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Introduction: <Mikey (age seven) and Gerard (age ten) are sitting on the front steps of their elementary school. They are pulling items out of their lunch bags, Gerard frowning slightly as he holds the last package-Oreo cookies-up to his eyes. Looking over at Mikey, a devious smile spreads across his face. Clearing his throat, he turns and faces Mikey.>

Gerard (persuasively): Hey Mikey, I’ll trade you my cookies for your cheese.

<Mikey looks at his cheese and then at Gerard.>

Mikey (neutral): No, I don’t think so.

(Starts unwrapping cheese, Gerard moves closer to his younger brother, sliding across the marble surface of the stair he was sitting on.>

Gerard (more forcibly): I’ll trade you my cookies, for your cheese.

<Mikey shakes his head, taking the cheese fully out of the packaging.>

Mikey (neutral): No thanks, Gerard. I’m good with my cheese.

(Gerard frowns, looming over Mikey. Mikey goes to take a bite from the cheese.>

Gerard (screaming): GIVE ME YOUR CHEESE!!!!

<Mikey startles, jumping up from the stairs, landing on the package of cookies.>

Mikey (feebly): Okay…

<Hand the cheese to Gerard, who smirks. They both sit down again, Mikey picking up the package of crushed cookies, staring at it with distaste.>

Gerard (mockingly): Thank-you, Mikey!

<Mikey glares at him, while Gerard holds the cheese up to his mouth. Just as he is about to take a bite, a boy about Mikey’s age walks up to him. Gerard looks up at the boy, frowning, recognizing him as Mikey’s annoying friend.>

Frank (conversationally): Hi ya Gerard! Hey Mikey!

<Mikey weakly waves, Gerard simply glowers at him>

Frank (excitedly): Oh! Is that Cheese?

<Frank reaches and grabs the cheese from Gerard. He stuffs it in his mouth, smiling as he chews. Gerard stands up, towering over Frank. He looks daggers at him, as Mikey looks on with interest.>

Gerard (angrily): You moron! That was my effing cheese!

<waves arms around manically. Frank smiles on, use to Gerard’s screaming by now. He seems to find it rather entertaining. Gerard gets more infuriated by this, and begins stomping on the marble stairs.>

Mikey (meekly): Actually, it was my cheese…

<Frank’s face falls and he looks genuinely sorry for taking the cheese. He walks around Gerard’s tantrum, and stands behind Mikey on the stairs. Opening his mouth, he spits out the chewed cheese on Mikey’s head. Gerard stops screaming, and looks at Mikey with an open mouth.>

Frank (apologetically): I’m sorry for taking your cheese, Mikey.

<Mikey, horrified, pulls his fingers through his hair, pulling chunks of cheese out. Gerard begins laughing, sitting back down on the stairs.>

Mikey (grossed out): Ew! Frankie, that’s sick! Yuck!

<Mikey continues to pull chunks of cheese out of his hair, as Gerard continues laughing. He opens his sandwich box, and laughs a little harder.>

Gerard (through laughing): Hey, Mikey. Grandma put cheese on my sandwich, so I guess I had some all along.

<Mikey frowns at Gerard, who takes a bite of his sandwich. Frank leans down and smells Mikey’s hair.>

Frank (happily): You smell good, Mikey.
<Mikey stares straight ahead, not looking at Frank or Gerard. His hand is trembling with rage, and the bag of cookies burst open, sending crumbs falling down the steps. Frank leans forwards and licks Mikey’s hair. Mikey merely whimpers, and lowers his head. Gerard guffaws through a mouthful of food, but the three of them look up when they hear a voice.>

Yard Supervisor (exasperatedly): Frank Iero! What are you doing now? Is that Cheese in Michael’s hair? Frank!

<Frank mutters “uh oh”, and begins running away from the steps. The supervisor chases after him, yelling all the while. Gerard finishes his sandwich, and looks down at Mikey’s box. Mikey looks at his older brother, not smiling.>

Gerard (persuasively): Hey Mikey is there cheese on your sandwich?

<the end>