screamed “rich and famous” but I simply shook it off. New places made me nervous for some reason. Probably because I knew my curiosity always got the best of me and we all know what happened to the cat who felt the same way.

“We have to stop here really quick so I can pick up a few things, alright?”

“Hm? Oh, sure.” His statement clarified everything for me. The building was most likely a business rather than a restaurant. The chrome and white combination was far too plain to me. The side of the towering mass alone was grim. Then again, we were in an alley. With Sidney that probably meant evading fans.

He lead me through a rear door and into a quiet little well-lit room full of copy machines and cardboard boxes staked to the ceiling. Taking my hand, he pushed open the only other door in the room and I followed him into a long hall, bursting with people. Every few of them greeted Sid while we weaved our way through the crowd. Finally in an elevator, we began our descent.

“I'm going to introduce you to a few people as soon as we get up here, just to warn you,” he spoke quickly, squeezing my hand.

I raised an eyebrow. “Why are you warning me?”

“Because Alex is kind of... Well, you'll see.”

“Sidney!” a man shouted as soon as the elevator doors slid open. He rushed us within seconds, slightly catching me off guard. Sidney only smiled widely, shaking the man's hand in that friendly way guys do. “And...” Here we go. “Who is this?”

“Amanda Seraphyn, this is the man in charge of the entire Pepsi add campaign this year.”

“Alex Grafton. It's a pleasure,” the tall man seemed to say in a snake-like tone, which gave me the creeps. There was something about him, a predatory air, that unnerved me. The way he kissed my knuckles, the way his fingers felt touching my palm was unbearable. I felt like some kind of item, a toy he wanted to play with. I wasn't one for games.

Swallowing hard, I forced a small smile. “Yeah, it's nice to meet you too.”

Alex wore a confident half smile as he asked, “So I take it you two are...?”

“No,” I snapped back at him out of pure nerves, hardly realizing that Sidney's hand was still over mine. My fingers broke from his immediately. “I'm just a close friend visiting,” I then finished much more calmly. My eyes refused to meet Sidney's. The tense feeling to my right radiating from said man made my stomach clench. Should I have said that? Sidney wouldn't lie, so it wasn't like I was ratting him out or anything. That feeling was unmistakeable though... I felt nervous because of him.

The way Alex's smirk contorted into some kind of twisted smile made me mentally cringe. Maybe I should have introduced myself as Sidney's girlfriend.

“She's Max's girlfriend, actually,” Sidney suddenly spouted, completely catching me off guard. My eyes widened for a brief moment, but upon seeing a hint of soured expression in Alex's face, I adjusted accordingly and nodded.

“Well, Sidney, Lexi just got in if you'd like to meet her. She'll be working with you and Max on the shoot.” The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Alex was watching me now, waiting for a reaction, which I hid the best I could. The most I could do was bite my bottom lip at the drop of some other chick's name. Sure, it didn't apply to me at all, but the way Alex was staring me down was beginning to really piss me off.

“Oh cool,” replied Sidney lazily. My ears perked as I jerked to stare at him. The boy looked almost irritatingly composed. I then came to realize that his blank expression was in turn infuriating Alex. Note to self: Hug Sidney later. “Well, I need to pick up my itinerary so I'll catch you later, Al.”

“Sure, Sid.”



“Well Alex was... Different.” I asked as soon as we ducked into his car.

“I'm so sorry, Manda. I had no idea he'd be all like that with you. I was hoping he wouldn't but lately every time I have a girl with me, whether she's a friend or a cousin, it's like Alex has to have them. It's just... Frustrating. If he wasn't so good at what he does, I'd have him replaced. You just have to understand that he's closer to your age than I am so he probably thinks he has a shot with you.”

“Are you kidding me?” I burst, raising my eyebrows. “Sidney, I'm only two years older than you and by a matter of weeks, three. If you're telling me this moron thinks he can take me away from you -er- Max, then he's crazy. Does he see you as competition or something?”

Sidney shifted slightly, stopping at a red light. “I don't honestly know what his problem with me is. He's a hardcore player. Like the guy has to have every pretty girl he sees and he always gets his girl. It's the most annoying thing in the world, I swear. Why he always has to upstage me all the time, I have no idea.”

“Well Sid,” I said with a confident tone. My fingers walked themselves over to his hand resting on the center compartment between us and swept over his skin. “I'm the exception to Alex's rule.”