My Thorn And My Rose

The rest of the guys had already made themselves comfortable on their bus when Matthew and I had reached them. Sean patted a space beside him so I gladly took it, leaving a now happy Matthew to squeeze himself between Gavin and James. Rhys was on the opposite side of Sean and I looked around for Gareth. He came bounding from the back clutching two boxes.
‘‘Someone dye my hair please? The reds turned ginger.’’ He whined and Rhys jumped up from his seat.
‘‘Leave it to me, Snoz.’’ He grinned and slurred. He was quite clearly drunk.
Gareth clutched the boxes closer to his chest and frowned at Rhys causing him to sit back down, chuckling.
‘‘I’ll do it for you.’’ I offered and Gareth gave me a thank you smile and handed me the two boxes, one of bleach and the other a bright red hair dye.
He took a seat just out of the way of everyone so he didn’t intoxicate them too much with the fumes of dye. I wrapped a towel around his shoulders then mixed the bleach until it was a bright white in the tub.
They all started up conversations about their tour and the next place they were at, which was in fact Newcastle. This then brought Sean to talk excitedly about football for some reason, he didn’t really pay much attention to it anyway, so I was surprised when he knew what was going on.
I drifted out of their conversations and focused on Gareth’s hair. I didn’t mind the smell so much. It took my mind off things, made me light headed and dizzy, but I liked it. I had finished with the bleach and was currently waiting the twenty minutes I needed for it to settle into his hair so I could put the red on top.
‘‘Gareth, where exactly are you going to wash this out?’’ I asked him a little curious since there was no shower space.
He sat in thought for a moment, clearly not thinking about that part before hand. ‘‘Erm…the sink.’’ He beamed, pointing towards it. I chuckled slightly and continued to wait.
I checked the time on my phone and realised twenty minutes had passed. I used cotton wool and pulled down the strands of Gareth’s hair to get rid of the excess bleach. I mixed the red hair dye he had given me in a separate tub then started to apply it to his hair. I enjoyed dying hair, I used to do mine a lot, then give up when Sam died. I couldn’t be bothered with it anymore, I didn’t feel the need to make an effort.
‘‘Have you, Maddy?’’ I heard Rhys ask and I snapped my attention towards him, I had completely zoned out of whatever they had been talking about.
‘‘Have I what?’’ I asked, confused but still applying dye to Gareth’s hair.
‘‘Had a one night stand?’’ He questioned and everyone turned to look at me. I really wished I had of been listening into their conversation so I was ready with some answer.
My hands froze and my body tensed, I knew Gareth felt something was wrong because he too tensed and tried to turn and look at me.
‘‘Nope.’’ I answered calmly then forced my hands to continue on with dyeing Gareth’s hair. They all turned away from me and continued on with their conversation. I made myself zone out again, I didn’t want to listen to the rest, I didn’t want to get sucked into it. I finished Gareth’s hair and helped him wash it after the directed amount of time he had to leave it on for. For the entire time I was helping him sort it out he gave me weird looks, like he was trying to pry into my brain for something.
‘‘I’m gonna call mum.’’ I said bluntly to Gavin and made my way to the back of the bus.
‘‘Send her my love.’’ He called after me and I sat on the couch at the back, shutting the door that kept out some of the noise from the bottom of the bus.
I dialled my house number and put my phone to my ear. It only rang twice before my mum picked up, excited to hear me say hello.
I could hardly get a word in edge ways because of all her questions. I had been away two days and she acted as though it had been a life time. She finally settled down and I was able to talk to her normally, telling her I missed her and that Gavin was being good and looking after me. I hadn’t told her about Sean and I because I feared she’d judge me on moving onto him. I knew everyone wanted me to move on but I felt like a bad person for doing so, and that everyone would look down at me. I finally said my goodbye to her and passed on Gavin’s love. I put down the phone and sighed. I missed her. I missed home. But I couldn’t think of that, it would only bring back hard memories and she had sent me away to get over them.
As I sat pondering around my thoughts there was a faint knock on the door and Gareth popped his head round.
‘‘Am I intruding?’’ He asked me, still only showing his head.
‘‘Nope, just said goodbye.’’ I told him and he entered the small room, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat facing me.
‘‘What was that about earlier?’’ He asked me, leaning forward slightly.
‘‘What was what about?’’ I asked, though I knew fine well what he was talking about.
‘‘Maddy, I know you know what I’m talking about. You seemed to get all tense and defensive when Rhys asked you that question.’’ Gareth said, explaining himself.
‘‘That’s just me, I was caught off guard, put on the spot, I was all confused at what was going on.’’ Gareth looked at me and raised his eyebrows. I couldn’t lie to any of them, and it sucked.
‘‘Tell me the truth, Maddison.’’ His tone was almost demanding. I hated when they said my full name, it sounded more intimidating and like I was forced to tell the truth to them.
‘‘There is no truth to tell, Snoz. I’ve just told you what happened, whether you accept that to be the truth or not is up to you.’’ I stated. I hardly ever used his nickname, I was always one for just plain old Gareth. But I had to make it sound like he was in the wrong and that there was no truth behind why I clammed up like I did.
‘‘Ok then. Just know, that whatever you’re hiding, is gonna come out sooner or later, Maddy.’’ He was so big brother-ish to me, and I couldn’t help but feel he was right, but I was going to try and keep it all from coming up.