Let Me Count the Ways I Fell in Love With You

“T.A. I really need you to keep up with me. Recently, the cells are multiplying. It’s really quite worrying considering that it has been going slow last year when you had your chemo. It was going pretty well,” Doctor Angelico voiced out as he tried to make eye contact with Tania.

Tania nodded lazily and she glanced at everything in the room except him. Once in awhile, she would scratch her ear or her neck. The doctor was talking to her like she was a kid and frankly, it was getting on her nerves. It was all she could do not to grab his collar and give him a good little punch.

“T.A… Are you following me?”

Okay, maybe a not-so-little punch.

“Yes, Doctor Angelico… I’m following you,”
“I really hope that you are following your scheduled chemotherapies. I would have preferred if you would take the surgery. You still have some chances. You have not yet reached the final stage of- ”
“NO.” She said sternly, “The chances of me dying in a surgery, dying on the cold, hard metal are higher than the chances of me living.”
“But… We could bring you to the most respected hospital. Prodigy doctors could work on you. If money is your concern, we could give you funds. Even if the chances of dying are higher, at least, there is still a chance of you living. This surgery could end your sufferings T.A,” he pleaded.
Tania shook her head in defiance. “No… It’s alright Doc. I’d rather not know when I would die than knowing that I would die during an operation. I know it sounds stupid but…” She looked into her doctor’s eyes and gave him a small smile, “At least, I’ll have a few more months, or if I’m lucky, years to learn to hope and… love,” She whispered the last word.

Doctor Angelico only nodded and sighed as he signed a document on his table.

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“What time are you coming back T.A?” Her father asked, worry lining his forehead.
Tania turned and looked at her dad, a smile on her lips. “I’m not sure dad… Maybe about-” She looked at the clock: 4:24PM, “6:30.”
“Oh my… Are you sure you’re going to be okay? Do you want me to fetch you?”
“What? In that old jeep of yours?” She joked. Than stopped when she saw that her dad was serious. She sighed, approached her dad and put her hands on both sides of his shoulder. “I’ll be fine dad. Really! I’ve just had my chemo on thursday. I’m fine…” She stressed her last word.
“Ok honey,” He said, unconvinced. “Well, if you need me just…” He looked around for his hand phone and placed it into one of Tania’s hand. “Just call me alright? And tell that lover-boy of yours too okay?”

Tania gave him a sceptical look to let him know that he was over-reacting. Still, he just looked at her to ask her for her assurance.

“Yes dad. Yes, yes, yes. I assure you that I will call you. And, he is not my lover-boy. It’s just a normal dinner.”
“I’m not so sure about that honey. You’re wearing that dress you bought last year before…” he hesitated.
She grinned at him, letting him know that she did not mind. “Yes, well… I just wanted to wear it… to try it,” She said lamely.
“Right, I know when my girl is in love…” He huffed then smiled. “Which is good. I never thought that this day would come! I must thank the gods for this!” He joked and kissed her forehead.

Love shone in his eyes and in that moment, she realised how much she loved her dad too. They hugged and she did not want to let go. Unfortunately, the doorbell rang. Her dad let go of her with fake annoyance and headed for the door. She raised an eyebrow at his retreating back.

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“Okay, what did my dad say to you?” Tania asked as they entered the restaurant Shane had booked.

It was a classic restaurant. The theme was red and black, the colours of romance, love and – to Tania – hope.
She had asked him that question because he had been quiet along the ride. Cold sweat had broke out on his forehead even though the car’s air-condition was on to full. He had not uttered as much as “you look beautiful today” – which he kept repeating by the way.
He looked down at her and smiled nervously.

“For how many sir?” The waiter asked with a little too much smile on her face.
“I’ve booked a table under the name Owen,” He replied.
“Oh, well. Give me a moment…… Ah! Here. Mr. Owen, A table for two at the special corner, am I right?” She smiled.
“Yes. That’s right.”
“Well, follow me…” She turned and headed towards the ‘special’ corner.

They followed and when she stopped in front of the table, Tania was rendered speechless. Indeed, the place was ‘special’. It was so beautiful and it stood in a secluded area, away from the noise and buzz of the restaurant. The chairs – sofa like – were red in colour and the table black. Tania looked up at Shane and saw him smiling down at her. Instinctively, she turned away and smiled to herself.

Shane held the small of her back and urged her to sit. She did. When he met her, he could not forget the shock he experienced. She looked so beautiful. She had tied her hair up in a ponytail with a few loose hairs dangling out. She had worn a red, sleeveless dress. The hem of the dress going up from left to right. She was… Stunning

Shane slid into the seat opposite of hers and looked at the menu. Once in awhile, he would sneak a glance at the beautiful woman in front of him. Fortunately, she seemed oblivious to his stares and was engrossed in the menu in front of her. He thought that it was cute.
Somehow, he did not know how and when it happened. He just knew that it had slapped him across his face when he least knew it. That day, when he had seen her smile up close, he just felt the breath escaping him. She had stolen his breath away… and possibly his heart. Then, all he felt was the will to touch her and do anything for her.
She was so different than those other girls he had seen or even talked to. Firstly, she did not even want to talk to him. Then, she would detach herself from him, unlike those other girls who would rub themselves against him like he was a rubber toy. Her lips, her smile, her laughter. Everything. He wanted everything…

“May I have your order please, sir?” An annoying, shrilly voice interrupted his thoughts.

He glared at the waitress that had come up to them. The waitress took a step back in fear and asked them again. He shook his thoughts away and gave her an apologetic smile.
Seeing that Shane had softened up, the girl took a step forward and resumed her flirty way.

“Yes… I would like a rare steak and give us a coke please. What would you like Tania?” He looked at Tania.
She looked up from her menu and gave him a ‘help-me’ look. He chuckled lightly and said, “Just give her your specials today,” then, “Are you okay with seafood, Tania?”
Tania nodded vigorously, and mouthed ‘thanks’ to him. He smirked in amusement. Has she never been to a restaurant before?

Then, she asked the one thing he has been avoiding since the time they walked into the restaurant: ‘What did my dad say to you Shane? Don’t try to avoid me.”

He sighed. She is not going to drop this is she?

With a resigned sigh, he simply said, “He told me to take care of you or he’ll detach my limbs from my body. It’s quite frightening if you actually imagine it.”

He heard Tania laughed and glanced at her. Again, his breath caught.

“Is that right? Well, you don’t have to worry about his threats. The most he would do is break your hands or legs or both,” She grinned.
“Jee, thanks Tania. I feel a lot better now,” He replied sarcastically, and they laughed.

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“Alright! So, let’s play a game. We’ll take turns asking each other questions,” Shane proposed as they walked barefoot on the soft sand after dinner. Their shoes in their hands and they were walking really close but, strangely, Tania did not feel uncomfortable at all.
“Sure! I’ll start!” She grinned.
“Okay… Ask away.”
“Uhh…” She licked her lips, “ Can I ask a personal question?”
“Sure…”
“Alright… I’m sorry to ask you this but, I notice that your mother has a wedding ring but, I have not seen her husband so… what happened to your dad?” She asked unsure.
“He died,” Shane shrugged, “Of a cancer. I don’t know what cancer since my mother won’t tell me…”
“Oh… I’m sorry…” Silence. Then she whispered, “My mother… She died. Of Brain cancer too.” Tania ducked her head.
“Oh… I’m sorry…” Shane whispered as he took Tania’s hands into his. He rubbed his thumbs on the back of her hand in a form of comfort.
“Uh-huh. Everyone is…… But, Well! Enough of that! Your turn Shane!” She beamed at him.

“Wow… She’s strong…”He thought.

“Well, okay. Why do you not attach yourself to people? Other than the fact that you moved a lot. I mean, I’m sure you would have made some friends along the way…”
She stared off into the distance as soon as he finished the sentence. Guilt rose in his bile and he was about to amend his mistake when she turned to him and beamed. “I’ve got my reasons. I’ve been hurt a lot by those… ‘friends’ I’ve made. So, I guess I just decided to…” she shook her head, “Break the relations?” She choked.

Shane rubbed the small of her back and mumbled a ‘sorry’. Tania shook her head and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Kay! My turn,” She exclaimed. “Why me, Shane? There’re like, tons of other girls out there. Much more beautiful and prettier than me!” she crunched her face as she said it.

Shane stopped walking and Tania had to stop too. He searched her face and his eyes finally landed onto hers.

“I don’t know… Maybe because in my eyes, you’re the most beautiful and prettiest than those other girls out there.” He whispered.

Tania noticed how low his voice turns when he whispers and truthfully, it sounded sexy to her.

“My turn…” He said again, “Would you say ‘yes’ if I were to ask you to be mine?”

Her eyes widened in shock. Then, a wave of feelings overwhelmed her.

“What?” She blinked, tears threatened to fall.

“No... He can’t do this. What am I doing? I thought I wanted to start hoping again? But, wait! What if he leaves? Like those other people? Like… him? He’s going to leave isn’t he? You’re not going to know unless you try right? But, what if I tried and I end up hurting? I’ve fallen too deeply… Then, just accept. I can’t!! Stop!” Tania’s mind debated.

“Hey… Tania… Are you alright? Why are you crying? Tania?” Shane brushed her tears away with the back of his hands.

God help him, his heart was shredding at that moment. All he could think of was to comfort her and not make her cry. He never wanted to see her cry again…

“Tania…”
“I’m-” She choked, “I-I-I’m f-fine… I…” She stuttered and rubbed her tears away furiously.
“What’s wrong Tania? Are you okay? Was it me? Did I say something wrong?”
“No! No… I can’t! Do… this… Shane. I’m not… I don’t know! I…” She looked into Shane’s eyes hopefully hoping that he would understand her situation.

Unfortunately, of course, he did not.

“I don’t get it… You can’t… say ‘yes’ to me? You know, I would have preferred if you said you don’t want to say ‘yes’ to me…” He said, confusion and hurt edged in his voice.
“What? No! You don’t understand! I just… can’t!” She whined back.
“Why not?!”
“Cause… Be-cause… Damn it, Shane! I don’t know!”
“Then why can’t you?”

He grabbed both her hands and turned her towards him so that they stood facing each other.

Then, he asked again, softer, gentler, “Why can’t you Tania?”

Tears dripped her eyes again and she closed them in a failed attempt to hold the tears in.

“I’ll never hurt you … I promise. Tania… I promise I’ll never hurt you…” Shane whispered.

She opened her glassy, red eyes and stared into Shane’s eyes – which she has been doing since the first time they met.

“I’ll never hurt you Tania… I promise…” He said again, his voice gently washed over her like a tropical breeze.

She gulped hard.

“My turn,” she whispered hoarsely, “Do you love me Shane?”
“Yes,” He said confidently. He did not know where it came from. All he knew was that he felt it and that was enough for him.

She nodded pathetically and looked at her shoes. She felt him drawing her into his chest. All her resolve shattered into pieces when he hugged her, firmly yet gently. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, “Oh, Tania…”.
They stood there for a few minutes, the ocean wave licking their legs gently. Tania could not help but relish the moment. The feel of his hard, muscled body against hers. The strong but gentle hug she received, the hope that was starting to blossom in her, the love for him that she already felt and the feel of his big hands caressing her body and hair.
Tania wondered when the feeling had started. Without her knowing, the feelings had already begun to bloom. Nonetheless, she loved the way it touched her heart. It was the one thing she had given up hope for yet, now, all she could of was that she would never let go of this feeling.

Unfortunately, Shane’s phone rang and they she separated herself from him reluctantly. She wiped away her leftover tears as he flipped his phone open and answered it in annoyance.

“Shane? Is Tania there? Is she alright? She said she would be back home by 6:30… Is she there?” Mr. Evans’ panicked voice spoke into the receiver.

He peeped at his watch and saw that it was already 8.

“Uh-oh. A great first impression…” He thought sarcastically.

“Yes, sir. She’s with me. I’m sorry for the delay. I’ll send her home right no-”
“Yes. Yes. Thank you very much. And, please hurry…”

Click. The phone ended.

Shane rubbed the back of his neck and noticed that Tania was looking at him expectantly. He just shook his head, took her hand and headed back towards his car in silence.