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Episode 30: The Shopping Incident
<Gerard is 12, and Mikey is 9>
(Donna has taken the boys clothes shopping at the local mall)
Donna: How about this Gerard? (holds up a jersey-like top)
Gerard: (tucking a strand of hair behind his ear) Nah…people will think I do sports.
Mikey: But Gee….we did-
Gerard: I’d rather not think of those activities Mikey. (walking over to the jeans)
Donna: Gee, honey. Make sure to get something that’s comfortable in the erm-bottom. (Gerard looks at her strangely)
Gerard: Meaning?
Donna: Well… you, unlike other little boys…uh, have a bottom. (Mikey giggles. Gerard looks at his mom)
Gerard: Mom, are you calling me fat? (hurt tone)
Donna: Gerard…I…everyone has something that they deal with and struggle with about themselves…weight is just and issue for you-
Mikey: Mommy, do I have a butt? (turns around)
Gerard: No…you don’t Mikey…(scowling) YOU’RE the perfect, smart, skinny son…(undertone)
Donna: (not hearing him, walks over to the ties) Boys, you need a tie for when we visit grandma.
Gerard: Mom, grandma LIVES with us. (raising his eyebrows at the ties)
Donna: Your grandma WAY. (Mikey jumps up and down)
Mikey: Oh! Her cookies are yummy! I want the red one mommy!
Donna: Okay. (putting the red clip-on tie in the basket) How about you Gee?
Mikey: Don’t worry Gee, I think one size fits all. (Gerard glares at him)
Gerard: I’ll take the black one… (walking away)
Donna: Of course you will…Mikey, do you need new underwear?
Mikey: No, but Gerard does…
Donna: HOW do you know that Mikey? (frowning)
Mikey: I…just…know…(eyes darting back and forth)
Donna: Gerard, do you want to pick out your new undies?
Gerard: Scream it a little louder mom! I don’t think the Canadians heard you! (embarrassed)
Donna: Yours are getting a little tight baby…
Mikey: (snorts) A little!? (pulls up Gerard’s shirt, the elastic is pushing into his skin) Mom, please…
Gerard: Fuck off four eyes… (letting his bangs fall across his face)
Donna: You’re just getting to be such a big boy Gerard…
Mikey: I’ll say… (looking Gerard up and down) Mom?
Donna: Yeah Mikes? (looking at the size chart on the back of the underwear package)
Mikey: Why is it that Gerard is growing THIS way (spreads his arms out widely) and not THIS way? (moves arms vertically)
Donna: MICHAEL! (glaring at him)
Gerard: I am too growing up… (walks away)
Donna: Mikey, PLEASE make and effort to be nice to your older brother.
Mikey: But mom, this is the ONLY thing I have to bother him about! And besides, he bothers me about being skinny…
Donna: It’s not the same Mikes- (loud screaming from the change rooms)
Linda: FRANKLIN ANTHONY IERO! You are NOT wearing that!
Frank: You’re right mom, I’m not! (click of the lock, Frank goes streaking through the store, completely naked)
Gerard: Oh. My. God. (blinking madly) I’m just gonna…go…geesh…(walks out of the store, to a pool display in the foyer of the mall. He dunks his head in)
Donna: GERARD! Do NOT attempt suicide in the kiddie pool! (runs over)
Frank: Mikey, you’re brother is a freak.
Mikey: I know…Frank?
Frank: Yeah Mikey?
Mikey: You’re naked.
Frank: I know…(smiling, looks over at Mikey and wiggles his eyebrows)
<*the end*>
(Donna has taken the boys clothes shopping at the local mall)
Donna: How about this Gerard? (holds up a jersey-like top)
Gerard: (tucking a strand of hair behind his ear) Nah…people will think I do sports.
Mikey: But Gee….we did-
Gerard: I’d rather not think of those activities Mikey. (walking over to the jeans)
Donna: Gee, honey. Make sure to get something that’s comfortable in the erm-bottom. (Gerard looks at her strangely)
Gerard: Meaning?
Donna: Well… you, unlike other little boys…uh, have a bottom. (Mikey giggles. Gerard looks at his mom)
Gerard: Mom, are you calling me fat? (hurt tone)
Donna: Gerard…I…everyone has something that they deal with and struggle with about themselves…weight is just and issue for you-
Mikey: Mommy, do I have a butt? (turns around)
Gerard: No…you don’t Mikey…(scowling) YOU’RE the perfect, smart, skinny son…(undertone)
Donna: (not hearing him, walks over to the ties) Boys, you need a tie for when we visit grandma.
Gerard: Mom, grandma LIVES with us. (raising his eyebrows at the ties)
Donna: Your grandma WAY. (Mikey jumps up and down)
Mikey: Oh! Her cookies are yummy! I want the red one mommy!
Donna: Okay. (putting the red clip-on tie in the basket) How about you Gee?
Mikey: Don’t worry Gee, I think one size fits all. (Gerard glares at him)
Gerard: I’ll take the black one… (walking away)
Donna: Of course you will…Mikey, do you need new underwear?
Mikey: No, but Gerard does…
Donna: HOW do you know that Mikey? (frowning)
Mikey: I…just…know…(eyes darting back and forth)
Donna: Gerard, do you want to pick out your new undies?
Gerard: Scream it a little louder mom! I don’t think the Canadians heard you! (embarrassed)
Donna: Yours are getting a little tight baby…
Mikey: (snorts) A little!? (pulls up Gerard’s shirt, the elastic is pushing into his skin) Mom, please…
Gerard: Fuck off four eyes… (letting his bangs fall across his face)
Donna: You’re just getting to be such a big boy Gerard…
Mikey: I’ll say… (looking Gerard up and down) Mom?
Donna: Yeah Mikes? (looking at the size chart on the back of the underwear package)
Mikey: Why is it that Gerard is growing THIS way (spreads his arms out widely) and not THIS way? (moves arms vertically)
Donna: MICHAEL! (glaring at him)
Gerard: I am too growing up… (walks away)
Donna: Mikey, PLEASE make and effort to be nice to your older brother.
Mikey: But mom, this is the ONLY thing I have to bother him about! And besides, he bothers me about being skinny…
Donna: It’s not the same Mikes- (loud screaming from the change rooms)
Linda: FRANKLIN ANTHONY IERO! You are NOT wearing that!
Frank: You’re right mom, I’m not! (click of the lock, Frank goes streaking through the store, completely naked)
Gerard: Oh. My. God. (blinking madly) I’m just gonna…go…geesh…(walks out of the store, to a pool display in the foyer of the mall. He dunks his head in)
Donna: GERARD! Do NOT attempt suicide in the kiddie pool! (runs over)
Frank: Mikey, you’re brother is a freak.
Mikey: I know…Frank?
Frank: Yeah Mikey?
Mikey: You’re naked.
Frank: I know…(smiling, looks over at Mikey and wiggles his eyebrows)
<*the end*>