You're a Ghost, So Why Can I See You?

“What would you like?” a forty year old waitress asked me.

I sighed and gave her my menu. “Just tea, thanks.” I watched as she walked away and into the back.

I didn’t have to work today, so I decided to come to The Café. I wasn’t even sure why I came here. Maybe it was the big windows that let a lot of light in, or the friendly atmosphere, the slow jazz music filling the air, or maybe it was the fact that this place didn’t remind me of Ian.

Great. I’m thinking about him again.

What was wrong with me? I tried to get him out of my head, to not think about him, but it never worked. Practically everything reminded me of him. I groaned and put my head in my arms on the table. Being a teenager is so difficult!

“Excuse me?” a nice, male, friendly voice asked.

I raised my head and saw a tall guy with shaggy brown hair and bright green eyes. He was attractive, but nothing compared to Ian. GOD! Get out of my head!

“Yes?” I asked confused. I sat up in my chair and ruffled my hair. I probably looked like a mess.

The mysterious guy chuckled and smiled at me. “I saw you over here alone, and it looked like you needed someone to talk to.”

My eyes narrowed at him. “I don’t talk to strangers.”

He laughed at himself and stuck out a hand. “In that case, my name is Josh. I’m nineteen, go to OSI, majoring in Marine Biology, and have a pet cat named Tree. What else would you like to know?”

A smile involuntarily spread across my face. “Tree? Really?”

Josh shrugged lightly and nodded.

“Well, okay then.” I stuck my hand out and shook his. “I’m Peyton. Nice to meet you, Josh.”

He stood awkwardly for a second and rubbed the back of his neck just like Ian used to do… GOD DAMMIT!

“You can, uh, sit down if you want.” I motioned towards the chair in front of me and Josh sat. “So what are you doing here again?”

“You looked lost.” He propped his elbows up on the table and stared at me. “Has anyone ever told you that you have the most beautiful eyes?”

I blinked at his forwardness. “Um…Not lately?”

Josh grinned. “Well they are. And you happen to be the most beautiful creature I have seen in a long time.”

I nearly choked. “Creature?” Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?

“Yes,” Josh continued. “And I would love to take you out sometime…”

I shook my head frantically. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I guess I lost track of the time. I really should be going-” I quickly stood up and whipped out five buck for my tea. Needless to say, I wasn’t waiting for change.

“Nonsense.” Josh stood up with me and grabbed my wrist. “Come on. Let’s dance!”

I opened my mouth to refuse, but I was already being pulled across the floor and over to the dancing corner where couples were slow dancing. An elderly couple dancing nearby smiled at us.

“Here we go,” Josh said to me. He put his hands securely on my waist and pulled me into him. “Now just put your hands up here… There. Now close your eyes and just relax.”

I was beyond shocked. He seemed so normal at first! Kids, this is why you never trust strangers. Appearances can be deceiving, very, very deceiving. I came here to The Café to get away from emotions, feelings, etc…and here I am being felt up by a complete stranger! I wonder if his name is even Josh.

“Your hair smells soooo good,” the freak whispered in my ear. I shivered, but not in a good way.

“Okay,” I said, pushing him away from me. “I think you got the wrong idea. I’m not interested and I have a boyfriend whom I love very much. Goodbye, Josh.” I turned my back to him and started to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist and pulled my roughly back to him. My heart started beating faster and faster.

“Not yet,” he cooed. “You don’t want me to make a scene, do you?” He grabbed my ass and squeezed it hard, making me gasp.

“Let go,” I growled at him under my breath.

“More?” he asked with a smirk. “Good. I like it that way.” He brought his other hand up and squeezed my breast, making me shove him away this time. Screw no scene. I got enough of this at home.

“Hey!” I shouted. Everyone in the café stopped what they were doing and looked at us. The only noise was the lonely jazz music playing from the speakers. “Don’t ever come near me again,” I whispered harshly and turned away. I didn’t meet anyone’s eyes as I pushed my way through the doors and into the hazy evening. The sun was almost completely set, causing the sky to turn to dark, but beautiful colors of red, orange, and blue.

My mind was everywhere as I got in my jeep, put it in drive, and drove away from The Café. I wanted to cry, to shout, and to throw things. I was just so…so ANGRY. Was I not meant to be happy? Ethan was too annoying and not boyfriend material at all, Josh was a freak, my dad was a perverted sick freak, and Ian…Ian was a ghost. What good did I have going for me?

I guess I did have an okay job and a great friend. I was smart and got good grades. I could be open and social when needed, I was a generally nice person, and I was pretty. I laughed at that last one. You can get anywhere in this world as long as you’re pretty. Brains didn’t matter as nearly much as looks. What a pathetic world.

I pulled into the driveway of my house and turned off the car. I was lonely too. I wasn’t lonely for a guy’s arms to hold me, or lips to kiss, or someone to laugh with and smile with. I wasn’t lonely for just any random guy. I was lonely for Ian. He was ghost and I… I did what I promised myself I wouldn’t do.

And all it took was for him to disappear for me to realize it. It’s like the saying “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” Or something like that anyways…

I glanced at myself in the rearview mirror and saw a single, wet tear run down my cheek.

And another.

And then another.

I was in love. I was in love with Ian…