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Episode 34: The Bath Incident
<Gerard is 8, Mikey is 5, and Frank is 4>
(Donna is trying to get Mikey to take a bath, Gerard is standing in the corner of the bathroom, his arms folded)
Gerard: I am NOT taking a bath with HIM, mother! (pouting)
Mikey: I’M NOT GETTING IN DA WATER!!!!!!!! (screaming as Donna pulls off his Spiderman t-shirt)
Gerard: I use to put you in the water FIRST Mikey… (grinning)
Mikey: Why?! (Donna takes this opportunity to pull Mikey out of his jeans)
Gerard: I was afraid that I’d be sucked down the drain…so I wanted you to test it out first. (sits down on the closed toilet seat)
Mikey: Geward!!! (shocked; Donna takes off his glasses and sets them on the counter)
Gerard: You were two, I hardly knew you Mikes… (Donna picks up Mikey and plops him into the tub)
Mikey: Aack! (spluttering) Mommy!!!!!! You WANT me to die!!!!! (wailing)
Donna: Don’t be silly baby….Gerard get in the water NOW! (tugging on the hem of her son’s long-sleeved black top)
Gerard: Mom! No! I can…er….do it myself! (nervous tone)
Donna: Gerard, let’s just get this done and over with so you boys can go to bed a decent hour…(tries to pull his arm through the sleeve of his shirt)
Gerard: NO! (pulls away) Go away Donna! I’ll just do it on my OWN!
Donna: (angry) FINE! You make sure Mikey gets clean then! (storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her)
Mikey: Wow…you got rid of Mom. (awed tone)
Gerard: I know…look the other way dork…(Mikey turns as Gerard slips off his tight black pants) NO PEEKING MICHAEL JAMES!
Mikey: I wasn’t… (blushing)
Gerard: God…if it isn’t Iero…it’s my own baby brother… (slips into the warm, bubbly water)
Mikey: Gee, can you… (notices odd scratches on his brother’s wrist) Who gave you those?
Gerard: Wha?! (quickly slipping his hand under the water) Uh…uh….how can you see without your glasses anyways?!
Mikey: I’m not THAT blind you know…now answer my question. (concerned expression on his face)
Gerard: It was…the….the….the cat! (dunks his head under the water, Mikey ponders while Gerard gets his hair entirely wet)
Mikey: (once Gerard has popped up) We don’t HAVE a kitty…
Gerard: Frank’s cat…Dresden…she…came into the backyard last night… (busying himself with the shampoo)
Mikey: Okay… (not fully believing his brother)
Gerard: Here, you need some sham- (squirts an outrageous amount into Mikey’s hair) poo…
Mikey: (wiping the gloop from his thin hair) Thanks Gee…really…
(loud screaming from the hallway, Mikey and Gerard look at each other)
Gerard: Please god….no…. (putting his head in his hands)
Frank: (bursting into the room) HELLO BROTHERS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey: Frankie! Me and Gee…we’re in the…we’re…..FRANK! (awkwardly)
Frank: No need to explain Mikey…you guys is having a POOL PARTY! I wanna join! (jumps in the water, fully clothed)
Gerard: Ow! You’re a COMPLETE moron! (pushing Frank away)
Frank: Wait…you guys aren’t wearing bathing suits…(smirks) Time for SCUBA DIVING!!!!
Gerard: That’s it! I’m out of here! (stands up and grabs a towel, Frank stares at him, mesmerized) Take a FUCKING picture Franklin! (grabs his clothes and leaves)
Frank: (shaking his head) I guess it’s just you and me Mikey…. (wiggles his eyebrows)
Mikey: Uh…I guess so… (moving towards the back of the tub)
Frank: Da um…Da um Da um…(continues with “Jaws” theme)
Mikey: Frank….(warningly)
Frank: RAWR!!!!! (pounces on Mikey)
Mikey: No! Frank! This isn’t RIGHT! (splashing)
Frank: What is your heart saying Mikey? (moving his lips closer to Mikey’s)
Mikey: That I need to find new friends! Aahh! (slipping out of the tub and running down the hallway)
Frank: (looks over at the plastic yellow duck that Gerard has defaced with his black sharpie) I guess it’s just you and me pal…(sniffles as it floats around his soaked body)
<*the end*>
(Donna is trying to get Mikey to take a bath, Gerard is standing in the corner of the bathroom, his arms folded)
Gerard: I am NOT taking a bath with HIM, mother! (pouting)
Mikey: I’M NOT GETTING IN DA WATER!!!!!!!! (screaming as Donna pulls off his Spiderman t-shirt)
Gerard: I use to put you in the water FIRST Mikey… (grinning)
Mikey: Why?! (Donna takes this opportunity to pull Mikey out of his jeans)
Gerard: I was afraid that I’d be sucked down the drain…so I wanted you to test it out first. (sits down on the closed toilet seat)
Mikey: Geward!!! (shocked; Donna takes off his glasses and sets them on the counter)
Gerard: You were two, I hardly knew you Mikes… (Donna picks up Mikey and plops him into the tub)
Mikey: Aack! (spluttering) Mommy!!!!!! You WANT me to die!!!!! (wailing)
Donna: Don’t be silly baby….Gerard get in the water NOW! (tugging on the hem of her son’s long-sleeved black top)
Gerard: Mom! No! I can…er….do it myself! (nervous tone)
Donna: Gerard, let’s just get this done and over with so you boys can go to bed a decent hour…(tries to pull his arm through the sleeve of his shirt)
Gerard: NO! (pulls away) Go away Donna! I’ll just do it on my OWN!
Donna: (angry) FINE! You make sure Mikey gets clean then! (storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her)
Mikey: Wow…you got rid of Mom. (awed tone)
Gerard: I know…look the other way dork…(Mikey turns as Gerard slips off his tight black pants) NO PEEKING MICHAEL JAMES!
Mikey: I wasn’t… (blushing)
Gerard: God…if it isn’t Iero…it’s my own baby brother… (slips into the warm, bubbly water)
Mikey: Gee, can you… (notices odd scratches on his brother’s wrist) Who gave you those?
Gerard: Wha?! (quickly slipping his hand under the water) Uh…uh….how can you see without your glasses anyways?!
Mikey: I’m not THAT blind you know…now answer my question. (concerned expression on his face)
Gerard: It was…the….the….the cat! (dunks his head under the water, Mikey ponders while Gerard gets his hair entirely wet)
Mikey: (once Gerard has popped up) We don’t HAVE a kitty…
Gerard: Frank’s cat…Dresden…she…came into the backyard last night… (busying himself with the shampoo)
Mikey: Okay… (not fully believing his brother)
Gerard: Here, you need some sham- (squirts an outrageous amount into Mikey’s hair) poo…
Mikey: (wiping the gloop from his thin hair) Thanks Gee…really…
(loud screaming from the hallway, Mikey and Gerard look at each other)
Gerard: Please god….no…. (putting his head in his hands)
Frank: (bursting into the room) HELLO BROTHERS WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mikey: Frankie! Me and Gee…we’re in the…we’re…..FRANK! (awkwardly)
Frank: No need to explain Mikey…you guys is having a POOL PARTY! I wanna join! (jumps in the water, fully clothed)
Gerard: Ow! You’re a COMPLETE moron! (pushing Frank away)
Frank: Wait…you guys aren’t wearing bathing suits…(smirks) Time for SCUBA DIVING!!!!
Gerard: That’s it! I’m out of here! (stands up and grabs a towel, Frank stares at him, mesmerized) Take a FUCKING picture Franklin! (grabs his clothes and leaves)
Frank: (shaking his head) I guess it’s just you and me Mikey…. (wiggles his eyebrows)
Mikey: Uh…I guess so… (moving towards the back of the tub)
Frank: Da um…Da um Da um…(continues with “Jaws” theme)
Mikey: Frank….(warningly)
Frank: RAWR!!!!! (pounces on Mikey)
Mikey: No! Frank! This isn’t RIGHT! (splashing)
Frank: What is your heart saying Mikey? (moving his lips closer to Mikey’s)
Mikey: That I need to find new friends! Aahh! (slipping out of the tub and running down the hallway)
Frank: (looks over at the plastic yellow duck that Gerard has defaced with his black sharpie) I guess it’s just you and me pal…(sniffles as it floats around his soaked body)
<*the end*>