To Love Again

Edward's P.O.V.

"Oh my God, Edward you almost kissed her." Alice squealed happily as I opened the door to my Volvo.

"Could you keep your voice down, please!" I demanded through gritted teeth. "And I would prefer if you didn't check up on me all the time." She was right, of course, I did almost kiss Eleni back at the hospital. It had been hard not to. Her eye's were such a dark blue, I would almost call them charcoal. I couldn't help myself from touching her when I saw her scream. I needed to sooth her. It was like a natural instinct that just took over me and what scared me the most is was the feeling I got from touching her. It was like I woke up. Every inch of me tingled with some sort of electricity. Of course I had to hold my breath for the first couple of minutes she was standing there but when I saw the pain written on her face, her lids hiding her amazing eye's, the protection I felt towards her over powered everything else. I couldn't feel anything else in that time. All I wanted was to snap her boyfriend's neck in half. Dirty scumbag.

But she looked so venerable and so damn beautiful. I had to remind myself that it was a mistake that I couldn't allow to happen again.

Bella!

Her name continued to scream in my head. The love of my very existence. How could I do something like that to her?

"Oh shut up! You get to read my mine, I get to sneak into your future. It is only fair." Alice chimed, interrupting my thought's. "Told you my visions came true." She smirked.

I rolled my eye's and exhaled loudly. "Where is Renesmee?" I asked, running up the steps to our new house. It was very similar to the house we had in Forks, not like the last house we had in Canada. It was large and spacious. Topped off with some of my mother's signature decorating. The house was designed in warm colours. Lots of browns, gold and creams.

"Hey Dad." Renesmee smiled as she glided down the stairs gracefully, rubbing her tired eye's.

"Hi, Ness." I greeted her with a kiss on the forehead.

"Where is Grandpa?" She asked, staring up at me. Her big chocolate eye's made images of her mother flash in my mind, making the guilt almost kill me.

"Still at the hospital sweetie. Finished your homework?"

"Uh huh." She yawned, as she stumbled into the kitchen. Something else she inherited from her mother - her clumsiness.

I laughed lightly under my breath watching her try to catch Emse's vase of Lillis. I caught it before it could fall and smash to pieces.

She sighed with relief. "Thanks dad." She blinked. "Can always rely on you." She flashed her signature grin, that would, for sure make any man weak at the knees. It was the smile she used to get her way or get out of trouble. And it always worked.

Oh I love when I win. I could hear Emmett think.

Rematch tomorrow. There is no way he is getting away with that. Jasper said.

They had obviously just had a wrestling match. They were both sore losers when it came to fighting.

Dad! I heard Renesmee call in her mind. I was down the hall and in the kitchen in less than a second.

"You ok?" I questioned.

"Calm down, Dad. I just want to talk to you." She laughed. Ok, how am I going to say this. She asked herself. I was going to question what she was talking about but that would just be reminding her that I could read her mind. Resulting in her having a screaming match about her privacy.

"Alice told me about her vision." She breathed.

I rolled my eye's. I should have known. Alice probably had the whole house told by now. She could see something happening between myself and Eleni but I knew that was not going to happen. Not again.

"Alice's vision's change, Renesmee."

"I know." She whispered and lowered her head to the ground. "But come on, Dad. I didn't know, Mom. And as much as I would have loved to have known her and had a relationship with her, I do know from hearing stories from you and the rest of the family that she loved you so so much. She wouldn't have wanted you to be alone for eternity." She stayed silent for a moment, even her mind was silent. "I hate seeing you like this, Dad." Tears welled in her eye's.

"Ness I..." I began but she cut me off.

"Just listen, Dad. I can see how much you loved, Mom. But I can almost see how much guilt you carry. It wasn't your fault, Dad."

"It wasn't your's either, baby." I interrupted. I always knew from Renesmee's thoughts that she blamed herself for her mother's death, it was something she always carried with her, something that nobody could take away, no matter how hard we tried.

"Yeah." She breathed but I could tell it didn't ease the pain. "But anyway, you loved her a lot, you still love her. Even Jake talks about how much you two loved each other. But she wouldn't have wanted you like this. She would have wanted you to move on." She smiled gently. "Give Eleni a chance, Dad. She is a good person and she needs your help. Even I could see the attraction you had towards her. I just wanted to say that to you in case you were worried about me and what I would think. And I want to see you happy. That too much too to ask for?" Her lips curved up into a crocked smile.

"I can't hurt her, Ness."

"Well don't." She said casually, shrugging her shoulders, as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"It's too complicated. I can't bring her into this. I can't do it again." I could hear the remorse in my voice. I tried to stay strong for Renesmee's sake but sometimes it was difficult.

"It's not that you can't. You just won't. So uncomplicate things. Just give her a chance, Dad. Give yourself a chance." She said seriously.

"I am starting to wonder who the parent is here." I laughed and she joined in.

"I am just asking." She winked. "Anyway I am off to bed." She touched her hand to my cheek showing me the image she always showed me before she went to bed. The first time I held her in my arms. There was so much love in the image. And even though I had just lost Bella, I couldn't stop the over-whelming feeling that gripped me that day. I could never blame Renesmee, even thinking it made me want to smash something. From that day on, she was my life, she was everything I lived for.

I love you, she told me through her thought's.

"I love you, too." I whispered before she turned to leave.

Through the night everything she had said played over and over in my mind. I couldn't do it to Bella but was Nessie right when she said she would have wanted me to move on?

Maybe, but before I knew it, the daylight was breaking through the dark clouds. It was six in the morning. Suddenly, that feeling returned in my stomach - like currents of electricity that made me feel alive, somehow. I couldn't figure out what it was until I realized I wasn't allowing myself to figure out what it was. It was because I had to go to school - well not exactly because of that but the person everyone seemed to creating a fuss about was at that school. The girl that I felt so unbelievably protective over.

It was starting to scare me that I had to admit to myself that the one thing I wanted, I wouldn't allow myself to have.