Fingerprints
Fingerprints
Dear Niall,
By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I will be on a plane halfway across Europe, to somewhere you will never ever find me.
I bet you're laughing right now. I bet you're thinking, "That little cow couldn't survive five minutes without me." I bet you think I’ll be home in time to make you your tea. I bet, even as you rifle through my wardrobe and realise all my clothes are gone, that everything in the flat we shared that belonged to me is gone, that I’ll be back.
I'm proving you and everyone else wrong with what I'm doing. Like rats deserting a sinking ship, I'm leaving you. No longer will I suffer your hurtful taunts of abuse. No longer will I think that I'm not good enough for you, when in actual fact, it's the other way round. No longer will I act as your glorified slave.
I loved you once, Niall Hartington. I loved you with a fire so fierce it burnt my house down. Now I'm picking up the pieces, repairing what is left of my fragile heart. You hurt me in so many ways, ways I haven’t got time to list here. You’ll be home from work soon, and I need to get going. This is my last chance to make something of my pathetic excuse for a life.
Maybe you loved me too. Maybe you still do. But by God, if that's true, you have a funny way of showing it. Not once in the three years we have been together have you told me that you love me. Not once have you ever shown me the slightest bit of kindness. Not once have you complimented me, or said anything to me that wasn’t an insult.
I don’t know how I held on so long. Maybe I was just blinded by love and trust and hope that one day, things between us would get better, and you would love me like you were supposed to. But I’m tired of waiting for something that is never going to happen.
This is goodbye. I will never see you again, nor do I want to. I only hope that you remember me. That you realise I'm not the insignificant speck of dust you always said I was.
If nothing else, I hope I leave my fingerprints in the end.
Yours sincerely,
Alice
By the time you read this, I will be long gone. I will be on a plane halfway across Europe, to somewhere you will never ever find me.
I bet you're laughing right now. I bet you're thinking, "That little cow couldn't survive five minutes without me." I bet you think I’ll be home in time to make you your tea. I bet, even as you rifle through my wardrobe and realise all my clothes are gone, that everything in the flat we shared that belonged to me is gone, that I’ll be back.
I'm proving you and everyone else wrong with what I'm doing. Like rats deserting a sinking ship, I'm leaving you. No longer will I suffer your hurtful taunts of abuse. No longer will I think that I'm not good enough for you, when in actual fact, it's the other way round. No longer will I act as your glorified slave.
I loved you once, Niall Hartington. I loved you with a fire so fierce it burnt my house down. Now I'm picking up the pieces, repairing what is left of my fragile heart. You hurt me in so many ways, ways I haven’t got time to list here. You’ll be home from work soon, and I need to get going. This is my last chance to make something of my pathetic excuse for a life.
Maybe you loved me too. Maybe you still do. But by God, if that's true, you have a funny way of showing it. Not once in the three years we have been together have you told me that you love me. Not once have you ever shown me the slightest bit of kindness. Not once have you complimented me, or said anything to me that wasn’t an insult.
I don’t know how I held on so long. Maybe I was just blinded by love and trust and hope that one day, things between us would get better, and you would love me like you were supposed to. But I’m tired of waiting for something that is never going to happen.
This is goodbye. I will never see you again, nor do I want to. I only hope that you remember me. That you realise I'm not the insignificant speck of dust you always said I was.
If nothing else, I hope I leave my fingerprints in the end.
Yours sincerely,
Alice