Words, Words, Words

I lay on my bed, letting my mind drift where ever it may please. Tom's outside, retrieving a CD with bad techno music. His calming voice and thoughtful words aren't here to help me ignore all the negative things that Oliver plants into my head.

I'm not one to care what people think. I dress the way I want, I listen to the things I want and I say whatever I want. Usually, I'm unstoppable. But when Oliver enters the room, I turn into the person I least want to be.

It's as if he controls me. Every smug smirk makes me fidget uncomfortably. Every swish of his hair makes me bite my lip. Every sneer that shines upon his pierced, soft lips makes me frown. And something inside me tells me he knows - he knows that with a snap of his fingers, I'll become a puddle at his feet; a complete mess.

If I'm up for the fight, I might say a witty comment to his nasty ones. But somehow, my words are never as hurtful as his. Not to mention, my armor is weaker. I try to make myself seem like I'm strong, but around Oliver, I'm not.

He is the only person I try to change myself around. His words, his body language, his thoughts about me matter. And I would do anything to change that - absolutely anything. But Oliver Scott Sykes remains as my living nightmare.

The squeak of my door brings me out of my trance and my eyes dart to the body hunching over my laptop. Tom puts his CD in, imports it into my library then plays the first song and looks at me with a perky smile.

"I hate techno," I grumble, putting a hand on my stomach. Tom's smile doesn't fade, but he just rolls his eyes as he taps his feet to the music. We sit in silence as the bad music fills my room.

"Yeh jus' don' wanna give it a chance," Tom says. Softly, he mutters something else under his breath as he switches the song to something I already had on my library. My brow furrows as I stare at him through the dim light.

"Excuse me?" I ask, propping my body up on one elbow. Tom glances at me over his shoulder as he looks for a different song. "What'd you say, Thomas?"

"I said yeh don' wanna give techno a try," He says, pausing. Then with a sigh, resuming onwards and saying, "Like yeh don' wanna give Olleh a try."

"Give Oliver a try at what?" I ask, pressing my lips together. Just his name brings a sick feeling to my stomach. My head throbs but I ignore the pain and listen for Tom's response. He shrugs a little as he stares at the computer screen.

"A try at bein' yeh friend. He's honestly a nice person," Tom mutters, defending his brother. I can tell he's not making eye contact with me because he knows I hate talking about Oliver. He's brought this up before and every time, I always get angry with him. Why he keeps bringing it up anyways is beyond me.

"Tom, how on Earth can you say your brother is a nice person when every time I see him, he makes a comment about my weight?" I ask, irritation biting at my words. Tom sighs deeply, his shoulders rising and falling as he does. He turns to look at me, his bright blue eyes boring into me.

"Amelia, have yeh weighed yehself lately? Have yeh even looked in a mirror recently?" Tom asks. I shoot him a look but he goes on, ignoring me. "Yeh thinner than a stick, love. All his comments are jus' bullshi'. He says them when he can' think of anythin' else teh say."

I roll my eyes, not believing a word coming out of his pretty mouth. I turn onto my other side, letting Tom stare at the back of my white tank top. I can hear him snicker a bit in frustration. I look down at my stomach and pinch the rolls of fat with a disgusted sneer on my face.

Tom stays for a while - maybe twenty minutes - before getting up. He walks over to the bed and kisses my shoulder, brushing some hair out of my face. Whispering, he says, "I love yeh, Amelia. Please don' do this to yehself."

My knees curl up to my chest in a cry for help. I don't say a thing, in hopes that somehow it'll confirm his suspicions about me. I want help.

"I'll call yeh tomorrow," He says. I feel his body lift off the mattress and he walks out of my room. I can hear him say goodbye to my mother and walk out the door. I don't cry until I hear his car drive off the street.

I want to stop but I know Tom can't help. Only one person can help me and he doesn't have the heart to do so.