How We Operate

"Matt! Where is my jersey?"

"I don't keep my room a pigsty like you do, Vi, I really can't help you!"

"Yes you can! C'mon, Matt, you have to help me or we're going to be late!"

Matthew sighed. He knew they wouldn't be late. They always arrived an hour before the game. Always. Because, even if Violet didn't want to acknowledge it, they were both crazy fans. Matt was known to have quite the potty mouth and Violet...well, she was just another story all together.

Matthew decided not to even bother arguing. "Did you check under the pile of crap?" He pointed to a giant pile of clothing in the corner of her room, opposite the hamper. "You know, that is what the hamper is for."

"Shut up! Those are clean clothes. I can't find it Matt! What am I going to do?"

"You can wear one of mine," Matthew walked back into his room and took his other Penguin's jersey off the wall. "It's a Malkin, you're going to have to deal with not wearing your precious Fleury tonight,"

"Fine. He may not be a goalie but he's sure a hell of a player. Gimmie," Violet pulled the jersey on over her black long sleeved shirt and ran out of her room, leaving Matt to pull the door shut.

Fifteen minutes later they arrived at Mellon Arena, and ambled through the hordes of people to their seats, section A27. Their lovely season tickets were a courtesy of Violet's mother. They went to every single home game.

Every. Single. One.

They were surprised that the team didn't recognize them by now, seeing as they sit so close to the ice and were quite enthusiastic about the game. Security did, though. Dane Waters was usually the one that kept Violet from starting a fight and wouldn't kick them out when she did. They didn't see him tonight.

"Who cares? It's fucking Tampa Bay, who the fuck cares about the Lightning?" Matt asked, folding his arms after Violet commented about her "guardian angel" being MIA.

A rowdy group of Tampa Bay fans sitting a section over hissed and shouted obscenities.

"Obviously they do," Violet shook her head at the men.

By the end of the first period Violet had eaten a hot dog and a pretzel and had chugged a the largest size of Pepsi that she could while Matthew had been content with just a water bottle. By the end of the second period Fedotenko had gotten in a fight and Violet had made a yo momma joke about Stamkos and a joke about Canadians, effectively starting a mini-riot and getting a warning from another security guard friend that if Violet couldn't keep her mouth shut they'd be watching the game from the tiny security office located nearly a quarter mile inside the building away from the ice.

Needless to say, Matthew did his job as the best friend and restrained Violet and, when Matt started cursing like it was his job, Violet tackled him to the ground, earning a bemused stare from none other than Kris Letang. The two young adults got up laughing and waved and a certain Violet told Mr. Letang to: "DO WORK!"

Kris shook his head laughing and skated away for the face off.

The third period was nearly uneventful. That is, until Malkin scored and banged up against the glass right in front of them causing Violet to shriek and drop her third pepsi on the ground.

"Fucking Geno!" She mumbled.

"Fucking Geno? Fucking you! You almost got pepsi on my jersey!"

With seven seconds to go Tanger flipped the puck up over the glass; it landed in Matt's lap by some freakish stroke of luck. "I think he did it on purpose." Violet said, picking up the rubber puck and waving it in the air. She was pretty sure she saw Tanger point at her. "We must've left a lasting impression,"

"Well, usually when a 5'2'' munchkin tackles a guy who's 5'10'' it leaves a lasting impression,"

"Yes. That you're a weakling,"

"Or that you have had three pepsies and will probably crash on the way home."

"Think he'll sign it for us?"

"You just want to go to the locker room to see if you can see a Penguin naked."

"I can see a Penguin naked all the time, all I have to do is go the the Zoo. But it's not that often I get a chance to see Sidney Crosby naked."

"Fair enough. No harm in trying,"

After a little victory dance when the Penguins won the two friends made their way to the locker room, saying hi to the various security guards privy to the knowledge of Violet's tendency toward violence.

"If it isn't Frik and Frak!"

"Dane!" Violet was swung into the arms of the thirty-five year old security guard.

"Why aren't you upstairs, buddy?" Matthew asked, slapping Dane on the back.

"Roger's on paternity leave so they've got me down here making sure no psychos come looking to rape el capitan," Dane gave Violet a pointed look.

"I'm not going to rape Sid the Kid! Gosh, everyone thinks my plan in life includes raping Sidney Crosby! For your information, I don't do rape." Violet folded her arms but the two men ignored her.

"Paternity leave?" Matt prompted.

"I know. For two weeks he gets to stay at home with his beloved wife while she nurses their fourth child. I mean, my wife is pregnant and I'm not going to take two weeks!"

"You're baby isn't due 'till August. By then hardly anything will be happening here, Dane."

"True point. Now why are you here if you insist it's not to rape Crosby?"

"Tanger threw us a puck. I want it signed,"

"Us? He threw me a puck. Me." Matt said.

"You know I'm just going to steal it and say it's ours so you might as well just acquiesce now." As Matt and Violet had a stare down Dane got the okay to take them in.

"Are you coming or what?"

Violet blinked first (Matt won) and the two followed Dane into the locker room.

"Oh gosh, real naked penguins!" Violet said to Matt.

"Oh great, now I get to hear about size in the car too..." Matt said. Dane's laughter was like a dog's bark and effectively alerted the team to the presence of the two best friends.

"Can we help you?" Gonchar asked.

"Kris Letang, did you flip the puck at us on purpose?" Violet burst out, completely ignoring Gonch's question.

"Hah, yes! I thought it'd get you here. I had a question. How did you knock him-" Matt fed Kris his name, "-Matt over?"

"Will power," - "A lot of sugar," Matt and Violet answered at once.

Tanger laughed and Matthew handed him the puck and a sharpie.

"So who's jersey do you have on, uh?"

"Violet," Violet supplied.

"Violet. Who's jersey?" Kris asked. The majority of the team was still watching the exchange and Talbot, Staal, and a few other perked up at this and piped in that they wanted to know.

"Well, I'm wearing Kunitz," Matt said.

"And I usually wear a Fleury jersey or a Talbot," Max nodded smugly, smiling at the small girl, "But since I apparently keep my room a mess-" "Apparently?" "-I couldn't find either and so I'm wearing Malkin tonight,"

And that was it. Evgeni Malkin looked up from his pants and made eye contact with Violet. And that was it. All conventional wisdom went down the drain and Matt knew he'd be left to pick up the pieces.