To Love Again

"Bruised ribs. I will prescribe some cream." Doctor Cullen declared as he entered his office, holding the x-ray results. He scribbled something on a sheet of paper and handed it to me. "Hand that in at the pharmacy." He pulled out his chair and positioned his body into the black leather. "Eleni, I need to suggest helplines. They are a lot of people you could talk to." He said smiling gently, locking his fingers together on the desk.

"Thank you, Doctor Cullen, but I will be fine." I assured him. He didn't look so convinced.

"While you were having your x-ray's done, your friend, Jodie, told me that you might have trouble getting away from him."

Leave it to Jodie to spill the beans.

"Honestly I will be fine." I smiled gratefully. "I will handle it."

"I am not suppose to talk to you like this, it is strictly doctor." He rolled his eye's. "But my grand-daughter, Renesmee came home speaking of you today."

I stared at him confused. Did he just call Renesmee his grand-daughter? "Your Grand-daughter?" I asked, confused. My voice filling the room.

"Oh excuse me," He chuckled and waved his hand dismissively, "I meant to say my daughter. Long shifts." He explained. "Anyway, she seems to have stricken a friendship with you. And I am guessing you know my son Edward."

"Yes." I nodded and blushed, thinking back to the very sticky situation he walked in on not so long ago or was it? Maybe that was just my imagination running wild. Why would someone so drop dead gorgeous want to be that close to me? Definitely my imagination.

"Well, you are always welcome at our house, Eleni." He interrupted my thoughts. "Don't hesitate in calling. My wife loves new people around the house." He grinned lovingly.

I stared at him a moment, soon realizing he meant everything he said and it wasn't something he felt obliged to say. He sounded genuinely concerned for a safety and it touched me, probably more than it should have. The last time someone had looked out for me like that, apart from Jodie, was my dad before he died.

Doctor Cullen reminded me of my father in a lot ways, the way he cared for people and his kindness.

I shook my head letting the thoughts of my father seep away before they got the better of me.

"Thanks you!" I whispered, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over. "I better get going, it's getting late and I have to get my sister home." I explained, standing from the chair. It was only seven thirty but Suzie had school in the morning and I still had some homework to finish.

"No problem." He rose, shaking my hand gently. "And remember what I said." He reminded me before I left the room.

I nodded and smiled before closing the door behind.

"Ready?" I asked. Jodie was sitting in the waiting area, looking bored and tired.

"Uh huh." She agreed. "Everything ok?" She questioned as we walked out into the misty air. I liked the rain - well to a certain degree. I loved it when it was like this, just misty, it is refreshing. When it pours down - I don't like that so much, same thing as having a shower.

"Yeah, everything is fine."

"What did he say was wrong with you?" She tried to help me into the car but I brushed her off.

"Brushed ribs." I informed her as she sat in, brushing the moisture through her hair.

"Shit, Eleni. Bruised ribs. What kind of animal is he?" She shouted. "I am going to kick his ass tomorrow."

"Ok Karate Kid, before you start planning your karate chops, let me talk to him first." I chuckled.

"Oh no no no." She waved her finger in my face. "You are not stepping anywhere near him." She ordered.

"Jodie, I have to. I need to talk to him, its the only way. I don't want anybody else getting hurt."

"That's your problem." She began before I could say anything else. "Always thinking of other people. This is about you, everyone else will be fine. He isn't beating everyone else black and blue."

I sighed. "Jodie, if something happens I will ring the police straight away but you have to act like you don't know anything. Please." I begged.

She stared at me for a long moment, searching my face for something but I didn't know what. "Ok." She nodded and started the car.

We didn't speak of it anymore on our way home. I listened to Jodie complain about her college options. She was funny when she was angry, her nose wrinkles making her eye's smaller and her cheeks turned pink from frustration.

"Jodie." I called before she placed the key in her front door. "Thank you. You have been amazing to me."

"Don't be stupid." She shrugged as she pulled me into a tight hug.

"After thanking her mother for keeping Suzie, I secured her into the back seat of my car. I was half way to my house and I could hear her gentle snoring in the back. She was exhausted.

I pulled into the drive of my house and as much as I would have loved not to wake her I couldn't lift her all the way to her bedroom.

"Snoozy Suzie." I joked, shaking her a little. She stirred a little but went straight back into a deep sleep. How could she do that? Jodie's house was hardly five minutes away and already she was in dreamland. "Come on sweetie, we are home." Her eye's fluttered open, and for a moment all she done was stare at me as if she was trying to recognize who I was.

She sighed deeply and yawned. "You should have just left me in the car." She complained as she dragged her small legs out of the car.

"Hardly Suzie. You would wake during the night and scream the street down." I laughed.

"Mmm." Was all she managed as she placed her hand in mine.

I didn't need keys, the door was already slightly open. All the appropriate lights and lamps were on in each room. Our house was cosy, I give my mother that much, she made the most of it. Pity she is falling over while trying.

"Come on sleepy head, lets get you up to bed." I said tugging her lightly to the left towards the stairs.

"Suzie, come here sweetie." I heard my mother's slurred words as she just about managed to step out of the kitchen without staggering. "You have fun at Jodie's?" She asked, bending down to give Suzie a hug. I could smell the Vodka from where I was standing. Her blond hair was falling onto her face and her blue eye's were glazed over. She had removed her work blazer but her fitted skirt and shirt were still on.

"I am going to get her to bed." I said as I gripped Suzie's hand and lead her towards the stairs.

"I haven't seen her all day and you want to take her away from me. Is that what you are trying to do? Take her away from me?"

I rolled my eye's and grunted. She always this crap. She started talking about things that only existed in her drunken state of a world.

"Go up stairs and get ready for bed sweetie. I will be up in a minute to read you a story." I whispered to Suzie and she obliged. Her eye's were already closing.

"I am not trying to start anything, Mom and you know that."

"Oh yes you are Eleni. Always taking her places, for all I know you are probably telling her things to make her hate me."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek. "Really Mom? Are you really going to start this crap? Suzie loves you and so do I but I be damned if I am going to make her sit here and watch you push away everything you have with a bottle of Vodka or whatever you can get your hands on. Because right now, you can hardly take care of yourself, how do you expect to take care of an six year old too?"

I could see the anger in her was boiling and I knew what was coming next. She rose her hand to slap me but I caught her wrist before it came in contact with my skin. "Go sit down, Mom. Throw cold water on your face or something. Now, I am going to read a story to your daughter." I spat before running up the stairs. I could see her stagger back into the kitchen, cursing something under her breath.

"Is Mommy going to be ok?" Suzie asked, as I picked up her book and laid in the bed beside her.

"Yeah, of course she is. She is just really tired. She is like you, she gets really grumpy when she is tired." I poked her and she giggled loudly. She settled down after that and before I knew it the familiar sound of her gentle snoring was filling the room. I kissed her gently on the forehead, switched off the light and closed the door.

I decided to finish my history homework before I went back downstairs. I couldn't face another argument with her right now.

The homework hadn't been as long as I expected. We were studying modern American history - the Montgomery Bus Boycott. History was one of my favorite subjects, that along with English. I always found myself asking "what if?" It probably intrigued me more than it should have. I was a bit of a history freak.

I closed my eye's and took three deep breaths before going down stairs to face up to her. She wasn't like this everyday but five day out of seven she was as bad. Nothing seemed to hit her bad enough to wake her up and tell her she needed to stop.

"I need to.... to.... ta.... talk to you, Eleni." She pointed at me as I approached the kitchen. She stood up slamming her palm against the table.

"Ok be quiet, Suzie is asleep." I warned.

But then her face became suddenly paler. Her lips trembled and her knees buckled. I knew what was coming, it happened many time before.

I ran to her side and then she collapsed into my arms. Her eye's rolling in her head until they closed. She had blacked out.

I stood there for a minute or two until her eye's finally fluttered open. "Ok, Mom, I need you to help me out here." I said softly into her ear. "Put one arm around my neck. We are going to get you upstairs." She groaned as I pulled her to my side, her weight resting on my body. Every inch of her relying on me.

It was times like this I reminded myself why I was here. To keep her alive, to keep her breathing, because as much as I hated to admit it, I needed her just as much as she needed me. I already lost one parent, I don't know what I would do if I lost another. I loved her more than life itself and I would do anything for her. Unfortunately, AA meetings and throwing her alcohol down the drain didn't work so instead I just waited around until moments like this happened, so I could be here to help in another way.

"I could feel the beads of sweat run down my neck as I finally got to the top of the stairs. I sat her on the toilet in the bathroom whilst I turned on the shower and turned down the temperature to cold. Her face was going white again and I knew I needed to get her in the shower. I lifted her body up, forcing her stand. Then, I stood her into the shower, not caring to remove her clothes, I didn't have the time.

The minute the cold water hit her face, she sputtered and started cursing. She was coming around. "You are going to be ok, Mom, now shut up."

"I'm sorry sweetie." She cried onto my shoulder. "I love you Eleni, you know that right?"

"I know Mom, I love you too. But I can't always be here to help you, you have to start helping yourself. I am going to go down stairs and get you coffee." I soaked myself now.

"I will, I promise. I will get help." She spoke after me.

For a moment I almost believed her. But her promises were broken too often.