Just a Kiss

A tight clutch thrust me against a warm body. Twisting and hurling itself in a hundred and one directions: fear, excitement, helplessness - and could it be love? My stomach battled to decide as slender fingers reached their way towards my face, and turned my cheek.
Then the murky purple hair. It swished over my skin. My eyes closed. Every exposed element felt hot, lost confused – and no longer mine. His face swept back. His hands still holding me into the situation; I was there in his arms. A strangers arms. A stranger with sleek purple hair. I. I, Mindi Chulip had just been kissed.

I had never done anything. I'd never really chosen anything. I’ve always felt that everybody else has been pushing me around all my life. I wouldn’t say that it was for the best, either. A toddler blindfolded, with his left hand could have drawn out the paths better. It’s been a hectic, tear driven and devastating route. This moment seemed like it didn’t belong: like a beautiful, epic colourful picture amongst a monotone book of typos and errors.

I felt the silky impact of his glance that flickered, a dart of icy sunlight on my face. It sent vibrations through me, and I was reminded I was still there with him. Locked in his embrace, the cream cuffs of his jacket creased against my waist.
No matter how confused I was, no matter how dominated, and different, and unsure I felt – I was sure of one thing: This moment was mine, and I was his. This was my life, and this is what I wanted. “Kizuko,“ he said. A soft and gentle whisper that came from his mouth, like sifted icing sugar. His name was mystical yet gorgeous, just like the kiss. They both lay there on my tongue, for hours afterwards... dissolving delectably, making me crave for more.

Then Ouen came. Another person. Just as I thought I’d got a grip of the steering wheel; here he was. Ouen who knew everything; about me! Ouen who told me everything- everything I should’ve known, and everything he shouldn’t.

***

“He’s a liar!” The first thing I noticed was his choppy fringe, jagged like a torn paper bag. “Don’t look at him!?!” There was a slight pause, I was about to turn away from him. I mean, he didn’t know me! What right did he have to – “He’ll hurt you, Mindi.” He knew my name?
Taking a step back, my oh-so-dainty, yet clammy fingers grasped at my skirt for a strange kind of comfort. I needed to see the bigger picture. Suddenly, I was aware of the raucous babble of noises that were suffocating me. The squeaky wheels of a trolley, girls high pitched laughs, someone choking on a swish of Volvic water. I was aware now; it wasn’t just me, Kizuko (we hadn’t spoke since the incident yesterday) and some nuisance guy with sloping shoulders, getting in our way. Now everybody seemed to the in the way; a sea of tables, food, and heads that swarmed with a life of its own. Amongst it were fast paced kids who knew where they were heading, dawdlers, waiting for fate to decide their direction; and then there was me. Me, and this guy, this guy… this…

“Ouen,” he said, as if he could read my mind. “My name’s Ouen,” he repeated as though his telepathy had failed him, and I wasn’t really wondering what his name was. “Oh,” I blandly let it slip out my pursed candy coloured lips. Tit-Tat, bland and directing me. If he was trying to win me over, he was a poor attempt compared with Kizuko. For some reason, though- my heart began racing, and I was blushing faintly. Then I knew. I could sense it... Kizuko was approaching. Swarming- all the words, thoughts and feelings that had been clogged up in my throat since yesterday were suddenly released in an outburst of motion. I leapt back, my fingers splayed rigidly in shock.

“Ow-!” Came a dignified shriek from behind me. Her neatly arranged lime cordial, cucumber sandwiches and marble red cherry tomatoes shattered from her lunch tray. The tomatoes buoyantly bouncing, scattered at my feet.
I didn’t want to take my eyes off Kizuko, he was giving the Ouen guy a ‘who do you think you are?’ look, that usually translates to, ‘you deserve a good punch.’ I turned away, regardless- why should I care? This Ouen guy was only a problem anyway.

“I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t mean to, look- I honestly don’t know what’s gotten into me recently, and if y-” She interrupted me with a stare, her eyes stormy slits of pure hatred. I hesitated; widening my gaze, and then squinting in curiosity. Obviously annoyed I wasn’t taking the punishment of her glare, she too looked down at the tray; poised in her hands.
Everything, every last item, right down to her fan folded napkin was once again, perfectly assembled on the yellow plastic. And all the while, my eyes fixed on her drink, the bubbles ascending with momentum to the lime-green surface. It was a strange silence, as if she too was waiting for something to happen. For me to tap the tray, and say it’s all plastic, just a trick, see? Or for it all to crumble back to the mess it was before, and us to be relieved it was all the work of imagination. But her lunch remained in perfect condition. And despite however interesting the little spots of light on tomatoes are, I couldn’t ignore the fact that another body was pressing close against mine.

Rectangular joints of his shapely hands cased over my shoulder, uncasing the icy barrier around my heart; melting it into my stomach that began to slosh with adrenaline. Warm breath caressed my neck, yet it made me feel bitterly tense inside. I could no longer constrict the surging within me- ‘He’ll hurt you, Mindi’, the voice echoing, an endless ghostly chain in my head. And for some strange reason, I believed it.
Thrusting his hand urgently into mine, we paced through the chaotic room. Tearing away from the situation, me and Ouen pulsed onwards. So fast that I lost sense of what I was doing. When we stopped… We stopped? I felt like I had hit a wall; in every direction. Losing grip, and in between choppy breaths, my voice managed to climb to the peak. “Thank you, Ouen.”
But back then, I wasn’t quite sure. Back then I didn’t realize what I was really thanking him for.