My Thorn And My Rose

30th July - 2 days after the operation.
My bed felt comfier then I last remembered. It felt clean and new. I opened my eyes which were immediately met by a bright light so I squeezed them shut again. I brought my hand to my eyes slowly to shade them and opened them carefully. The room was empty. Just white walls, a machine beside me and a window to my right. The curtains were closed but they didn’t really help the light from staying out at all. I lifted my hand to my head and I felt some material. It felt a little like cloth wrapped all the way around my head. I lowered my hand again, and listened to the steady beating of the machine, I was still lying down in my bed, I didn’t have the energy to sit up. I heard the door of my room creek open so I glanced towards it.
A young, pretty brunette was looking over at me, wide eyed and a grin on her face. ‘‘You’re awake!’’ She beamed then dashed out of the room. I was then slightly confused, was I not meant to be awake? Is it not what people usually do?
I lay there, still listening to the beeps, getting irritated because I couldn’t think of why the cloth was around my head…or why I was in fact actually in that room…hooked up to a machine…I couldn’t remember anything. Just then, the pretty brunette came running back into the room with an older looking man who looked just as surprised as she had.
‘‘Maddison, are you feeling alright now?’’ He asked. I glanced around the room, waiting for someone to reply. ‘‘Maddison?’’ He said again.
‘‘I’m the only person in here, who are you talking to?’’ I asked him. Just then, the surprise turned to worry. He walked over to me and shone a small torch in my eyes.
‘‘Do you know where you are?’’ He asked me.
‘‘In a hospital.’’ I replied.
‘‘Do you know why you’re in a hospital?’’ He asked me. This one I didn’t know so I shook my head. He nodded slowly and stood up. He whispered something I couldn’t hear to the pretty brunette and they both left the room without another word to me.
No one came back in to see me for at least an hour. I was bored stiff and getting more irritated trying to remember why I couldn’t remember…which was going no where.
Finally the door opened and that same man came back in. ‘‘We’ve brought a few people to see you, Maddison, is that ok?’’ He asked me.
‘‘Am I Maddison? Just to get that cleared up.’’ I asked him first.
‘‘Yes, you are. Maddison Butler.’’ He told me.
I nodded, taking in my name. ‘‘Who’s here?’’ I then asked him.
He opened the door wider and a woman and man stood there, smiling at me. I didn’t recognise them.
‘‘Honey, I’m so glad you’re awake.’’ The woman beamed as she stepped closer to my bed. She reached out for my hand but I pulled it closer to me so she couldn’t touch it. She looked offended as I did so. ‘‘She really has lost her memory?’’ The woman asked the man who had shone the light in my eyes.
‘‘I’m afraid so. But you knew that was going to be one of the outcomes out of the three. I’m sorry.’’ He apologised to her. It didn’t seem to help really, because she broke down into the other mans arms.
‘‘Could you tell us how long she’ll be like this?’’ The man asked.
‘‘It could be permanent or temporary, we can never be sure. It will probably be best if you take her home, show her some pictures, videos, anything that could jog her memory.’’ The woman stopped crying and looked at him.
‘‘Can we take her now?’’ She asked. The man nodded and she came towards me.
‘‘We’ve picked you out some clothes. Would you like to get dressed? Come home?’’ She asked me. I didn’t know where home was, but it had to be better then lying in a bed. I nodded and she left the bag of clothes on my bed and waited for me to get dressed. I pulled out a pair of black jeans and a purple t-shirt. It was strange how I was able to remember how to get myself dressed and what the items of clothes were. It was annoying to not know who I was or who these people were that were trying to help me. I finally got dressed carefully, my head hurt a little when I moved to fast, then I opened the door of the room. My legs felt weak, like I’d been lying down for days.
‘‘Lets get you checked out, and to the car.’’ The woman said. I smiled wryly at her and she held onto my arm and helped me walk out of the hospital and to her car.
I didn’t remember any of the streets as we drove home. I saw some people, but I couldn’t recall their names…if I had known them to start with.
I wanted desperately to remember everything and everyone, but it was probably going to take some time.