Words, Words, Words

The sun shine hits my closed eyelids, waking me up with a groan. I shift in my bed and open my eyes, feeling the crusted mascara that I forgot to wash off the night before. With a sigh, I let myself think about yesterday and Tom's pleading words.

I bite my lip and glance at the clock, noticing that it's half past ten. Tom wouldn't be awake by now so I know he hasn't called just yet. I get out of bed and stretch, walking towards the bathroom. After quickly washing my face and brushing my teeth, I walk downstairs to see my mother on the couch watching a movie on HBO.

"Hi," I grumble as I plop down next to her. She waits for the depressing scene to end before looking at me and muttering a hello, too. We sit in silence until a commercial comes on and she turns her full attention towards me.

"Want some breakfast?" She asks. I shake my head and she sighs, glancing down at my stomach. I stare at the TV screen, ignoring her accusing eyes. "Are you sure? I can make some eggs and waffles for you. Or maybe a bagel."

"I'm fine, Mom. Really," I say, though the hunger inside is tearing me apart. I haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch with Tom, which I let "pass" through me an hour after eating it. My stomach's on empty and I wonder how long I can take it.

"Alright, but just tell me if you want anything to eat. I'm willing to make you something," She says. I nod my head a little as I watch a commercial. I can still feel my mother's eyes on me. I turn to her as she asks, "Any plans?"

"I'm probably doing something with Tom later," I shrug. She nods just as the movie comes back on. I close my eyes, thankful that my mother isn't much of a multitasker and then get up. "I'm going to get ready for the day."

"Okay, honey," My mother calls after me as I make my way up the stairs that are aligned with pictures from the past and a few recent photographs. I always look at them as I pass them by and this time is no different.

They start from when I was a baby and move on to the last picture; a picture that Tom took of me a few months ago. Looking at them, I notice three things. The younger I was, the bigger the smile I had on my face. Every picture taken in Sheffield looks gloomy underneath it all as I get skinnier and skinnier. And my father isn't in any of the last photographs.

I was so much happier in California. I was younger, care-free and I never minded what people said about me. Not to mention, my father was actually around back then. Now, after moving for the sake of my father's job and growing older, it's like my whole world flipped upside down.

My father is known around Sheffield as a big-shot business man. He's always at work, tied up with meetings and papers that are due. He rakes in a lot of money but I can't care less. My father has become some sort of a stranger and no amount of money can fill his place.

As I walk into my room, I push these thoughts to the back of my head. I grab my shower robe and keep my mind set on washing away the thoughts of what my life's become under the gray clouds of England.

__________________________

I'm in the middle of picking out what to wear when my phone starts buzzing on my bed. I walk out of my closet and pick it up, pressing it to my ear without looking at caller ID and say, "Hello?"

"Good mornin' sunshine, the Earth says 'ello!" Tom's voice breaks through on the other side. A smile spreads out on my face as I giggle and walk back into my closet, determined to find something nice to wear today.

"Tom, it's almost one. Morning came and went, sleepy-head," I say, as I look through some blouses. None of them seem appealing and I bite my lip, annoyed.

"How do yeh know I was sleepin'? I could 'ave been cleanin' my room or takin' a stroll through the neighborhood," Tom says. I laugh and start looking through dresses desperately.

"Yeah, right," I scoff as I pick out a white dress with sunflowers on it. I press it against my body and look at myself in the mirror. The dress comes up to my mid-thigh. I put it back, not wanting to show all of Europe my thunder thighs.

"Alright, yeh caught me," He chuckles, giving in. I can hear him shuffle about on the other end before he asks, "So I was thinkin' yeh could hang out with yeh best friend today."

"Lydia's back from Italy?" I ask jokingly as I look through my skirts. All of them are so short and I wonder how on Earth I could ever wear these. Even with tights, they seem too revealing.

"Oh, yeh so funny, Lia," Tom snickers. I laugh a bit as my hands search through my jeans. Quickly, I stop myself, questioning if I really want a muffin top today. I shake my head to myself and put my free hand on my hip, frustrated. "No, I was talkin' abou' me. I wanted to take some pictures today."

"Sure, I'm down for that," I say as saunter over to my dresser that sits against one of the walls in my walk-in closet. I pull out a pair of sweatpants and a big, white v-neck I borrowed from Tom a while ago and never gave back. "Where are you shooting?"

I grab a plain gray jacket as I wait for Tom's reply. I can hear him breathing on the other end, but he doesn't say anything. As I put the clothes on next to my bed, I wonder if he heard me. "Tom?"

"Promise yeh will still come?" He asks slowly. As I pull the big jacket on, I furrow my brow.

"I promise?" I question. Immediately, I regret it. Tom lets out a little sigh of relief, knowing I won't break my promise and says, "We're goin' to Olleh's band practice."

"Tom!" I cry. I'm frozen in place, next to my bed. I had been to Oliver's band practices before, thanks to Tom and never enjoyed myself. I remember once, Oliver switched up his own lyrics and screamed into the mic, "Amelia's stomach will be the next eclipse." That was the last time I went to their band practices. I didn't eat for a week after.

But Tom caught me in a trap, "Olleh will be good, Amelia. And anyways, yeh promised."

What have I got myself into?