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Episode 7: The Easter Incident
<Gerard is 12, Mikey is 9>
(Donna filming; Mikey is putting up Easter decorations, Gerard is sitting on the couch reading a comic book)
Mikey: Mom, do we have carrots to leave out for the Easter Bunny? <standing on chair, reaching to stick an ornament to the window>
Gerard: <placidly, eyes still traveling across the page> You don’t need carrots.
Mikey: <off-handedly, concentrating on sticking the decoration> Why not?
Gerard: <still calm> Because imaginary bunnies can’t eat.
Mikey: <not having fully-understood Gerard> Huh? <standing on edge of chair>
Gerard: <sighing, flipping the page> The “Easter Bunny” is not real.
Mikey: <falls off chair> WHAT!?
Gerard: Yah, Mom and Dad wait until we’re both asleep, and-
Donna: Gerard! The bunny comes after your father and I are asleep, no one’s ever seen him. <sets camera down on counter, helps Mikey up>
Gerard: <exasperatedly> Well, duh. No one can see something that’s not real. I mean, it’s the same deal with Santa-
Mikey: <on the verge of tears> Santa’s not real either!?
Donna: Of course he is, and so is the Easter Bunny. They get together and play golf every Sunday. <Mikey laughs, brightening up. Gerard rolls his eyes>
Gerard: And I suppose the Tooth Fairy joins them…come on Mikey, face the facts. The “Easter Bunny” is not-
Donna: Okay! Gerard come with me…NOW! <Gerard reluctantly sets his comic down and follows his mother through the kitchen. The camera is still on, facing Mikey.>
Mikey: <singing disheartened> Here comes Peter Cottontail…*sniffle*…hopping down the bunny trail…*sniff*…Hippity…Hoppity…*sniff*…Easter’s on its…*sniff*…way…
Donna: <re-entering the room> Aw, Mikey…your brother’s just being silly. <gives her son a hug> Here, let’s finish putting up these things…<lifts Mikey up so he can reach the window>
Mikey: <smiling, hugging his mom tightly> Thanks, Mommy…<doorbell rings>
Donna: <mock-surprised> Who could that be? Why don’t you run and get it sweetheart? <Mikey runs to the front door, Donna filming behind him. Mikey cracks open the door.>
Mikey: EASTER BUNNY!!!! <reaches out and hugs the ‘bunny’ around the middle>
“Easter Bunny”: Oh, yes…that’s me…Erm, call me Lucifer…<Mikey looks at him funny, but shrugs and continues jumping up and down with joy>
Mikey: I can’t wait to tell Frankie about this! And Gee too! <looks around> Mom, where is Gerard?
Donna: He went to Ray’s house. < ‘bunny’ looks angrily at the camera>
“Easter Bunny”: Ya…here’s some chocolate…I have so many houses to visit…<hands Mikey a handful of eggs>
Mikey: Bye Lucifer! < ‘bunny’ hops non-energetically out the door> I’ve gotta call Frank! <runs to the phone in the kitchen>
<door swings open, Gerard storms in, pulling a tail off his a.ss>
Gerard: <angrily> Donna, if you EVER make me do that again, I will seriously kill myself! <stomps up the stairs and slams the door>
Mikey: <from other room> Yah! He said his name was Lucifer! What? Uh huh! Yup, Frankie, why would I lie to you?
<*Donna sighs, the camera clicks off*>
(Donna filming; Mikey is putting up Easter decorations, Gerard is sitting on the couch reading a comic book)
Mikey: Mom, do we have carrots to leave out for the Easter Bunny? <standing on chair, reaching to stick an ornament to the window>
Gerard: <placidly, eyes still traveling across the page> You don’t need carrots.
Mikey: <off-handedly, concentrating on sticking the decoration> Why not?
Gerard: <still calm> Because imaginary bunnies can’t eat.
Mikey: <not having fully-understood Gerard> Huh? <standing on edge of chair>
Gerard: <sighing, flipping the page> The “Easter Bunny” is not real.
Mikey: <falls off chair> WHAT!?
Gerard: Yah, Mom and Dad wait until we’re both asleep, and-
Donna: Gerard! The bunny comes after your father and I are asleep, no one’s ever seen him. <sets camera down on counter, helps Mikey up>
Gerard: <exasperatedly> Well, duh. No one can see something that’s not real. I mean, it’s the same deal with Santa-
Mikey: <on the verge of tears> Santa’s not real either!?
Donna: Of course he is, and so is the Easter Bunny. They get together and play golf every Sunday. <Mikey laughs, brightening up. Gerard rolls his eyes>
Gerard: And I suppose the Tooth Fairy joins them…come on Mikey, face the facts. The “Easter Bunny” is not-
Donna: Okay! Gerard come with me…NOW! <Gerard reluctantly sets his comic down and follows his mother through the kitchen. The camera is still on, facing Mikey.>
Mikey: <singing disheartened> Here comes Peter Cottontail…*sniffle*…hopping down the bunny trail…*sniff*…Hippity…Hoppity…*sniff*…Easter’s on its…*sniff*…way…
Donna: <re-entering the room> Aw, Mikey…your brother’s just being silly. <gives her son a hug> Here, let’s finish putting up these things…<lifts Mikey up so he can reach the window>
Mikey: <smiling, hugging his mom tightly> Thanks, Mommy…<doorbell rings>
Donna: <mock-surprised> Who could that be? Why don’t you run and get it sweetheart? <Mikey runs to the front door, Donna filming behind him. Mikey cracks open the door.>
Mikey: EASTER BUNNY!!!! <reaches out and hugs the ‘bunny’ around the middle>
“Easter Bunny”: Oh, yes…that’s me…Erm, call me Lucifer…<Mikey looks at him funny, but shrugs and continues jumping up and down with joy>
Mikey: I can’t wait to tell Frankie about this! And Gee too! <looks around> Mom, where is Gerard?
Donna: He went to Ray’s house. < ‘bunny’ looks angrily at the camera>
“Easter Bunny”: Ya…here’s some chocolate…I have so many houses to visit…<hands Mikey a handful of eggs>
Mikey: Bye Lucifer! < ‘bunny’ hops non-energetically out the door> I’ve gotta call Frank! <runs to the phone in the kitchen>
<door swings open, Gerard storms in, pulling a tail off his a.ss>
Gerard: <angrily> Donna, if you EVER make me do that again, I will seriously kill myself! <stomps up the stairs and slams the door>
Mikey: <from other room> Yah! He said his name was Lucifer! What? Uh huh! Yup, Frankie, why would I lie to you?
<*Donna sighs, the camera clicks off*>