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Episode 18: The Soccer Incident
<Gerard is 11, Mikey is 9, Frank is 8, Bob is 10, Ray is 11>
(from the sidelines of a soccer pitch, Donna has the camera)
Announcer: It’s the game we’ve all been waiting for! The Belleville Buzzards versus The Chicago Cheetahs!
(Buzzards dressed in green, Cheetahs in purple. Blonde boy shoves Gerard)
Bob: We’re gonna beat your ass, fag!
Gerard: Step off, jerk! I don’t even play soccer… (resentfully)
Bob: You’re wearing the uniform, dip-shit. (tugs at Gerard’s sleeve)
Frank: (runs up, almost tripping over a tuff of grass) Whoa! You’re scarier than Gerard!
Bob: Shouldn’t you be playing in the sandbox, shrimp? (Frank looks down at his feet, a sad look on his face)
Gerard: Hey! No one picks on Frankie but ME. (steps in front of Frank)
(Mikey ambles over to left forward, nervously adjusting his glasses)
Bob: (scoffs, looking at Mikey) Geez…as if your team wasn’t wimpy or geeky enough without that freak…
Gerard: Okay Bryar…YOU. ME. HERE. NOW! (eyes narrowing)
Bob: Bring it on, bitch! (steps forward)
Ref: Okay boys, let’s play some soccer. Captains, shake hands. (Bob and Ray shake hands)
Bob: (mouthing) You’re DEAD Way…
Announcer: And Toro starts it off by passing it to little Mikey Way, who crosses it over to his brother. Way carries the ball, he’s weaving through the defense. I don’t think we’ve seen this much energy from Way in…ever!
Bob: (calling from a few feet behind Gerard) Make a shot and I’ll castrate your brother!
Gerard: Fuck you Bryar! (kicks the ball very hard)
Announcer: And the ball sails right between Wentz’s hands! Way’s scored! (crowd roars)
Mikey: Good shot, Gerard! (beaming)
Gerard: (panting) Thanks, Mikes. (Looks over at Bob, and leans in close to Mikey’s ear) Watch out for the big ugly one with the blonde hair.
Mikey: Why? (wearily)
Gerard: He, uh…wants to have sex with you. (calmly)
Mikey: WHAT!? (runs into the back of a Chicago player with ‘Hurley’ written across the back of his shirt)
Gerard: Just watch out, okay? (positions himself back in proper formation)
Announcer: Bryar passes it forward to young Stump, who trips over the ball. Bryar doubles back and takes the ball, crossing it to Hurley-INTERCEPTED by Iero! Iero runs down the field…Man, does that kid have speed!
Frank: Lookie me! I’m running WITH the ball! I’m- (Bob pummels Frank, landing on top of him)
Ref: (whistle) Penalty kick awarded to Belleville!
Frank: Ow! (crying) I think he broke my SPLEEN!!! (Mikey and Ray run to his side)
Ray: Frankie, your spleen is fine…but your ankle looks swollen… (picks him up, Mikey supporting the other arm as they lead him to the bench)
Announcer: Tough break for pint-sized Frank Iero…Rickly quickly comes on to replace him. Way runs to take the penalty kick. (Gerard kicks the ball, and it rebounds off the face of a young boy with shaggy blonde hair, he falls to the ground)
Bob: Patrick! (runs to his side) Can you hear me little buddy!?
Patrick: Oh ya Bob…I’m fine, really…but…isn’t it messed up, how I’m just dying to be him? (woozily points at Mikey before passing out)
Gerard: (cheekily) Hee hee…oops?
Bob: GRRR!!!! (charges at Gerard, who moves. Bob runs into Ray instead.)
Ray: Oof! Careful Bryar…(pushes Bob away from him)
Bob: You’re DEAD MEAT Way!!!!! (leers at Mikey, sneering)
Mikey: (lip quivering) Gee…Mom…he’s gonna…have….SEX WITH ME!!!!! (wails)
Frank: (from bench) Don’t worry Mikey! No one has sex with you but me! (crowd gasps; Frank leans into his Mom’s ear) Mom-what’s sex? (whispers)
Bob: (disgusted and confused) What the- ?! You dweeb! I’m not gonna fuck you…but I AM gonna kill you!!! (punches Mikey square in the jaw)
Mikey: Ow! (falls over; but before he can even shed a tear, Gerard’s pulled Bob to the ground)
Gerard: NO ONE…and I mean NO ONE….fucks with my little brother! (Begins slapping and pounding on Bob)
Bob: Erg! Way, you…Argh! (rolls on top of Gerard, punching his nose)
Frank: (excited) Mommy, is THAT sex?
Gerard: Ack! Ow! I think you broke my nose, Bryar!
Ref: (whistles, pulling Bob off) Alright, that’s enough! Bryar, Way! You are BOTH out of this game!
Announcer: Captain Robert Bryar from Chicago and striker Gerard Way from Belleville have been sent out of the game for rough play.
Mikey: (walking behind Gerard) Thanks, Gee…(hugs him lightly)
Gerard: (holding his bleeding nose) Don’t mention it Mikey, you’re MY brother…(glares at Bob)
Mikey: Do you think we’ll ever see him again?
Gerard: Oh man…I HOPE not….
<camera clicks off as Donna goes to scold Gerard>
<*the end*>
(from the sidelines of a soccer pitch, Donna has the camera)
Announcer: It’s the game we’ve all been waiting for! The Belleville Buzzards versus The Chicago Cheetahs!
(Buzzards dressed in green, Cheetahs in purple. Blonde boy shoves Gerard)
Bob: We’re gonna beat your ass, fag!
Gerard: Step off, jerk! I don’t even play soccer… (resentfully)
Bob: You’re wearing the uniform, dip-shit. (tugs at Gerard’s sleeve)
Frank: (runs up, almost tripping over a tuff of grass) Whoa! You’re scarier than Gerard!
Bob: Shouldn’t you be playing in the sandbox, shrimp? (Frank looks down at his feet, a sad look on his face)
Gerard: Hey! No one picks on Frankie but ME. (steps in front of Frank)
(Mikey ambles over to left forward, nervously adjusting his glasses)
Bob: (scoffs, looking at Mikey) Geez…as if your team wasn’t wimpy or geeky enough without that freak…
Gerard: Okay Bryar…YOU. ME. HERE. NOW! (eyes narrowing)
Bob: Bring it on, bitch! (steps forward)
Ref: Okay boys, let’s play some soccer. Captains, shake hands. (Bob and Ray shake hands)
Bob: (mouthing) You’re DEAD Way…
Announcer: And Toro starts it off by passing it to little Mikey Way, who crosses it over to his brother. Way carries the ball, he’s weaving through the defense. I don’t think we’ve seen this much energy from Way in…ever!
Bob: (calling from a few feet behind Gerard) Make a shot and I’ll castrate your brother!
Gerard: Fuck you Bryar! (kicks the ball very hard)
Announcer: And the ball sails right between Wentz’s hands! Way’s scored! (crowd roars)
Mikey: Good shot, Gerard! (beaming)
Gerard: (panting) Thanks, Mikes. (Looks over at Bob, and leans in close to Mikey’s ear) Watch out for the big ugly one with the blonde hair.
Mikey: Why? (wearily)
Gerard: He, uh…wants to have sex with you. (calmly)
Mikey: WHAT!? (runs into the back of a Chicago player with ‘Hurley’ written across the back of his shirt)
Gerard: Just watch out, okay? (positions himself back in proper formation)
Announcer: Bryar passes it forward to young Stump, who trips over the ball. Bryar doubles back and takes the ball, crossing it to Hurley-INTERCEPTED by Iero! Iero runs down the field…Man, does that kid have speed!
Frank: Lookie me! I’m running WITH the ball! I’m- (Bob pummels Frank, landing on top of him)
Ref: (whistle) Penalty kick awarded to Belleville!
Frank: Ow! (crying) I think he broke my SPLEEN!!! (Mikey and Ray run to his side)
Ray: Frankie, your spleen is fine…but your ankle looks swollen… (picks him up, Mikey supporting the other arm as they lead him to the bench)
Announcer: Tough break for pint-sized Frank Iero…Rickly quickly comes on to replace him. Way runs to take the penalty kick. (Gerard kicks the ball, and it rebounds off the face of a young boy with shaggy blonde hair, he falls to the ground)
Bob: Patrick! (runs to his side) Can you hear me little buddy!?
Patrick: Oh ya Bob…I’m fine, really…but…isn’t it messed up, how I’m just dying to be him? (woozily points at Mikey before passing out)
Gerard: (cheekily) Hee hee…oops?
Bob: GRRR!!!! (charges at Gerard, who moves. Bob runs into Ray instead.)
Ray: Oof! Careful Bryar…(pushes Bob away from him)
Bob: You’re DEAD MEAT Way!!!!! (leers at Mikey, sneering)
Mikey: (lip quivering) Gee…Mom…he’s gonna…have….SEX WITH ME!!!!! (wails)
Frank: (from bench) Don’t worry Mikey! No one has sex with you but me! (crowd gasps; Frank leans into his Mom’s ear) Mom-what’s sex? (whispers)
Bob: (disgusted and confused) What the- ?! You dweeb! I’m not gonna fuck you…but I AM gonna kill you!!! (punches Mikey square in the jaw)
Mikey: Ow! (falls over; but before he can even shed a tear, Gerard’s pulled Bob to the ground)
Gerard: NO ONE…and I mean NO ONE….fucks with my little brother! (Begins slapping and pounding on Bob)
Bob: Erg! Way, you…Argh! (rolls on top of Gerard, punching his nose)
Frank: (excited) Mommy, is THAT sex?
Gerard: Ack! Ow! I think you broke my nose, Bryar!
Ref: (whistles, pulling Bob off) Alright, that’s enough! Bryar, Way! You are BOTH out of this game!
Announcer: Captain Robert Bryar from Chicago and striker Gerard Way from Belleville have been sent out of the game for rough play.
Mikey: (walking behind Gerard) Thanks, Gee…(hugs him lightly)
Gerard: (holding his bleeding nose) Don’t mention it Mikey, you’re MY brother…(glares at Bob)
Mikey: Do you think we’ll ever see him again?
Gerard: Oh man…I HOPE not….
<camera clicks off as Donna goes to scold Gerard>
<*the end*>