MCR Home Videos
Episode 36: The Parent/Teacher Interview Incident
<Gerard is 11, and Mikey is 8>
(Donna is sitting down across from the teacher’s desk. Gerard and Mikey are sitting in two lone desks, quietly awaiting their mother.)
Gee’s Teacher (GT): Mrs. Way…Gerard is a very bright student.
Donna: He is? (surprised; Gerard proudly smiles)
GT: Yes, he’s really shown his potential thus far in the year, particularly in the art and English components of the curriculum. His work is far beyond anything I would expect from a child of his age. (pulls out a flder)
Donna: Well, I’ll be god-damned…(pulls out an art project) Fuck…did my Gee do this? (eyes wide)
GT: (sighing) Yes…this was the part of this I was dreading…Gerard is a lovely boy, always pays attention…but I think he needs help.
Donna: Help like… (Gerard has slouched in his seat, frowning)
GT: He’s not a very social boy, Mrs. Way. All the students are…well, scared of him, to put it bluntly.
Gerard: That’s cuz they’re all fucking morons! (voice breaking)
Donna: Gerard! Please! (Gerard rubs his nose; Donna turns back to the teacher) You were saying?
GT: He seems to have a very dark and bleak outlook on life in general…There’s only one boy who even BOTHERS trying to talk to him.
Gerard: Dumb frizzy-headed git…(moping)
Donna: Raymond? Oh he’s a sweetheart…What do you propose we do?
GT: I’ve already contacted the school counselor, and she is very adamant about having a session with Gerard.
Gerard: NO! I’m not disturbed! I promise! (Mikey scoffs) Shut up Dweeb!
Mikey: (looking at the piece of art in his mother’s hand) Gee, you drew a bloody hand holding a bleeding and pulsing heart. Dude, you can’t get more disturbed than that…unless you put the Honey Bee next to it. (shuddering)
Gerard: Mommy!!! (runs up and tears the sheet in two) Paint it black and take it back. I love you!!! (puppy dog eyes)
Donna: I love you too baby…but I think it’s a good idea if you went to-
Gerard: Do or die, you’ll NEVER make me! Cuz the world will NEVER take my heart! I hate you! Give a cheer for all the broken! I’m not a hero, just a boy! I hate you! I don’t care! I hate my life!!!!
(dramatically collapses to the floor)
Donna: Well, thank you. (shakes teacher’s hand) We have to get going to Mikey’s room now…
Gerard: My life is a scorched chasm of lost dreams! (wailing)
Donna: (laughing weakly) We’ll just be leaving…(pulling Gerard out of the room) Mikey, NOW!
Mikey: Okay….bye teacher lady person! (waves)
<In the next room, same set-up>
Mikey’s Teacher (MT): Donna, Mikey is the sweetest little boy I’ve EVER taught. (Mikey beams) He’s hardworking, attentive, kind to all the students, he’s an ABSOLUTE pleasure.
Donna: That’s wonderful to hear…and scheduled trips to the shrink? (bitter sideways glance at Gerard)
MT: No…(looks over at Gerard, who is running a plastic ruler across his wrist) Donna, I remember Gerard being in my class three years ago…is he…okay?
Donna: He’s fine.
Gerard: I’M NOT OKAY!!!!!! (putting more pressure on the ruler)
Donna: He’s FINE. Let’s talk more about Mikey! (running her fingers through her hair)
MT: Well, there is one concern that I have with Mikey…
Donna: Of COURSE you have a concern with Mikey…he’s MY son….(on the verge of hysteric tears)
MT: It’s alright…it’s just a bullying problem….
Donna: JUST A BULLYING PROBLEM?! (Mikey yelps)
MT: He just needs to stand up for himself more.
Gerard: He needs to grow a backbone…ouch! (winced as he rubs the skin raw)
Donna: Stop that! (Gerard scowls, dropping the ruler)
MT: He just takes it…He really needs to learn not to let his older brother fight his wars for him… (Donna cracks her neck, looking around at Gerard, whose face falls)
Gerard: You heard nothing…(laughs feebly) Let’s go now, Mom.
Donna: Thanks…Mikey? (looks over at him)
Mikey: Mommy…I’m sorry I’m such a bad son! (starts to cry)
Gerard: Donna…NOW! Dad said he was talking me and Mikey into the city to see a marching band later today! We’ve gotta go!
Mikey: I don’t like parades…they make my ears bleed.
Gerard: Sometimes I get the feeling, you are a stupid baby!
Donna: Okay, we’ll carry on…come on boys…NOW! (They exit the school, and pile into the car.) Gerard, your misery and hate will kill us all…
Gerard: Well, I won’t go down by myself, Donna…but I’ll go down with my…friends…(winks at Mikey)
Mikey: Mommy….
<*the end*>
(Donna is sitting down across from the teacher’s desk. Gerard and Mikey are sitting in two lone desks, quietly awaiting their mother.)
Gee’s Teacher (GT): Mrs. Way…Gerard is a very bright student.
Donna: He is? (surprised; Gerard proudly smiles)
GT: Yes, he’s really shown his potential thus far in the year, particularly in the art and English components of the curriculum. His work is far beyond anything I would expect from a child of his age. (pulls out a flder)
Donna: Well, I’ll be god-damned…(pulls out an art project) Fuck…did my Gee do this? (eyes wide)
GT: (sighing) Yes…this was the part of this I was dreading…Gerard is a lovely boy, always pays attention…but I think he needs help.
Donna: Help like… (Gerard has slouched in his seat, frowning)
GT: He’s not a very social boy, Mrs. Way. All the students are…well, scared of him, to put it bluntly.
Gerard: That’s cuz they’re all fucking morons! (voice breaking)
Donna: Gerard! Please! (Gerard rubs his nose; Donna turns back to the teacher) You were saying?
GT: He seems to have a very dark and bleak outlook on life in general…There’s only one boy who even BOTHERS trying to talk to him.
Gerard: Dumb frizzy-headed git…(moping)
Donna: Raymond? Oh he’s a sweetheart…What do you propose we do?
GT: I’ve already contacted the school counselor, and she is very adamant about having a session with Gerard.
Gerard: NO! I’m not disturbed! I promise! (Mikey scoffs) Shut up Dweeb!
Mikey: (looking at the piece of art in his mother’s hand) Gee, you drew a bloody hand holding a bleeding and pulsing heart. Dude, you can’t get more disturbed than that…unless you put the Honey Bee next to it. (shuddering)
Gerard: Mommy!!! (runs up and tears the sheet in two) Paint it black and take it back. I love you!!! (puppy dog eyes)
Donna: I love you too baby…but I think it’s a good idea if you went to-
Gerard: Do or die, you’ll NEVER make me! Cuz the world will NEVER take my heart! I hate you! Give a cheer for all the broken! I’m not a hero, just a boy! I hate you! I don’t care! I hate my life!!!!
(dramatically collapses to the floor)
Donna: Well, thank you. (shakes teacher’s hand) We have to get going to Mikey’s room now…
Gerard: My life is a scorched chasm of lost dreams! (wailing)
Donna: (laughing weakly) We’ll just be leaving…(pulling Gerard out of the room) Mikey, NOW!
Mikey: Okay….bye teacher lady person! (waves)
<In the next room, same set-up>
Mikey’s Teacher (MT): Donna, Mikey is the sweetest little boy I’ve EVER taught. (Mikey beams) He’s hardworking, attentive, kind to all the students, he’s an ABSOLUTE pleasure.
Donna: That’s wonderful to hear…and scheduled trips to the shrink? (bitter sideways glance at Gerard)
MT: No…(looks over at Gerard, who is running a plastic ruler across his wrist) Donna, I remember Gerard being in my class three years ago…is he…okay?
Donna: He’s fine.
Gerard: I’M NOT OKAY!!!!!! (putting more pressure on the ruler)
Donna: He’s FINE. Let’s talk more about Mikey! (running her fingers through her hair)
MT: Well, there is one concern that I have with Mikey…
Donna: Of COURSE you have a concern with Mikey…he’s MY son….(on the verge of hysteric tears)
MT: It’s alright…it’s just a bullying problem….
Donna: JUST A BULLYING PROBLEM?! (Mikey yelps)
MT: He just needs to stand up for himself more.
Gerard: He needs to grow a backbone…ouch! (winced as he rubs the skin raw)
Donna: Stop that! (Gerard scowls, dropping the ruler)
MT: He just takes it…He really needs to learn not to let his older brother fight his wars for him… (Donna cracks her neck, looking around at Gerard, whose face falls)
Gerard: You heard nothing…(laughs feebly) Let’s go now, Mom.
Donna: Thanks…Mikey? (looks over at him)
Mikey: Mommy…I’m sorry I’m such a bad son! (starts to cry)
Gerard: Donna…NOW! Dad said he was talking me and Mikey into the city to see a marching band later today! We’ve gotta go!
Mikey: I don’t like parades…they make my ears bleed.
Gerard: Sometimes I get the feeling, you are a stupid baby!
Donna: Okay, we’ll carry on…come on boys…NOW! (They exit the school, and pile into the car.) Gerard, your misery and hate will kill us all…
Gerard: Well, I won’t go down by myself, Donna…but I’ll go down with my…friends…(winks at Mikey)
Mikey: Mommy….
<*the end*>