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(Gerard is 6, Mikey is 3, and Frank is 2)

<Mikey and Frank are playing in the sandbox, Gerard is hiding from his mom in the bushes. Donna has set the camera down on the side of the sandbox, while searching for her eldest son>

Mikey: Fwank? Gimme the shovel… (Frank drools, throwing the plastic shovel at Mikey)

Frank: Mikey, yous is digging wrong, dude.

Mikey: (shakes head) No!!! I’m pwerfect at bwuilding castwels.

Frank: Whateber… (dumps the bucket of sand down Mikey’s shirt)

Mikey: Ewy!! Sand!! (jumps up and takes of his shirt, throwing it to the ground)

Frank: (laughing) Mikey, yous funny! (stares into bushes) Puppy!

Mikey: (looking around) Nah, me thinks it Geward…(loud, girlish scream as Gerard trips, crawling out from the bush)

Gerard: I was licked! I was licked! Mommy!!!!!! (runs into Donna, still screaming)

Donna: Gerard, there you are…time for your bath young man…

Gerard: No!!! I was attacked by a licking fiend!

Frank: I sawed a puppy doggy! (Toddles over to the bush, drags a border collie pup out of it)

Gerard: Ack! See?! (Donna pulls Frank away from the dog, catching it and patting its head)

Donna: Aw, she’s adorable…and doesn’t seem to have and tags…well, I’m going to call your dad, to see if he’ll pick up some food for this little angel.

Gerard: (yelling at his mom’s retreating form) Mommy!!!!! No! No! No!!!! I don’t WANT a dog!!

Mikey: I do! Come here baby puppy! (Climbs on top of dog, while Frank licks its face)

Frank: Yup, it’s a puppy awright Mikey. (Hugs its front)

Gerard: I hate you, dog. (Walks away)

Donna: Okay, Don’s picking up food. Frank, your mom said that you could stay the night. Mikey, grab your shirt sweetie and we’ll bring the baby inside. Gerard, honey, and grab the camera…and hurry into the bathroom. (Leads the two toddlers and the dog into the house)

Gerard: I HATE my life… (grumbles, picking up the camera and switching it off)

<*camera switches back on, its later in the day, and Frank is crying over a chewed up teddy bear*>

Frank: Wah!!!! Mr. Cuddlebuns!!!! Why!?!?!? Why?!!??!?! (hits forehead and fists on floor, bawling)

Donna: I am so sorry Frankie…(runs fingers through his hair) I don’t know why this Angel would chew up your bear…

Gerard: Maybe it’s because the dog food dad bought tastes so icky. (from far corner of the room)

Donna: (still consoling Frank) Wait…you ate Angel’s dog food?

Gerard: No…(pauses, a wide smirk on his face) I fed it to Mikey. (Donna gasps, looking over at her youngest son)

Mikey: I HATE dog food…

Frank: M-My bear…I HATE your puppy doggy! Grrr!!! (jumps up from the ground, and pounces on the dog)

Donna: Frank, don’t! She may bite-

Frank: Aaaah!!!!! I’m bweeding!!!!! Ahh!!!! (rolls into ball on the floor, whimpering)

Mikey: Oh my BIG BIRD! Mom!!! Fwankie’s dying!!! (starts running around in circles)

Gerard: I TOLD you that dog was no good! I TOLD you Donna, but no one EVER listens to me!

Donna: Oh Frank, it’s just a scratch…

Gerard: But Frank, it could have rabies!! Or…it could get infecticated…and you could DIE!

Frank: Ack! I’m gonna die!!! (starts thrashing around, tripping Mikey, who lands on top of him)

Mikey: Aah!!! It’s contwagious! Now I’M gonna die!!!! (starts bawling)

Donna: Boys! You are FINE! Frank, a little band aid and you’ll be good as new. (picks up Frank in her arms) Mikey, sweetheart, you are perfectly safe…Gerard, come up for your bath…NOW mister!

Gerard: No! Not until you get rid of that…evil…spirit of an animal… (yields a plastic sword)

Donna” Gerard. Bath. Now!

Gerard: Fine! Maybe I’ll DROWN and be saved the bloody death that the rest of you buttheads will endure as a result of that thing! (stomps up the stairs, screaming loudly about mutiny within the household)

Donna: Mikey, baby, can you switch off that camera? The red lights on…yah, that button. To your left…your OTHER left!

Mikey: I think I gots it…Mommy, do we get to keep the puppy?

Donna: Uh…-

<*Mikey finally finds the right button, camera clicks off*>