My Thorn And My Rose

Sean pulled away, taking a seat back on his crate and he smiled to me, still a little lost for words.
‘‘What happens now then?’’ He asked me, finally thinking of something to say.
I shrugged, not to sure myself, ‘‘Its up to you, what do you want to happen?’’ I asked him.
‘‘I know what I want, but its up to you, Maddy. I need to know if you’re ready to move on and build your life back up with me, or if you still need more time because of Sam. I love you and I want us to try again, and start where we left off, but that’s just me, I’m ready for that, I need to know if you are.’’ He explained, and I understood his point.
I sat for a moment in thought, I wasn’t sure, I knew I couldn’t waste my life being hung up on someone that was never coming back for me, but I didn’t know if moving on now was going to make me look like I was just forgetting Sam. I looked at Sean, his eyes hopeful, his smile not faltering.
‘‘I’m ready.’’ Were the only words I could process. It took Sean a short while to actually react to what I had just said.
‘‘Seriously?’’ He beamed.
‘‘Yes. What’s the point in loving you if I cant show it or do anything about it because I’m stuck on my past?’’ I asked him.
His smile grew and he dived onto me, wrapping his arms around me and he kissed my neck. ‘‘I know you’ll not be completely ready for a relationship, and I understand that. We’ll take things slow.’’ His words were muffled into my neck, where his face was currently sat.
‘‘Thank you.’’ I whispered, leaning down so my chin was rested on his shoulder.
Sean sat up and pulled me up from my crate and entwined our fingers together. ‘‘Is it ok to let them all know?’’ He asked me, slightly worried.
‘‘Sean, have you not learnt that there is no point trying to keep things from Gavin?’’ I asked him, knowing Gavin was his only concern. The first time Sean and I had dated, Gavin wasn’t too happy. His main worry was, that if Sean hurt me in any way, he was worried their friendship would deteriorate, but it wasn’t Sean that hurt me, I was the one that hurt Sean, and Gavin was there to keep Sean looking on the better sides of things and it made their friendship stronger.
‘‘I guess you’re right.’’ He sighed, then kissed me once more. ‘‘Might as well get first reactions over with.’’ He said, then led me down the corridor and back to the room we had just left. I felt Sean slowing down as we neared the door, his fingers starting to loosen on mine.
‘‘You aren’t ready, are you?’’ I asked him, stopping just outside of the door, letting go of his hand.
‘‘I am, I swear. But, Gavin…’’ I cut him off by rolling my eyes and sighing.
‘‘Do you really love me?’’ I asked him, accentuating the you and me in my sentence.
‘‘Of course I do.’’ He replied, shocked I would even ask.
‘‘Then stop worrying about what Gavin will say and show it. You know I can handle Gavin better than anyone, if he’s mad, I’ll talk to him.’’ I explained, hoping to get through to him and so I could possibly move on from my past and begin to get happy again.
When I had stopped talking, Sean apologised and cupped my face with his hands, he leaned forward and kissed me, and at that unfortunate point, the door of the room opened.
‘‘Weyy, what’s going on here?’’ Gavin asked, a coy smirk on his face.
Sean pulled away, his eyes wide as he looked at me so I could help him out with a lie that was never going to work.
‘‘I’m moving on.’’ Was all I could really come up with. ‘‘You know I never really got over Sean, so we’re just picking up again.’’ I told him honestly. A smile spread over Gavin’s face and he pulled us both into a hug, and he patted Sean on the back.
‘‘Just look after her.’’ He warned, already knowing he would do just that.
‘‘Gavin, what kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t treat your sister right?’’ Sean asked, meaning for it to be a rhetorical question but Gavin answered anyway.
‘‘A dead one.’’ Gavin beamed, then stepped further out of the room, the rest of the guys following.
‘‘Where you all off?’’ Sean asked.
‘‘The bus, staff are wanting to clean up in there.’’ Gavin replied. I looked towards Matthew, he didn’t look happy, he looked more hopeless then anything else.
‘‘Would you walk ahead, please? I want to talk to Matthew.’’ I asked Sean and he looked in Matthew’s direction. He to looked concerned and nodded then walked up beside Rhys and Gareth.
I stopped in front of Matthew and he looked up at me, gave a weak smile then tried to walk past me.
‘‘Matthew, what’s wrong?’’ I asked him putting my arm on the wall so he couldn’t get passed me.
He shrugged, ‘‘Nothing, I’m fine.’’ He again, tried to get past me but I stepped to the side so he couldn’t move forward.
‘‘Matthew, I’m not stupid, I know when there’s something up with my best friend.’’ I said, matter of factly.
‘‘That’s just it, I feel like I’m not your best friend anymore, not that you’re back with Sean. You wont need me to talk to, or to hang out with.’’ His expression broke my heart.
‘‘Matthew, don’t be silly. I’d never palm you off just because Sean and I are going to work things out again. I swear, I’ll always need you there to talk to and make me feel better when no one else can.’’ A small glimmer of happiness shot across his facial features.
‘‘Really?’’ He asked me, smiling slightly.
‘‘Really really.’’ I grinned, hugging him and he returned it.