My Thorn And My Rose

After we had all calmed down, the tears stopped and we arrived at the venue, the guys left the bus to go get changed in their changing room back stage. It was more practical then using the small toilet that I’d used.
I sat and waited just outside of the room, I didn’t want to make any of them feel awkward getting dressed, and they were taking long enough to start with. After about twenty minutes the door opened and Sean came out dressed in his black skinny jeans, Mega Lolz t-shirt and checked jacket.
‘‘Could you do me a favour?’’ He asked, seeming a little desperate.
‘‘Sure, anything that keeps me busy, going crazy standing here bored.’’ I answered.
‘‘Could you run to the bus for me and grab my trainers?’’ Just then someone threw a bottle at his head. ‘‘Fuck you, Rhys.’’ He yelled, jokingly.
‘‘Sure, is it your black and red ones?’’ I questioned. He nodded then picked the bottle up and threw it behind him, hoping to hit Rhys. ‘‘You’ll be lucky if I don’t steal them from you.’’ I told him and he grinned.
‘‘I’ll happily have your trainers if you steal mine.’’ He retorted looking down at my feet. My trainers were my pride and joy, no one could get them off my feet. Sean half lunged for me to try and get my shoes so I ran off towards the exit of the building to get his trainers.
I hunted around the bus looking for Sean’s shoes, with fail. They were no where, not in the bunks, under tables or near the couch I had slept on. I sighed ready for another look around the empty bus and turned around to start at the back. Just then my heart stopped, my stomach leapt into my mouth and I was glued to the spot.
‘‘You’re not really there, you cant be.’’ My voice was shaky and I sounded like I half doubted myself on what I was seeing.
‘‘Oh, but Maddy, I am.’’ He sneered. ‘‘They’re just behind me, the trainers that is.’’ His smile was crooked on his face. He couldn’t be there, there was just no possible way Terry couldn’t have gotten out of prison after just one year. ‘‘What’s wrong, Maddy? You seem speechless.’’ He couldn’t be real, I had to be hearing and seeing things.
‘‘Please, just leave me alone!’’ I half begged and half demanded. ‘‘I have got nothing left that you could possibly want.’’ Tears pricked at my eyes and I fought hard to keep them in.
‘‘I want you back. That’s all I want.’’ Terry said, his voice low. He lowered his eyebrows and ran at me, I could see a glisten of a knife in his hand, the same one he used on Sam.
‘‘Gavin!’’ I screamed. But I knew he wouldn’t hear me, he was in the venue, in a back room, probably laughing and joking so he wouldn’t hear anything going on even a foot from the door.
I dropped to the floor, covering my face with my hands, readying myself for any kind of blow I would receive…but nothing came. No knife, no pain, then I looked back up and there was no more Terry. My heart was racing and I looked to where Terry had been standing, and there like he’d said, were Sean’s trainers. I didn’t understand how he knew if he wasn’t there. I quickly grabbed his trainers and darted off the bus back to where Sean was. I reached the room where they were and pushed the door open, throwing myself inside the room. All care had gone if they were still in the middle of getting ready.
‘‘Maddy? What’s happened?’’ Gavin asked, rushing over to me. I couldn’t speak, I was confused, scared and in shock. ‘‘Maddison, tell me what’s wrong.’’ He tone was growing serious and his expression worried.
‘‘Terry was on the bus.’’ It sounded ridiculous. They all knew he was in prison, we were all at his sentencing. Sean quickly stood up, a flash of anger shot over his face.
‘‘Maddy, he couldn’t have been. He’s in prison. He wont be out for a very long time.’’ Gavin soothed, holding his hand to the side of my face.
‘‘But I saw him. He was there, he even showed me where Sean’s trainers were. Then he came at me, he tried to kill me, Gavin.’’ I sounded crazy, I know I did.
‘‘Have you stopped taking some kind of medication, Maddy? Some that I didn’t know about?’’ Gavin asked concerned. I shook my head.
‘‘I didn’t need any. The doctors said I was just having post traumatic stress, I haven’t seen Terry once since he was being led away. He was there!’’ I tried to explain to Gavin, so he wouldn’t think I was turning crazy.
‘‘Maddy, I just think you’re seeing things. Its probably normal. But don’t worry, he wasn’t there, and he wont kill you, I can promise you that.’’ I knew Gavin meant this, when we were younger he wouldn’t even let a bee come next to me, I knew he would clearly protect me from a man with a knife.
I nodded, still not fully coming to terms with seeing things. It all seemed far to real for me.
I passed Sean his trainers and he slid them on. He pulled me down on the seat next to him and wrapped and arm around me.
‘‘Stop worrying, Maddy. He wasn’t really there. He cant and wont hurt you. We can all promise you that. Even Matthew.’’ He said trying to make me laugh. We all knew Matthew couldn’t fight for toffee, but we all know he would try if it were to help me.
The day went on, with sound check, breaks, me trying to keep myself from looking at my phone, then it was nearing six o’clock and the fans were lining up outside. They weren’t going on until about half past eight so I had until then to sit with them, safe from my hallucinations.
‘‘We have someone for you to meet.’’ Gavin beamed as he walked towards the door. I was confused but turned to look towards the door. He pulled it open and a large, stocky, bald man stood there, dressed all in black. ‘‘This is Billy, he’ll be keeping an eye on you while we’re on stage.’’ Gavin said, introducing him, clearly happy about his plan of a babysitter.