Let Me Count the Ways I Fell in Love With You

“You’re here… again,” Tania said sarcastically.

Oops.
He has definitely hurt her.

“Yeah, I’m here… again,” He replied, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Yes, he came back. To her. And even though she did not wear her wig today, she still looked as beautiful as he remembered – except of course for her lack skin colour. And her eyes that he so much loved still looked as lovely as when he had seen them on their first meeting – even though it was now replaced by coldness, but, well…

“Well… What do you want? … Again.”
“You,” He whispered.

She looked at him as if he was a stranger and even though it hurt him inside, he still smiled at her with determination. She shifted her eyes towards the patient across from her.
As soon as Shane had entered the ward that day, her father had left without so much as a glare. Because, he knew, as much as he wanted to strangle the boy, they had to talk.
Talk. Conversations make Tania sick.

“You know… My... Exams finished. I think I did pretty well,” He said again.

From the corner of her eyes, Tania could see him making himself comfortable on the visitor’s seat.
She kept quiet.
Silence.

“You know… I’m planning to go to Harvard University. You said you wanted to go there once. I’m not particularly sure what course I want to take but… I was hoping we could go there toge-”
“What do you want Shane Owen?” She asked again, still not looking at him.

Oh… When was the last time she called him by his full name? Once, when he had sent her to school for the first time that day. When they were still strangers.
Silently, Shane took out the piece of A4 paper that he had taken out. And even though he thought that those papers are the criminals of all criminals and the root of all evil, he still believed that that piece of paper contained the one thing that he had: His love.
He waved it in front of Tania once and waited. She looked at him with a frown but other than that, she did not move a muscle. Again, he waved it in front of her, indicating that she read it.
She rolled her eyes and snatched it away from him

“Wow, for someone so weak, she could definitely snatch…” he mentally chuckled.

With a frustrated grunt, Tania unfolded the paper with all the strength she had. Lately, she does not seem to have enough energy to move around. Stupid cancer. Stupid brain cancer.
She scanned the paper then slowly, read the letter:

{ Hey Baby girl!
Okay, I’m kidding. That name sucks. I would dutifully punch the daylights out of Darrel for you if he ever calls you that again. But, here I am, Shane Owen, Writing Tania Audrey Evans a letter to show her what a great, wonderful, superwoman she is.
You know, they said that a person falls in love once but, it’s not true. Because, every time I see you, my heart pumps faster and I fall in love with you all over again. Cheesy? I know.
But anyway, I am here not to write about cheesy love quotes (Or maybe I am?) but for you to Let Me Count The Ways I Fell In Love With You.

 T-here was this one quote that I heard: He who wants to do good knocks at the gate: he who loves finds the door open. Somehow, I feel like it depicts our meeting. Of course, technically, it was not me who knocked on the door, mother was. But, when I saw you that first time, the door was open and you were so different from those other girls I’ve met and I fell in love with you (I did not realise it till now). Like that Taylor Swift song, ‘till you opened the door, there's so much more I'd never seen it before I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings but you came along and you changed everything’
 A-fter that, I couldn’t keep my eyes off of you cause your eyes were the most beautiful colour I have every seen.
 N-ext meeting was 3 weeks after that. Well, not really, but our next real meeting. The car… Remember? You were so cute because you listen to Taylor Swift songs and you really liked that song ‘Crazier’. You slapped my hand away! And, believe It or not, you made me ‘crazier’ and I fell in love with you.
I-t was dinnertime when I first saw you smile. You had the most sweetest smile I have ever seen and I fell in love with you. Ever since then, I yearn to see you smile again.
A-nd then, you have this characteristic of being stubborn. You want it your way and you’re not afraid of standing up to what you think is right. Like that time you demanded that I ask you politely. Oh, how much I loved you boldness. And so, if you have not guess it, than I’ll tell you, I fell in love with you again.

AUDREY- is your middle name and everyone calls you T.A.; everyone you know anyway. And I fell in love with you. Period.

Evans- Is your father’s name. Even though you think your father might be wrong on some – okay, most? – of the occasions, you still respected him like how you respected everyone else who deserves respect. And I fell in love with you knowing that you have that characteristics where it is rare to find in people this days.

I- love the way you laugh

L-ove the way you say ‘well’ when you’re nervous (Frankly, I find it cute.)
O-n top of that, you have a sassy yet strong personality. I love that about you.
V-arious times, I would curl back into the darkness because of the stresses from school and the sorts but, you were there to encourage me and I fell in love with you.
E-verytime I touch your lips, I fell in love with you. P.S: It was the softest I have felt.

U-ntil the end, I will always love. And I know this does not count as the way I fell in love with you but, well…

Alright, and that’s how it went. In other words, I, Shane Owen, loves everything and anything about Tania Audrey Evans.
Alright, now read out the first letters/words of each pointers.}

Tania did. Her eyes scanned back to the first part of the pointer and started reading them aloud, “T-A-N-I-A AUDREY EVANS I L-O-V-E … U…” She whispered the last word out.
“Oh…” She said, stumped. Tears streamed down her cheeks and smeared the ink on the paper.
“Keep reading,” Shane urged. She could hear the smile in his voice.

She continued reading:

{Yes. I love you, Tania Audrey Evans. And I love your name. People say Love is blind. Then, there’s this famous artist - Georg C. Lichtenberg – that said, ‘Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.’.
And so, I yearn to restore that sight again.
Therefore, Tania, please unfold the pocket on the right.}

Tania glanced at the bottom right of the paper and for the first time, she saw a small pocket. With shivering hands, she tore the pocket away from the staples – cheesy – and was stumped, once again, when a beautiful ring fell out. She froze.
Shane took the ring with his left, and with his right, he took Tania’s left hand.

“I know that you’re still young but, I am already of legal age. Besides, I want everyone want to know that you’re mine. So, Tania Audrey Evans…” He looked her in the eye, “Will you marry me?”

Tania gulped in imaginary saliva. She could hardly believe her eyes when Shane stood on one knee beside her bed and proposed to her; his eyes a mix of uncertainty and determination – for obvious reasons.

“Uhh…” She trailed as phlegm got stuck in her throat.
Oh no… oh yes. The sweetest guy is proposing to her, what could be holding her off? Oh yes… The sickness. No matter how much she wanted to accept his proposal, she could not. Because of her sickness.

“If you’re thinking about your sickness, then stop thinking about it. Because no matter what, even if you were insane or just plain crazy, you can’t stop me from loving you,” Shane said, reading her mind.

She felt herself smile. Oh, what is she to do with him? Oh yes, perhaps love him more. She nodded once, then said, “Yes, Shane Owen… I’ll marry you.”

Suddenly, claps and cheers rang through the whole ward and Tania could not help but grin from ear to ear. The ring slid into her finger smoothly and Shane hugged her. Too weak to do anything, she just shut her eyes and silently smiled. The last of her tears sliding down her cheeks.

Finally, after the cheering ended, Shane sat back in the chair. He had a big grin on his face. Tania admired the ring and asked, “Where did you get the ring?”
“Mother. While I was writing the note, she came in and gave me the ring… She said it was her mother’s ring and it has been brought down from generations to generations. Oh, just the normal family stuffs.”

Tania nodded curtly.

“What do you think of the letter?”
“Kinky…” She said, still grinning.

Still holding his fiancée’s hand, he rubbed the back of her hand with thumb. Then, he felt a heavy weight settling on him when he looked into her pale face. The sickness.

“Tania… maybe… maybe you should take the surgery. You still have some chances of surviving…” Shane tried.

Tania searched his face.

“You know, a wise person once told me…” He said, “In life, you have two choices, to be or not to be…”
“Isn’t that Shakespeare?” She mocked.
“I’m not finished! Anyway, these two choices… can be a matter relating to life and death,” He leaned forward and kissed her hand. “And for me, I want you to choose ‘to be’. I want you to choose ‘to be alive’.”

He looked seriously into her eyes.
She opened her mouth to say something when a nurse came in and interrupted them.

“I’m sorry you two lovebirds but, I’ve got to do a check on Tania today. Could you please kindly wait outside Mr Owen?” The nurse smiled at him.

Shane nodded, disappointed as he was not able to hear what Tania had to say.

“Hello, you! How’re you today?” The nurse asked cheerfully. “Oh, that ring is gorgeous. I heard the chaos from well over a mile. You must be giddy with happiness Mrs. Shane Owen-to-be,” She wriggled her eyebrows suggestively and she went along with her work.
Tania could only nod as she was being checked up by the nurse.
Finally, when they were done, the nurse prepared to leave when Tania stopped her.
“Yes, dear?” She asked.
With a determined resolution, Tania cleared her throat and said, “I… I want that operation nurse. Would be possible to do it as soon as possible? I… I want…” She smiled, “I want ‘to be’ alive.”

With the biggest smile and the biggest nod Tania had seen, the nurse assured her that she would ask her doctor about the surgery. She promised that she would persuade the doctor to do it as soon as possible. With that, she skipped off back to her work area.