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Episode #38: The Painting Incident
<Mikey is 10, Gerard is 13 and Frank is 9>
(Mikey is laying on his stomach in the living room of his house; paints and brushes surrounding him)
Mikey: (singing) Its a small world after all...There is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone...(looks up as the front door slams shut)
Gerard: If anyone wants me, I'll be hanging from the ceiling fan in the kitchen.(tossses his packback to the floor)
Mikey: Tough session with the therapist, Gee? (lolling tongue out of his mouth as he dips the brush in the dirty water cup)
Gerard: If I didnt want to slit my wrists before I went in there - I do now. (running his fingers through his hair)
Mikey: oh...(turns back to his art; Gerard looks over)
Gerard: Are those my acrillic paints? (eyes narrowed)
Mikey: Umm...(eyes darting from side to side) If I say no, will I escape this without wounds?
Gerard: Mikey, Im not going to-(whimpers)
Mikey: What? (nervous)
Gerard: (taking the paint brush from Mikey, eyes widening) This is...or was...my number 6 water color brush...
Mikey: (surprised) Really? I just called it Mr. Burgundy Brushy, do you know the horrific tales of his past Gee?
Gerard: Horrific tales...it was my thirty dollar paintbrush! (pulls out stray bristle) You killed it!
Mikey: No...I didnt mean...BRUSHY! (voice cracking)
Gerard: (massaging his temples) Doctor said to control my rage, think happy thoughts...vampires, bats, bloody corpses...find my happy spot...
Mikey: Okay...(scooting further away from Gerard)
Gerard: Mikey, how many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my art kit? (forced calm voice)
Mikey: Im sorry Gee...I just wanna be an artist like you...(pouting)
Gerard: Oh god, why does he have to be so cute? (looking up at the ceiling) Okay Mikes, I- (looks down at the project)
Mikey: (smiling) You what, Gee?
Gerard: (closing his eyes) Please, PLEASE dont tell me thats one of my expensive canvases...PLEASE.
Mikey: (pursing his lips) Then I wont tell you.
Gerard: Mikey...(cracks neck, biting his lip) sprawled on these cathredral steps...spitting out blood and screaming...relaxing thoughts...
Mikey: You should really watch your blood pressure. This behavoir will come back to haunt you in later years.
Gerard: You'll be lucky to HAVE later years...(grumbling)
Mikey: Well I couldnt find ant blank paper, and my project is due tomorrow...(getting frustrated)
Gerard: Well, what is the project at least? (sitting back on the couch)
Mikey: It was a social studies project. We got to choose any topic. I picked...(takes canvas in hand and shows it to Gerard) World Peace.
Gerard: (eyes twitching) You...chose...what?!
Mikey: Uh oh...(gasping as Gerard snatches the paining)
<next day at school>
Frank: and BECAUSE of the low employment rate in Canada, the snow falls faster, making it cold. And BECAUSE its cold, they get depressed. And BECAUSE they're depressed, they drink beer. This all comes together to form the men riding horses in funny hats. And THAT is why the beaver is Canada's national bird. Thank-you (class is silent)
Teacher: Okay...Frankie, do you remember ANYTHING you just said?
Frank: (blank expression) Um...did I say something about...(eyes dart to Mikey's t-shirt) Billie Jow Armstrong? He could be from Canada.
Teacher: He's from California, honey (exasperated)
Frank: Oh. I bet he's BEEN to Canada though...
Teacher: Thats not the-
Frank: Okay! Mikey's turn now! (Mikey sighs, glaring at Frank)
Teacher: Okay Michael, go ahead (yawning)
Mikey: My project was on World Peace...and I made this paper but...(holds up ripped canvas)
Frank: *gasp* What happened to it? Did Max rip it up with his claws?
Mikey: No...
Frank: Did you trip and fall over a migrating beaver?!
Mikey: No, Frank. (biting his lip)
Frank: Then what the hell happened to it?
Mikey: Gerard took out his switchblade and slashed it after he found out it was about World Peace (sighing)
Teacher: Gerard...Way...(begins sobbing) That boy is responsible for the two years I spent at the institution...No, not Gerard Way...AaaH! (screaming and running out of the room)
Frank: Wow, how can I EVER live up to Gee's reputation here? He's LEGEND!
Mikey: Yeah...so where'd you pick up the beaver thing?
Frank: Mikey, we must too move on like the hedgehog. (very serious)
Mikey: What? Frank, do you even hear what you're saying?
Frank: No. Wanna go beaver hunting? (Mikey shakes his head)
<the end>
(Mikey is laying on his stomach in the living room of his house; paints and brushes surrounding him)
Mikey: (singing) Its a small world after all...There is just one moon and one golden sun, and a smile means friendship to everyone...(looks up as the front door slams shut)
Gerard: If anyone wants me, I'll be hanging from the ceiling fan in the kitchen.(tossses his packback to the floor)
Mikey: Tough session with the therapist, Gee? (lolling tongue out of his mouth as he dips the brush in the dirty water cup)
Gerard: If I didnt want to slit my wrists before I went in there - I do now. (running his fingers through his hair)
Mikey: oh...(turns back to his art; Gerard looks over)
Gerard: Are those my acrillic paints? (eyes narrowed)
Mikey: Umm...(eyes darting from side to side) If I say no, will I escape this without wounds?
Gerard: Mikey, Im not going to-(whimpers)
Mikey: What? (nervous)
Gerard: (taking the paint brush from Mikey, eyes widening) This is...or was...my number 6 water color brush...
Mikey: (surprised) Really? I just called it Mr. Burgundy Brushy, do you know the horrific tales of his past Gee?
Gerard: Horrific tales...it was my thirty dollar paintbrush! (pulls out stray bristle) You killed it!
Mikey: No...I didnt mean...BRUSHY! (voice cracking)
Gerard: (massaging his temples) Doctor said to control my rage, think happy thoughts...vampires, bats, bloody corpses...find my happy spot...
Mikey: Okay...(scooting further away from Gerard)
Gerard: Mikey, how many times do I have to tell you to stay out of my art kit? (forced calm voice)
Mikey: Im sorry Gee...I just wanna be an artist like you...(pouting)
Gerard: Oh god, why does he have to be so cute? (looking up at the ceiling) Okay Mikes, I- (looks down at the project)
Mikey: (smiling) You what, Gee?
Gerard: (closing his eyes) Please, PLEASE dont tell me thats one of my expensive canvases...PLEASE.
Mikey: (pursing his lips) Then I wont tell you.
Gerard: Mikey...(cracks neck, biting his lip) sprawled on these cathredral steps...spitting out blood and screaming...relaxing thoughts...
Mikey: You should really watch your blood pressure. This behavoir will come back to haunt you in later years.
Gerard: You'll be lucky to HAVE later years...(grumbling)
Mikey: Well I couldnt find ant blank paper, and my project is due tomorrow...(getting frustrated)
Gerard: Well, what is the project at least? (sitting back on the couch)
Mikey: It was a social studies project. We got to choose any topic. I picked...(takes canvas in hand and shows it to Gerard) World Peace.
Gerard: (eyes twitching) You...chose...what?!
Mikey: Uh oh...(gasping as Gerard snatches the paining)
<next day at school>
Frank: and BECAUSE of the low employment rate in Canada, the snow falls faster, making it cold. And BECAUSE its cold, they get depressed. And BECAUSE they're depressed, they drink beer. This all comes together to form the men riding horses in funny hats. And THAT is why the beaver is Canada's national bird. Thank-you (class is silent)
Teacher: Okay...Frankie, do you remember ANYTHING you just said?
Frank: (blank expression) Um...did I say something about...(eyes dart to Mikey's t-shirt) Billie Jow Armstrong? He could be from Canada.
Teacher: He's from California, honey (exasperated)
Frank: Oh. I bet he's BEEN to Canada though...
Teacher: Thats not the-
Frank: Okay! Mikey's turn now! (Mikey sighs, glaring at Frank)
Teacher: Okay Michael, go ahead (yawning)
Mikey: My project was on World Peace...and I made this paper but...(holds up ripped canvas)
Frank: *gasp* What happened to it? Did Max rip it up with his claws?
Mikey: No...
Frank: Did you trip and fall over a migrating beaver?!
Mikey: No, Frank. (biting his lip)
Frank: Then what the hell happened to it?
Mikey: Gerard took out his switchblade and slashed it after he found out it was about World Peace (sighing)
Teacher: Gerard...Way...(begins sobbing) That boy is responsible for the two years I spent at the institution...No, not Gerard Way...AaaH! (screaming and running out of the room)
Frank: Wow, how can I EVER live up to Gee's reputation here? He's LEGEND!
Mikey: Yeah...so where'd you pick up the beaver thing?
Frank: Mikey, we must too move on like the hedgehog. (very serious)
Mikey: What? Frank, do you even hear what you're saying?
Frank: No. Wanna go beaver hunting? (Mikey shakes his head)
<the end>